a hypothetical situation

Loulou2010

if a pregnant woman knew that she wouldn't be able to cope with her baby and wanted to give it up once baby was born but the father didn't (they are together), what rights does the father have? can he stop her?

clearingout

presumably the relationship would break down and the father would 'keep' the child himself?

building_with_lego

Is the woman not open to the idea of help? Medical (I am assuming depression or something similar here) and social, i.e. mothers' helpers, cleaners etc.

It sounds like a very sad situation for all involved.

ETA was the pregnancy planned? Have the feelings of being unable to cope happened while she's been pregnant? Could she have ante-natal depression? Or was there a reason to continue with the unwanted pregnancy against her wishes? (Sorry for all the questions- don't feel you have to answer!)

Taadaa

I think you would need to look at parental rights as well, which are different depending on whether the parents are married or not.

peachyprice

Pretty much a moot point isn't it? The relationship is doomed.

I can't imagine any relationship surviving a woman giving their child away against the father's wishes.

It would be a very very selfish mother who decided to give the baby up for adoption but refused the father his right to be a single parent to the child.

Tish_P

I don't know the legal situation but I think the father has rights although it may be more difficult if they're not married. The most reasonable solution would be for them to split up, him to raise the baby and her to pay maintenance, the same as would happen if it was him who decided he didn't want to be a parent.

elvis86

Tish_P wrote: »

The most reasonable solution would be for them to split up, him to raise the baby and her to pay maintenance, the same as would happen if it was him who decided he didn't want to be a parent.

Don't be ridiculous! She's a woman, she has way more rights than a man! She should be able to put her child up for adoption if she wants to. Besides, a man would never want to raise a child alone because they're all b*****ds etc etc...:cool:

Tish_P

No, no, Elvis, get your rants straight! If you want a feminist tirade about this one, it goes: Observe how, in that situation, she'd be seen as a complete monster for abandoning her kid and him a saint for bringing it up, whereas when the reverse happens society berates single mums for making the wrong choice of man. Etc etc smell of singed bra.

heretolearn_2

The child can't be adopted out without his consent as long as he has parental responsibility - if they are unmarried this is not automatic. He needs to do one of the following:
jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother
by a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
by a parental responsibility order, made by a court
by marrying the mother of the child

Honestly there is no way their relationship can survive this either way, she can't be forced to bring up a child she doesn't want, and he won't forgive her if she gets the child adopted against his wishes. So he might as well get to a lawyer now and get parental responsibility sorted out, then he can keep and raise the kid.

Must happen in real life sometimes, very tricky one. No one ends up completely happy.

elvis86

Tish_P wrote: »

No, no, Elvis, get your rants straight! If you want a feminist tirade about this one, it goes: Observe how, in that situation, she'd be seen as a complete monster for abandoning her kid and him a saint for bringing it up, whereas when the reverse happens society berates single mums for making the wrong choice of man.

...and/or berates the father for being a useless waste of space; it's not like men get applauded for being absent fathers.:cool:

Observe how, women are so quick to accept and embrace the superiority of the "maternal bond" when it's suggested that a man wants custody of children over their mother, but how willing they are to dismiss it when they feel that it's a threat to their equality.

A man who sought custody of his children with weekend access rights for their mother, for no reason other than him "wanting his children with him", would equally be seen as cruel. A mother seeking the same agreement? Well, that's just the way it goes isn't it? A child should be with their mother etc etc.;)

System

What if he takes on parental responsibility and changes his mind?

I knew someone who's husband fought her for the kids and when he got parental responsibility decided he'd had enough when the going went tough so they went back to the Mum.

I suppose in your friends case if that happened she could put the child up for adoption but thats not really fair for the child being shunted around.