Advice For A Friend....

PrincessPlaty

So she couldn't remove her name now even if she wanted to?

From what I have found online it is the value of the house deducting the outstanding mortgage to give the value of the property and as there is 20k negative equity if im right i dont think that would have an effect on any benefits.

I think she just feels stuck at the moment, she says it is awkward being under the same roof as him and its making it difficult for the kids but without money she can't move and she can't get money until she moves.

The situation seems crazy.

VfM4meplse

paddy's_mum wrote: »

First off? Tell her to stop signing agreements that could far too easily end up cutting her own financial throat unless she has taken good legal advice. It may be amicable now but the whole scenario smacks of manipulation and advantage taking. Why is she being so biddable?

It's time your friend played it a bit smarter. There's no harm in appearing to patch things up whilst taking stock of the situation, it could reveal some interesting unknowns.

go_cat

You could try posting on the MSE benefits forum http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=139 to see what she would be entitled to

or she could try http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx which will give a rough idea of what she is entitled to

Taadaa

I agree with Paddysmum but didn't want to say - he might have taken advice already AMD be taking her for a ride. What was the dmp for? If she didn't run up the debt she shouldn't have agreed to be named on it. I think he wants her to think he is being generous while he is diddling her out of her entitlement.

meer53

Tell your friend not to move out until she has sorted everything out. He cannot force her to move whilst the children are so young.

She needs to bide her time, difficult as it will be, she needs good legal advice as to what she should do. She shouldn't be looking for places to rent at the moment.

PrincessPlaty

I think although it hasn't been directly said that she may have cheated on him and if she hasn't then she has in the past, I think why this is maybe why she is just nodding and agreeing!

I really dont want to ask too many questions into that side of it though.

She has told him that she doesn't want a divorce and told me that he is set to inherit 180k when his mother passes away I have a feeling this may also be another reason why she is being so agreeable to everything

PrincessPlaty

go_cat wrote: »

You could try posting on the MSE benefits forum http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=139 to see what she would be entitled to

or she could try http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx which will give a rough idea of what she is entitled to

I have just been on turn2us and done it for her which is how i found out about the negative equity in the house because i had to ask her what the house was worth and what the mortgage was on it.

Taadaa wrote: »

I agree with Paddysmum but didn't want to say - he might have taken advice already AMD be taking her for a ride. What was the dmp for? If she didn't run up the debt she shouldn't have agreed to be named on it. I think he wants her to think he is being generous while he is diddling her out of her entitlement.

The DMP was for general household bills and living expenses after he was made redundant and out of work for 6 months she also told me that she had debts with 3 catalogues which are included in it.

meer53 wrote: »

Tell your friend not to move out until she has sorted everything out. He cannot force her to move whilst the children are so young.

She needs to bide her time, difficult as it will be, she needs good legal advice as to what she should do. She shouldn't be looking for places to rent at the moment.

Her main concern at the moment is that she feels awkward being in the same home as him and she feels it is effecting the children. I am aware that he has offered to go and stay with friends until she sorts herself out while he continues to pay for everything and she has said no that she would rather leave.

Im not sure why maybe there are to many bad memories there but it seems whatever is suggested to her she instantly goes back to not wanting to be in the house...

Cornish_piskie

First and foremost she should not enter into any agreements with her ex until she gets some proper advice from a Family Law solicitor. You could help her to find a reputable one by asking around friends in a similar position.

My ex waved bits of paper at me to sign telling me to leave it all to his solicitor (no need to waste money on two solicitors he said!) If I had done things his way, I'd have been up the proverbial without a paddle.:o

There is no reason why she cannot get a part time job - it's actually easier to work whilst they are little as childcare is plentiful and she will qualify for help with the payments via WTC.

As for the house, that will be more tricky - HB may pay rent (or part rent) for a period of 26 weeks if she currently owns a property but they will want proof that the house is being marketed or that arrangements are being put in place for ex to take the property on solely. This is specialist stuff, not to be sorted out by home made contracts - she will likely qualify for Legal Aid so she should make that solicitor appointment asap.

Been there and done it - in very similar circumstances - 2 kids under 7 and 14 years of marriage - 5 years down the line now and loving life Wishing your friend lots of luck, it's a daunting process but will all get better very soon x

Mojisola

PrincessPlaty wrote: »

She has told him that she doesn't want a divorce and told me that he is set to inherit 180k when his mother passes away I have a feeling this may also be another reason why she is being so agreeable to everything

I can understand why he might be trying to get her to sign away some of her rights!

If his mother dies after they have split up, why should she expect to get a share of his inheritance?

PrincessPlaty

Aww glad your happy now Cornish piskie!

Does anyone know if the contracts he has made her sign are legally binding if they haven't been checked by a solicitor?
Im just wondering if what she has signed already is legally binding or if she can get around what she has already signed in the future if she needs to!