10K CC Debt Cycle

Deru

Agreed! Didn't want him to starve though.

Some bad news. Got him to look at Noddle (1 out 5 rating, naturally), he's revealed to me some further info. He has some other bank accounts with overdrafts as well.....he says it's around £22K if including the barclaycards........:eek:

I definitely need to refer him to the charities...as it seems out of my league. Before, didn't seem too bad as I had more cash savings than his debt but now it's doubled...

...at least he's looking at his problem now as I agree that he's been in denial but I take it this is normal behavior for some others in the same boat?

Now if I can get the SOA from him....

barbarawright wrote: »

Does your friend understand that shuffling money around will just hold off disaster for a little longer and he can only *solve* his problem my spending less money? It sounds as if he is in deep denial and is hoping you will magic everything better!

At the moment, I can't picture it solving the issue by spending less. It'll help but without earning significantly more or at least freezing the charges, the interest will eat everything up. And as me magic'ing everything better, I sort of started this little research on my own accord as he was asking me for money so regularly. Noticed his little cycle but didn't think it was this bad!

barbarawright

Deru wrote: »

Agreed! Didn't want him to starve though.

,

He's not starving though is he? According to one of your earlier posts he's spending £7 a day on lunch :eek:

Is he actually doing anything to help himself?

Deru

Well, I was lending him money before I gave him the tip to make his own lunches and that was when he revealed the £7 lunches with the excuse that making sandwiches "wasn't enough" as a lunch. Did annoy me a bit as you can have a filling home made lunch (and while leeching coffee from work for free rather than buying).

He's looking at his situation now and realises that he's in a mess....so that's a start. Need to find out more myself really as I don't know his exact income or cost of bills...

udydudy

Deru wrote: »

Well, I was lending him money before I gave him the tip to make his own lunches and that was when he revealed the £7 lunches with the excuse that making sandwiches "wasn't enough" as a lunch. Did annoy me a bit as you can have a filling home made lunch (and while leeching coffee from work for free rather than buying).

He's looking at his situation now and realises that he's in a mess....so that's a start. Need to find out more myself really as I don't know his exact income or cost of bills...

I had a similar situation 8 years back, where a colleague who I was close to used to keep asking money for lunch and other petty expenses but never let on to anyone that she was in deep trouble(including herself). Unfortunately until the person stops being in denial there is nothing one can do. Also once they are out of denial, the next step other than getting the SoA done is debating what expense is essential and a non-essential.

I had a hard time getting her to understand, David lloyd gym @£90 p.m.; Sky TV @ £45 p.m is non-essential expense, other than that eating out, evening booze, Selfridges undergarments, etc etc. Sometimes it is tough to make them understand that exercise can be done at home until you sort your debts, food can be made at home and taken along to office.

With £30k+ in debt on personal loans(@12%) and credit cards @19% it was important to save every penny to reduce the expensive debt.

I hope you are able to get him to understand that if he wants to enjoy tomorrow he has to make sacrifices today.... borrowing from friends can only go on for so long.

I would advise you not to involve your own money as if a person cannot make sacrifices to reduce expenses and take up an extra job(even if he has to work 7 days) to increase income, he would just take your money and go spend more at your expense.

glasgowsaver2011

Until he or she has to sacrifice, give up and lose (whether that be a car or foreign holiday) nothing will change.

They need to drastically change your life.

At least from here you can see that investing your money in this is a dead end!...

If you dont want them to starve make them sandwiches for lunch or a tuna pasta for dinner!

This is not your problem

SnowBelle_2

To the OP,
You seem to be a good friend,but by reading some of your comments your 'friend' still does not want to help himself.
I had a situation with a girl I was friendly with, she told me she had some money problems so I tried helping her the way you are trying now.

I did not ever contemplate giving her money.

She did'nt seem to have any grasp of reality,ie: buying lunch from M&S,gym and spa days,buying a new BMW only to have it repoed two months later!
I eventually found out she was £80k in debt,at this time I had to pull back and watch her go bankrupt.
But it wore me down in the end,sometimes being cruel to be kind is the only way to save yourself from drowning under other peoples problems.

Deru

I whole heartedly agree with the comments above. I'll get him to look at his situatation to make changes and use the tips on this thread. I agree that I can only go so far with my own money and time and he doesn't take on board the advice then that's that. Nothing more I can do.

I'll keep an eye on this thread should there be any more useful tips but any thing already mentioned, no need to repeat. Thanks all.