Bad debt

julsar

I have no idea where to post this but here looks as good as any so here goes. This is a difficult one so i'm looking for ideas and suggestions. All input is appreciated. I was living in a mobile home i bought on a site in Norfolk. Not being a big fan of work i just did a few hours each week giving guitar lessons and some gardening for local people. This earned me about £120 a week but as i don't spend a lot it was enough to survive. My girlfriend has always spent more than she earns and run up a big debt on her credit cards. She often asked me to move in with her but i like my independence and never really wanted to live with anyone. One day she told me she owed over £10,000 and asked me if i could help her. I had about £3,000 saved but i didn't want to lend it to her because i thought i would never see it again and i wanted to keep it in case of an emergency. She broke down in tears and begged me to help her. She wanted me to sell my mobile home and lend her the money. The plan was i would move into her council flat and she would pay me back at £150 a week. I didn't want to do it but i could see she was desperate and i agreed on the strict understanding that repaying me was top priority. We agreed she would pay the bills and my only contribution would be £30 a week towards food plus whatever i grow on my allotment. I sold my mobile home and managed to scrape together enough to cover her debt which by now was nearer £11,000. Two months later she got sacked from work and told me she was only going to get £70 a week in benefits so she would have to stop paying me for a while. £70 is nothing to her, she spends more than that on taxi's. She says she is looking for another job but meanwhile i am working extra hours and lending her more instead of getting back what she owes me. Now the council say she owes rent as her housing benefit has been stopped because someone told them i am living with her and working. Apparently i am expected to pay the rent. I of course refuse to do this as it was never the agreement. I am supposed to be getting £150 a week from her but instead i am spending up to fifty hours a week working to fund her lifestyle and now i am being asked for money to rent a flat that i am not a tenant of and can legally be thrown out of at any time. She now owes me £16,000 and i have said thats as far as it goes. I will not give her another penny and i want my money back at the agreed rate. I don't care where she gets it from but i will not be used as a cash machine any longer. This has caused a lot of bad feeling and the relationship has broken down beyond repair. I want her out of my life and i want to go back to the life i had before. The site owner has said i can go back any time but i will need to pay a hefty deposit and make regular payments each week. I urgently need my money back but i can't afford to move out and i know if i leave i will never see a penny of what she owes me. I suggested that she gets a job and has her wages paid into my account. I will give her just enough to survive and keep the rest until her debt to me is paid. She sort of agreed but i think she just said it to shut me up. Her rent is £100 a week, i want a minimum of £150 although i think it should be £200 now, she should be able to exist on £150 so she needs a take home pay of at least £450 a week. She can't find a job that pays that much so she seems happy to stay on her pittance of a benefit and ignore her commitments. So what can i do? I wish i had never met her.

Chrissiew

I think you may be better off posting this in the loan forum, people should be able to help in there

Hmm71

If you have family and friends you could move in with for now then do so and take her to court. Don't give up until you get back every penny then cut her out of your life completely. She won't ever change. Good luck to you and yes as Chrissie says you'll get more helpful advice from the loans forum.
Sorry if I sound bitter but I've had personal experience of this sort of thing myself and almost ended up bankrupt trying to be nice and helpful.

karenx

Theres nothing you can do regarding the rent situation. She should of notified housing benefit you were staying there and your wages would of been taken into account when working out entitlement to housing benefit. So yes its right you then owe them money.

Dunroamin

karenx wrote: »

Theres nothing you can do regarding the rent situation. She should of notified housing benefit you were staying there and your wages would of been taken into account when working out entitlement to housing benefit. So yes its right you then owe them money.

I don't think that the OP actually owes any money for rent and I don't think that anyone except his girlfriend is saying he does.

rogerblack

julsar wrote: »

Two months later she got sacked from work and told me she was only going to get £70 a week in benefits so she would have to stop paying me for a while.

Neglecting anything else.
You're earning far to much for when she becomes not entitled to contribution-based JSA - if she has not got a job 6 months after she first claimed - her to get any benefit at all.

In addition, if she was in fact sacked from work, she will likely either be under a sanction, and getting paid a reduced rate, or nothing, for a period.
Or if she has lied about being sacked, she will be being overpaid JSA, and they could require the overpayment back, if they find out.

Was there any formal loan agreement?

BigAunty

When you live together, the local council and DWP view all income as joint income for the purpses of means tested benefits like council tax, housing benefit and JSA (income based).

This is because couples are expected to support and assist each other, even if they don't like to so, your views on this and your personal financial arrangements with your ex are irrelevant when it comes to calculating benefits (Incidentally, those sacked from their jobs can be sanctioned from receiving Job Seekers Allowance for up to 6 months so I'm surprised she received any benefits at all).

She signed the claim documents so she is responsible for any overpayments in benefits and possibly criminal charges for benefit fraud for saying she lived alone when she did not. She is the tenant with the council so only she is responsible for paying the rent to them. You have no liability whatsoever towards her living expenses, debts, rent or benefits so stop saying that you are made to pay these, these are paid through your own volition.

If you are facing homelessness, due to your relationship breakdown, see the Shelter website for info on your options. Some local councils operate deposit guarantee schemes. Run your self employment income and site rent through the Turn2us online benefit calculator to see if you are due any tax credits, council tax discount or housing benefit.

That's the only part of your post that is relevant for the benefit forum.

The rest you need to discuss in the relationship or debt forums, such as the rather strange belief that you need to keep paying someone who owes you loads of money who has absolutely no means to pay you back anyway (you do know that you can't get money out of someone who has none, don't you?).

elvis86

julsar wrote: »

I was living in a mobile home i bought on a site in Norfolk. Not being a big fan of work i just did a few hours each week giving guitar lessons and some gardening for local people. This earned me about £120 a week but as i don't spend a lot it was enough to survive. My girlfriend has always spent more than she earns and run up a big debt on her credit cards. She often asked me to move in with her but i like my independence and never really wanted to live with anyone. One day she told me she owed over £10,000 and asked me if i could help her. I had about £3,000 saved but i didn't want to lend it to her because i thought i would never see it again and i wanted to keep it in case of an emergency. She broke down in tears and begged me to help her. She wanted me to sell my mobile home and lend her the money. The plan was i would move into her council flat and she would pay me back at £150 a week. I didn't want to do it but i could see she was desperate and i agreed on the strict understanding that repaying me was top priority.

I'm struggling to advise (or sympathise), to be honest. When you know full well in advance that something is a terrible idea and is likely jeopordise the lifestyle that you've carved out for yourself and everything that you hold dear....why the **** would you go ahead and do it anyway?! Was she that good in bed?

If you were adamant that you wanted to help this woman, why didn't you insist that she move in with you? If you were existing happily in your mobile home on £120 a week, surely she could have saved a significant amount on rent/council tax/utilities if you were generous enough to accept a nominal amount from her towards your bills? That way, she would have remained responsible for clearing her own debts with the money she was saving, but if she had chosen not to (as it sounds like she probably would have, regardless of being sacked) - the problem would've remained 100% her's.

julsar wrote: »

We agreed she would pay the bills and my only contribution would be £30 a week towards food plus whatever i grow on my allotment. I sold my mobile home and managed to scrape together enough to cover her debt which by now was nearer £11,000. Two months later she got sacked from work and told me she was only going to get £70 a week in benefits so she would have to stop paying me for a while. £70 is nothing to her, she spends more than that on taxi's. She says she is looking for another job but meanwhile i am working extra hours and lending her more instead of getting back what she owes me. Now the council say she owes rent as her housing benefit has been stopped because someone told them i am living with her and working. Apparently i am expected to pay the rent. I of course refuse to do this as it was never the agreement. I am supposed to be getting £150 a week from her but instead i am spending up to fifty hours a week working to fund her lifestyle and now i am being asked for money to rent a flat that i am not a tenant of and can legally be thrown out of at any time.

Any "agreement" that you and your girlfriend made is irrelevant. You were living there and earning; why the hell should the state pay the rent because of some "agreement" between you and your girlfriend?

julsar wrote: »

She now owes me £16,000 and i have said thats as far as it goes. I will not give her another penny and i want my money back at the agreed rate. I don't care where she gets it from but i will not be used as a cash machine any longer. This has caused a lot of bad feeling and the relationship has broken down beyond repair. I want her out of my life and i want to go back to the life i had before. The site owner has said i can go back any time but i will need to pay a hefty deposit and make regular payments each week. I urgently need my money back but i can't afford to move out and i know if i leave i will never see a penny of what she owes me. I suggested that she gets a job and has her wages paid into my account. I will give her just enough to survive and keep the rest until her debt to me is paid. She sort of agreed but i think she just said it to shut me up. Her rent is £100 a week, i want a minimum of £150 although i think it should be £200 now, she should be able to exist on £150 so she needs a take home pay of at least £450 a week. She can't find a job that pays that much so she seems happy to stay on her pittance of a benefit and ignore her commitments. So what can i do? I wish i had never met her.

You can demand repayments at £1000 a week if you like, but you won't see a penny unless she has it. Dictating that she must get a job paying £450 a week won't get you anywhere. Surely it's better that she gets any job and pays you back anything, no matter how small?

I'm afraid you've been a grade A idiot, despite actually forseeing all of this before you even agreed to give up your home and savings to help this woman! I've very little sympathy for someone so stupid.

[Deleted User]

i`m wondering how anybody could be so stupid as the OP,i`m assuming that he didnt get an agreement in writing for the loan,and doesnt stand a chance of getting a penny back
he should walk away now,write off the debt and start again

julsar

Thanks all. Elvis i really don't care who pays her rent but it certainly won't be me. I tried to help a friend in need and made a big mistake. I didn't ask her to move in with me because i would have been stuck with her for life and she wouldn't have given up her flat anyway. As for her getting a job, she has expensive tastes and needs a good wage. She is a fully qualified beautician and is only looking for the going rate. She is not being greedy. I have been lending her more money because i couldn't see her starve. But now i have had enough. I will not be giving her any more money or paying her bills and debts. I have come to an agreement with the site owner to rent a mobile home with the option to buy when/if i can get a bank loan so i will move out soon. I will sell her rings and necklaces and anything else of any value and she can get another credit card or cards to pay me the balance. The days of me being a soft touch are over.

HB58

I think your best bet is to walk away and wash your hands of her. Do not give her any more money, whatever sob story she spins. I'm afraid that I think your chances of getting much, if any, of your money back are roughly zero!