Parents evenings for Secondary school age children.

ViolaLass

Spendless wrote: »

Ok, Well we've been and I am sooooo glad we DID see the teacher of the subject DS excels in, because she immediately started talking about him suddenly becoming introverted, not listening, only wanting to work alone etc but his actual work is not suffering, nor his exam grades, and we haven't seen any lack of enthusiasm at home, however it tied in to us with a spell of bother we've been having with him and some of his peer group and school is aware as DH had a meeting with them before the last hols. Anyway we got to see the person in charge of pastoral care and have set the ball rolling for DS to get some support.

I wondered about something like this. Just because a child is doing well in a subject, doesn't mean that teacher will have nothing to tell you. Life is about more than academic results.

LandyAndy

angelil wrote: »

As a teacher of secondary school kids I would say the following:

- Don't see a teacher if you KNOW your kid is doing fine/has no problems whatsoever in that particular subject; it wastes your time and mine (even if it is a nice ego booster for you and your child) to only be told the kid is a pleasure to teach/is top of the class and takes time away from appointments with parents whose children have problems in the subject.

And how do I KNOW if the one person who can tell me doesn't want to see me? My children are bright and have never appeared to 'struggle' but meeting teachers has highlighted particular points.

- Don't just 'drop in' whenever you think the teacher 'might' be free unless you know for a fact that the school doesn't mind you doing this. At ours the appointments are made by parents online in advance and my list is full days before the parents' evening; It throws you completely off schedule and it is a pain in the rear when your commute is nearly an hour and a half one way to be delayed by even fifteen extra minutes.

Tough. It's part of your job.

- Finally, just about all teachers have an email address these days. If you can't get an appointment with a teacher, get their email address from the school office and email them your questions/concerns instead, explaining in the email that you are writing because you were unable to attend the parents' evening.

Hope this helps a bit

Maybe the staff at my childrens' school take their responsibilities a bit more seriously?

catch_me_if_you_can

At my DD's school they like the child to book the appointment, if they "can't" the teachers will give you an appointment once they know you're there. I did take a list of her subjects too, and ticked them off as we saw the teachers as there was always one she forgot to mention...

Yes, of course I got to be a mum without ever being a teenager myself

angelil

LandyAndy wrote: »

Maybe the staff at my childrens' school take their responsibilities a bit more seriously?

Please don't judge people that you don't know in this way when you have no idea of their circumstances. The OP asked for input on what she could do if not all teachers were available for appointments and I gave my advice from a teacher's point of view. I'm sorry if you don't happen to agree with it.

mrcow

ViolaLass wrote: »

I wondered about something like this. Just because a child is doing well in a subject, doesn't mean that teacher will have nothing to tell you. Life is about more than academic results.

I agree. I have lots to say about many of my pupils who are chugging along at A/B grades and "doing well". I also have lots to say about many of my A*pupils. Just because someone is able, it doesn't mean that there is nothing important to discuss. I would hope that none of their parents would ever think of a meeting with me as a waste of their time.

As for leaving late, that's part and parcel of the job I'm afraid. I'd rather see everyone and give them the time and detail they need than not give them the opportunity to freely discuss progress, targets, exams/revision and concerns.

jellyhead

Our school used an online booking system this time and it worked much better than the old method - they even sent me a text message to inform me about it.

My son is very disorganised and hates talking, so he never used to book me any appointments except for the one that his form tutor would insist on. I'd have to hover around and slot myself in whenever anyone was free, and other teachers would take my email address to pass on to anyone I couldn't speak to.

I don't think there's ever been a teacher who had nothing to say, until this time (year 11) when the science teachers were nice about him - I nearly fell off my chair in astonishment. Most parents evening the conversation is about homework not being done. In year 9 my son 'lost' his report card and 'forgot' to make appointments with his science teachers (who coincidentally had made comments on the report card about the lack of homework).

If all communication with parents is done through letters given to the child you'd be amazed at what you haven't the slightest idea about, and the teachers think you just don't give a monkeys whereas in reality all of their letters are scrunched up in the bottom of a bag.

Not implying that your son is anything like mine though Spendless

catch_me_if_you_can

jellyhead wrote: »

If all communication with parents is done through letters given to the child you'd be amazed at what you haven't the slightest idea about, and the teachers think you just don't give a monkeys whereas in reality all of their letters are scrunched up in the bottom of a bag.

I agree - I've lost count of the letters/newsletters etc I've found in the bin when DD has emptied her bag/pockets out.

Spendless

BTW - Is it usual for the students to attend parents evenings? At primary school we were asked not to bring them along and I never attended any parents evenings when I was a kid, but we were one of the few that didn't take their child along to appointments. I hadn't realised we could.

FBaby

angelil wrote: »

As a teacher of secondary school kids I would say the following:

- Don't see a teacher if you KNOW your kid is doing fine/has no problems whatsoever in that particular subject; it wastes your time and mine (even if it is a nice ego booster for you and your child) to only be told the kid is a pleasure to teach/is top of the class and takes time away from appointments with parents whose children have problems in the subject.

I have to say this answer really annoyed me To hear that to discuss a child who is doing well is a waste of teacher's time and only seen as parental ego really worries me about teachers' state of mind if this is a common position amongst teachers.

My daughter is a high achiever, very well behaved and socially well integrated. When I meet with her teacher, it is always to be given compliments. For one, yes, it is extemely pleasurable to hear, but considering how much effort I have put into their education (was a single full-time working mum for over 5 years, still working full-time now with commute, so not easy), I don't think it is such a horrible thing to feel proud and get some self-pleasure in hearing how great my kids are doing at school. Still, that is certainly not the reason I go to see them. As it happens, I have had concerns about how much my daughter has been challenged this year. Before my mentioning anything, her Maths teacher (the one subject it is most of an issue) herself stated right away that she was aware my DD was challenged enough, making it easier for me to discuss the matter. She asked my DD whether she was bored in class (something she had never asked her before), and when she said that she often was, the teacher did say she would try different things to make it better for her.

Is it so bad as a parent to want to make sure that their children are challenged to their capacity? It has nothing to do with my wanting them to be high achievers, but to make sure that they learn the concept of working hard to get results and giving the best of oneself. I would hate them growing up thinking that they don't have to do much in life because they are clever. They happen to both be academically clever, this is something they should be grateful for because they were born this way, and that doesn't mean they shouldn't work as hard as someone who needs more time and attention to understand the same concept.

It really bothers me that some teachers think only troubled students should be given attention. All children should receive attention for the various needs they have. That doesn't mean taylored work for all, but some recognition that even when clever, children do have needs and discussing it during parent evenings is a good opportunities to come up with easy ways to get even more out of them if appropriate.

jellyhead

Spendless wrote: »

BTW - Is it usual for the students to attend parents evenings? At primary school we were asked not to bring them along and I never attended any parents evenings when I was a kid, but we were one of the few that didn't take their child along to appointments. I hadn't realised we could.

Most kids go to ours, but they hang around outside if the teacher is a scary one :eek:

I take my son, but sometimes I want to talk about him without him listening (when discussing special needs type stuff) so I leave him with his friends in the library.