Now what to do? Please help- desperate and deeply upset

wiggywoo9

I need to move out ASAP. I live with my family and have a 10m old son- I'm a lone parent. I just finished my 2nd yr at uni.

It was ok living here at first, but now its overcrowded and I cannot do it anymore. I'm mentally abused each way I turn- my mum is manipulative, cruel and picks at everything. She puts me down constantly, threatens my role of parent and completly unsupportive in everything. I have no friends as they've all left for uni and at uni, being a parent has left me with a few friends I see only in class.

I had depression before being a mum, but now it's destroying me. It's not been decided if I've got severe PND or bipolar disorder- appointment soon. Basically, I'm struggling but being here is making it worst- hence two suicide attempts in a year.

I don't want to put anyone down, but I could do without nastiness! So moving out is my problem. As a student, I can't get Income Support til term is finished as they count my loan as income. So my last loan (about £2000) which I planned to put to deposit, furnishings and 1st month rent, on a private rented place, is hindering me. I need a permanent place to live with my son, but without income support I can't get LHA and can't live on child benefit and child tax credit. I'm on the housing list but it's taking forever as it is.

Can anyone help? I need a home and escape, and a new start!! Please?

NoBS_2

OP I'm sorry to hear of your situation.

I had Puerperral Psychosis after having my first son so know really how devastating it can be dealing with a child and a mental illness. (not to mention a family who refused point blank to believe any of it and hindered my recovery!)

It's not my area but I am sure someone will be along soon to help who knows more; but I was positive if you had a medical reason you could be moved up the housing list. Perhaps your illness and situation at home right now comes under this if your doctor supports you - which I'm sure they would. Mines was terrific.

Soeone will come to help soon. Just try and be patient. I hope you can get some sort of counselling arranged, perhaps you have already, but the suicide mention clearly means you need this type of help ASAP. Take care xx

lynndy36

Take a deep breath.......its going to be ok.

Could you make an appointment with your local citizens advice bureau? Also due to your mental health problems I presume you have a CPN and support? They too can give benefit advice and may know of some way to help you. I cannot give advice regarding your uni status and how that affects your chances of getting the relevent benefit help. Only suggestions Im afraid. I had PND too and suffer with mental health problesm so I understand a little of how vulnerable you feel right now. At the very least you need mental health support you shouldnt be coping with all this alone. I would hope you're on medication and having regular meetings with the psych department?

kingfisherblue

Could you apply to the university Access to Learning Fund (it used to be called a hardship fund)?

wiggywoo9

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Could you apply to the university Access to Learning Fund (it used to be called a hardship fund)?

I did, but it came back that I won't be getting it. I appealed, but same result. I don't understand why cos I am entitled

kingfisherblue

I don't think anyone is actually entitled to the AtoL Fund - it is discretionary, and the pot is smaller in many universities than it has been in previous years. Maybe that is the reason that you were turned down.

The only other thing that I can think of at the moment is a housing forum. I know that they exist in some towns, including my own. they are for vulnerable young people, including those who have recently left care, those with babies, or those with mental health problems. Placves are limited, but if you can get into one, at least you would have your own front door. Also, there would be support when you need it.

Try this link:
http://www.jephson.org.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=55:supported-housing&catid=32&Itemid=55

ETA: you might want to alter your signature so that it does not include your child's name, if you do not want to be identified (I assume it is your child's name - apologies if not )

Caz3121

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

As a student, I can't get Income Support til term is finished as they count my loan as income. So my last loan (about £2000) which I planned to put to deposit, furnishings and 1st month rent, on a private rented place, is hindering me. I need a permanent place to live with my son, but without income support I can't get LHA and can't live on child benefit and child tax credit. I'm on the housing list but it's taking forever as it is.

You do not need to get income support to qualify for LHA, It is income based and even people who work on a low income may receive help
You need to understand the LHA rate for a 2 bedroom property in your area (your council should publish the rates)
Students normally cannot get housing benefit but as a single parent you are an exception. They will use use some of your student funding in the calculations of income together with the tax credits
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/On_a_low_income/DG_070816
Is the father paying any support, you could contact the CSA to get that going too and this will not impact the housing benefit

wiggywoo9

Even I can get a place, without income support, I can't afford to live there. That's the problem. I won't get income support cos I'm a student, but my student loan is to cover travel, my deposit for a place, furnishings, etc. Whilst I have that loan, that is my 'income', doesn't matter what its spent on. Do you see the dilemma?

cattie

Do you have a CPN? If so it is worth having a word with them, or your psychiatrist if you have one as it's possible you could be fast tracked into a council property because of your mental health issues.

Have you a branch of MIND near you? They can be very supportive & have advocacy workers who can give advice on various issues, including benefits.

If you do manage to get a place, don't worry too much about furnishings and stuff as you can pick up quite a lot of necessary items on place such as Freecycle. Also, most councils have a furniture store to help people out who are being resettled into council accommodation after being homeless or similar situations.

Good luck, I know what hell a cruel & manipulative mother can be, so do truly empathise and hope you can soon have somewhere to call your own.

Anubis_2

Please get in touch with your Health care services ASAP. The first and foremost thing to deal with ATM is the way you are feeling. From there, I would involve care workers who can assist you to get help with housing etc.

Unfortunately regarding housing you will need to wait so it's important you get the right dedicated help while you are doing so.