Giving up after one year - too soon?

maggiesoop

Help! 18 yr old son has just gone back to Uni after Easter hols and texted me that he's had a long hard think and doesn't feel he wants to finish his 4 year course to be a primary school teacher/

While I love him to bits, he's not very mature, a bit lazy, not easily motivated and frankly I was quietly pleased when he moved away from home. I thought this experience would make him grow up and I think he's capable of getting a degree.

I'm caught between a rock and a hard place of (a) not wanting him to give up too easily. I think coming out with a degree in anything may stand him in better stead than just school qualifications or (b) is life too short to be studying something for 4 years when your heart's not in it?

Any help would be appreciated

The_One_Who

It's up to him. I'd rather encourage someone to withdraw from their degree if their heart wasn't in it, than say that they should carry on for years for the sake of it. If he stops now he'll still be able to go back in the future (should he wish to) and get funding for it.

mumof3plusoh

Is it the thought of a 4 yr course that is putting him off. Has he done any teaching practise placements yet? That will give him a real feel of what it is like working with primary school children! Has he had a talk with his tutor to say how he is feeling? Sounds like it could be post holiday blues or end of 1st yr panic.

I would talk to him and also get him to talk to someone at uni.

Lots of different courses out there. A foundation degree is only 2 yrs. I have this in supporting teaching and learning and work in a primary schools as a teaching assistant but also do class cover for teachers PPA time. Pay is not brilliant but maybe another option.

If it really isn't teaching he wants to do then perhaps look at a different degree. Some degree courses are only 3 yrs.

Lots of different options to think about but I would have a real heart to heart. Like you say life is too short to be miserable.
HTH;)

Lokolo

I agree with TOW, but I would also expect him to come up with ideas about what he does want to do. If he gives up now and comes home, what he's going to do? Sit at home watching Jeremy Kyle or go out and get a job?

I would also find out why he doesn't want to finish, is it the uni? The people? The course? It's all well and good saying "I don't like it" but there's got to be something behind it.

dizzyrascal

Would it be better to take a "Leave of Absence" for a year instead of leaving. That way he can think about what he wants to do instead and can always go back if he changes his mind.
Also, he has nearly completed year one and it will be much easier to move to a new degree/university if he has completed the year. There is only another 3-4 weeks of term left.
He should also visit his Careers Service as they can help him look at his skills and motivations as well as look at what options he has.

ali-t

If he doesn't want to do it then he should be considered adult enough to make that decision BUT if you have funded his accomodation, fees, living expenses etc then you do have a say in it.

I certainly would not allow him to come home to do nothing or ponder what he wants to do with his life. I would be saying to him that he has to get a job lined up that can fully fund his lifestyle if he wants to leave uni. I would be telling him that not finishing his 1st year is not negotiable as there is only a few weeks left and a transfer to another course would look better with a full year under his belt.

stedwell

As a teacher myself I would say it is a job that you really need to enjoy and be commited to. It has a tendency to rule your life and you really have to be prepared to work hard for what is just a reasonable salary. However if I could turn back the clock I would still take the same path but it isn't always the easiest of jobs. I work in the primary sector and my husband is a secondary school teacher. I have a much larger work load but I would never, ever be able to deal with the issues he faces daily from many older children. I know when I was studying I used to have periods when I wondered what on earth I was doing. I think it is often the way with a vocational degree. I think 2 terms isn't really long enough to make a decision especially when he probably hasn't had a long practice yet. I'd hang on just a bit longer before bailing out.

SpottedLeopard_2

As already said, try to talk to him and work out what specifically he is concerned about. Length of course will pass soon enough if he is dedicated towards that goal, but he has to know he really wants to get there! Definitely find out if he's been on placement yet, and remember that just one setting is not necessarily representative of the job as a whole; different schools will vary in atmosphere, expectations, ethos etc.

bogwobbit

There's no shame in deciding that something's not for you rather than sticking with something you hate just for the sake of it. My eldest dd dropped out of her first course at uni just after Christmas and is now (fingers crossed) well settled into her third year of something completely different - with a break of a couple of years in between. She was possibly also too young and was just doing her course for the sake of going to university as it's what her school expected of her and what all her friends were doing.
However, I would certainly suggest to him that he think long and hard about his decision and why he's decided now that it's not for him and talk it through with his advisor of studies / careers staff.
If he decides not to continue then I believe, unless its changed since my daughter dropped out a few years ago, that this shouldn't affect his funding if he decides to do something else later on (I think they all one 'false start')

liney

He needs to decide whether he actually means, he doesn't want to be a teacher anymore so therefore this course is unsuitable, or whether he doesn't want to complete a degree.

If it's that he no longer wants to teach, then he should speak to the university about any options to transfer credits to another course. First year modules aren't counted for final classification, so I doubt it would be a problem to change subject.

I would also remind him that if he drops out, then going back later will be far more expensive because he will go onto the new fee structure.

devildog

Hi,
I would say support him in his decision. He has given it a fair go and no-one can ask anymore really. I don't think it is easy for anyone to admit to not wanting to continue on something that they were really enthusiastic about initially.

That is not to say to let him have an easy life if he returns home(he needs to do some serious thinking/research or get a job)

My 18 year old returned home after about a month last year!
They have spent some time researching options, various work experience placements (which was so productive in quicking allowing them to dismiss some careers)Doing a couple of A level module retakes and doing some unpaid voluntary work every week(for the experience and references).

Where are they at now-Have re-applied to go to Uni September and have un-conditional offers in the bag. Fingers crossed that they have chosen right this time and finish the course