problems following death of husband

clive12

the son should be ashamed of himself first thing i did when my dad died was make sure my mum was financially ok.

building_with_lego

londonsurrey wrote: »

How about she tell him that she's sorry that it means nothing to him, so she's rewriting it to leave it all to an internet charity group that creates pictures of pretty cakes and sandwiches to gaze at in chat rooms. Or to an animal charity.

Both these groups will be happier with the bequest than the son, and there's no point in putting him in the will if it makes him unhappy.

*memorises the gist of this just in case she needs it in the future*

Savvy_Sue

If dad wanted son to have half the lump sum, you'd have thought he'd have told his wife. Wouldn't you? Or written to the pension provider with that request.

One of Dad's pensions paid out a lump sum to my sister, but she knew, and Mum knew, and we were soon told, that it was intended for all of us, so we all got a share! If it had just been in my sister's name (or my mum's) I would not have dreamed of asking for a share.

Kazz123

Savvy sue that is exactly what she said. That if he'd said that to his he would have written in down and would've told her about it. She's filled out all relevant forms etc for the pensions and there was no mention of him. I helped her fill in these forms and the only time they asked for names of children were if they were still dependents.

barbiedoll

Tell the son to do one, he's just trying it on. :mad:

What about these debts? Were they just in her husband's name? Don't let her be conned into paying off debts that she's not liable for. She should get advice about this, if nothing else.
If she can't afford a solicitor, CAB is free!

londonsurrey

Tell the son like it is. Daddy chose to get a sexy younger wife. Daddy chose not to include son in the pensions. Those are the choices Daddy made.

If the son has a problem with it, he should have harangued Daddy. Does he only feel capable of haranguing widows?

Mojisola

If his father had wanted him to have money - and leave his widow in poverty - he would have written a will leaving it to him.

If his father had lived an average life-span, the son wouldn't have received an inheritance for another 25+ years anyway so he shouldn't have been expecting anything now.

Kazz123

Hello Barbiedoll, the debts were from credit cards that she thought they were no longer using, in both names. There are other things that have just been in her husband's name and have been written off.
I've told her something similar london surrey, that it's not her fault that his dad chose to marry someone a lot younger.
Mojisola, she has said the same to him that if her husband had still been married to his mother or that her husband had lived that he wouldn't have got that money for a good few years anyway. I think she is ringing the pensions today just to clarify in her own mind that her husband hadn't named the son as a nominee. But I've told if that was the case it would have come to light when all the paperwork was being sorted. I'm seeing her today and will show her this thread and I'm sure it will make her feel much better.
Thank you all for you responses.

Kazz123

Just to let you all know I have just had a phone call from friend who, first thing, has phoned the pension companies. Two have told her that there was no option to nominate, the money would always go to the legal spouse. And the third has assured her that no money would have been paid out until all things were checked and that if his son had been nominated then he and her would have been informed and the money split as required. I think has made her feel better in the fact that her husband had ample oppurtunity to put his wishes in writing. I've told her about all your replies and she has asked me to thankyou all for taking the time to post replies. She says she peels more equipped to stand up to her step son if he comes calling again.

paddy's_mum

In her shoes, my conversation with the son would go like this:-

Yes, dear, I shall give you half the lump sum....








...when you pay out your half of the debts Dad left behind him since we're all in this together!