Joint account, recently married

Hooloovoo

seriousDFW wrote: »

Yes, whenever my wife and I buy each other something, we are effectively both paying for it - what difference does it make?! I earn my money not for me to spend, but for our family to spend. At the moment that family is just my wife and I. It does include an agreed amount that we can each spend on 'stuff' that we don't need the other person's permission for. If we buy presents for each other, they go on a credit card which only that person sees, and then gets paid for out of the joint account. Yes we end up knowing how much the other person has spent, but we discuss a general budget anyway. The nice bit of present giving/receiving is the thought that goes into choosing something, how much it cost is completely irrelevant to us, as long as it's within our budget!

I fully accept that system work for you. Great.

But for us, if we used that then quite frankly we'd rather just choose and order our own "presents" since we're paying for them anyway! But then we're both working. I suppose it's different if one is a stay-at-home-parent.

themull1

andymc29 wrote: »

this might sound old fashioned to some, but I think getting married means joining everything, especially your finances. If you're not ready for that, then you shouldn't be getting married. I got married two months ago, and if I didn't think we'd be together till we die then I'd not have done it.

I disagree now i'm older and going through my second divorce, had a joint account with first husband, had to go into branch and cancel my half of account, with second marriage had to cancel joint savings account, i think when everyone gets married they think like you, we'll be together till we die, but a lot of the time life just isn't like that.

I'm never going to be financially linked to anyone again, if you do want a joint account, only get one that needs both signatures to make any withdrawals, that way if things don't work out, one person can't withdraw everything and run.!

seriousDFW

Hooloovoo wrote: »

I fully accept that system work for you. Great.

But for us, if we used that then quite frankly we'd rather just choose and order our own "presents" since we're paying for them anyway! But then we're both working. I suppose it's different if one is a stay-at-home-parent.

I understand different things work for different people. Not sure how both working makes a difference. We both work. I think you've misunderstood. My OH and I still choose and order our own presents, we put them on a credit card in our own name, and so the other person doesn't see where the present has come from. Then the CC gets paid from our joint account.

Surely all of your presents cancel out anyway? i.e. you both buy each other birthday/Christmas/anniversary gifts so you could always use the argument that you may as well buy them yourself?! Your argument has really confused me!

Hooloovoo

seriousDFW wrote: »

Surely all of your presents cancel out anyway? i.e. you both buy each other birthday/Christmas/anniversary gifts so you could always use the argument that you may as well buy them yourself?! Your argument has really confused me!

Yes, you're right. They do cancel out in the end and so it doesn't really make much difference. It just seems to make it worse when the money for your present comes out of an account with your name on it. Irrational I guess, but it just feels daft to me like it isn't even a present any more.

And that's one of the reasons I actually really hate presents!! I'd rather we just agreed a price and both simply bought whatever we wanted! Rather than trying to guess what they would like and end up wasting money.

And don't get me started on gift vouchers! Why buy a voucher for one specific store when you can give someone a "Bank of England" gift voucher that is valid anywhere in the country! But that's for another thread ...