Keeps me strong

Lilbabyspice

Never posted before,bear with me ..........Sometimes I find that things are getting on top of me, I have a disabled son, I have severe arthritis, work and spend a lot of time helping others. I worry about a lot especially my sons health and I feel this was impounded when my wonderful dad died of a brain haemorrhage when my son was two weeks old. I worry about my mum being on my own especially since my lovely grandad passed away over summer from cancer. My husband is wonderful with me, my son and my mum and so supportive and I feel so selfish to say it sometimes all gets me down and I feel so unhappy.
Anyway, I would like to share a poem that keeps me strong. Take care all xx

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this…


When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.


After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."


"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland?" I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy.


But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.


The important thing is that they haven't taken you to some horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.


So you must go out and buy a new guidebook. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.


It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.


But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."


The pain of that will never, ever, go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.


But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Written by Emily Perl Kingsley

stiltwalker

I have a copy of this printed out which I keep in DD's family file, and although it makes me cry it also keeps me strong and reminds me of the good stuff. I have also given it to friends and family to help explain stuff as some friends have no experience of kids with disabilities. There is a follow up one I've come across by someone else called 'Celebrating Holland - I'm Home' by Cathy Anthony - parent, advocate and Executive Director of the Family Support Institute in Vancouver. (It comes up if you Google)

Hugs and best wishes from another resident of 'Holland'

Penny-Pincher!!

Thank you for sharing. Im very disabled and most days struggle with the basic of care and if it wasn't for my wonderful husband and beautiful DD (17) I would have given up a few years ago.

I know each day is a new one, but I know how painful that new day will be even after morphine shots and other meds. I do it for my family.

PP
xx

Lilbabyspice

Thanks Stilwalker looked at this and it was lovely. The poem makes me cry also. Thanks to both of you, it's lovely to share and talk to people who are going through what you are? Love to all xx

Lilbabyspice

Holland is a beautiful place and I would live nowhere else!

bishboshbluebell

I love this poem - I work as a TA in a special needs school and have put it in the staff room. I have a younger (41) Downs Syndrome sister who is a real diamond. Despite all life throws at her - severe psorasis, scoliocis, constant ear and teeth aches and lots more, she remains a real ray of sunshine! Although life can be tough with the many challenges she presents to me and our elderly mum (88), I wouldn't change her for anything. The last line of the poem is so true 'enjoy the very special, lovely things about Holland'. These dark moments pass - stay strong. xxx

ani_26

Thanks Ls x

This poem doesn't have to be limited to those with disabilities. Maybe its open to interpretation. x