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Going around in circles

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  • Hi, again. Your say you've been to your brothers wedding but you are an only child - is he your step brother and are you close. Is there a chance you can confide in him or friends. I'm glad you are going to seek help, I like you suffered for over 15 years with eating disorders and have severe depression, fybromyalgia and MS, but my family carry me through my day and it is 1 day at a time.

    If you open up to your parents, i'm sure they will come around. Most of us carry issues and problems in silence and some people never suffer the trauma of depression and therefore don't understand. If they love you, and i'm sure they do - take the step and tell them everything. I always felt such a failure and had a poor self image and I think I tried to cheer myself up by always wearing something new, like putting on a new person to hide behind - I fully know where you are, take a deep breath and seek help.

    I have another course of counselling starting next week and I am so much better and debt free, apart from mortgage by September 2012. Good Luck.
    Mortgage: Aug 12 £114,984.74 - Jun 14 £94000.00 = Total Payments £20984.74

    Albert Einstein - “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it ... he who doesn't ... pays it.”
  • a1b2
    a1b2 Posts: 9 Forumite
    Hi, again. Your say you've been to your brothers wedding but you are an only child - is he your step brother and are you close. Is there a chance you can confide in him or friends. I'm glad you are going to seek help, I like you suffered for over 15 years with eating disorders and have severe depression, fybromyalgia and MS, but my family carry me through my day and it is 1 day at a time.

    If you open up to your parents, i'm sure they will come around. Most of us carry issues and problems in silence and some people never suffer the trauma of depression and therefore don't understand. If they love you, and i'm sure they do - take the step and tell them everything. I always felt such a failure and had a poor self image and I think I tried to cheer myself up by always wearing something new, like putting on a new person to hide behind - I fully know where you are, take a deep breath and seek help.

    I have another course of counselling starting next week and I am so much better and debt free, apart from mortgage by September 2012. Good Luck.

    Yeah it's my step brother from my dad's first marriage. He is 18 years older than me and we're not really close at all. We live at different ends of the country and don't really have much to do with each other.

    I've started putting down in letter form, a note to my friend. She lives in Ireland so it's a bit of a cop out. But at least If I can put it into words to her, and she reacts okay, I might have the confidence to confide in someone nearer to me, and then possibly my parents. It's just so hard.

    You're doing so well yourself, congrats. I hope someday to be in a similar place.
  • a1b2
    a1b2 Posts: 9 Forumite
    I think getting your head around interest rates will help a lot - why on earth are you using payday loans when you have a capital one card? if you arent behind on your payments, you should still be able to get affordable credit without resorting to those sharks.

    Best of luck getting yourself sorted - I hope you find more supportive people around you soon.


    My Capital One card is maxed out and when I looked online to extend the limit, it says you can't. Apparently they approach you with an updated limit, and you can't request one. Which is why I have resorted to payday loans.

    Thankyou for your support.
  • a1b2
    a1b2 Posts: 9 Forumite
    tallyhoh wrote: »
    As you rent you should only be paying contents insurance so £12 is fairly high.
    I sell stuff on ebay & it pays for the odd trip away or luxury.

    Good luck

    I'll defo have a look, so, and see if I can get that down a bit. Ta!
  • katsu
    katsu Posts: 5,029 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Mortgage-free Glee!
    Does your work have an employee assistance scheme or helpline? These generally offer confidential access to counselling (might be phone but might be some face to face too) and no-one at your work would know if you called them.
    Debt at highest: £8k. Debt Free 31/12/2009. Original MFD May 2036, MF Dec 2018.
  • a1b2
    a1b2 Posts: 9 Forumite
    katsu wrote: »
    Does your work have an employee assistance scheme or helpline? These generally offer confidential access to counselling (might be phone but might be some face to face too) and no-one at your work would know if you called them.

    No, I work in a small office, only 15 of us in total, so I don't think we're big enough to have such a thing unfortunately.

    I've had a look on the Mind website and a lot of other 'help' websites at lunchtime and have saved a few of their phoneline numbers to my phone for moments when I need them.

    I am also going to try and take a week off work the week after next, and get a doctors appointment set up and ask for a refferal for counselling and for help. I can't go on line this, I'm beginning to realise.
  • Hi a1b2, Good for you, but you need some extra money now!. Do you have anything you could sell either on line or in the local paper. Do try gumtree, it's a free sell your stuff web site and it's national. Have a look down the back of your sofa, in old handbags and coat/trouser pockets. I found a twenty pound note under my sofa, I think one of the children posted it between the cushions. Have a good look through wardrobes and do you have any old chairs or furniture maybe. How about old college/uni text books etc.

    Try starting to make that list up of what you have in the cupboards and plan a menu for the rest of the month. Your could take minute noodles to work or soup in a flask. Buy fresh market stew packs and chop up with an oxo cube or similar. Go to the butcher (assuming you eat meat), and ask about cheap cuts of meat. Add to mix and stew, (you can freeze this too). A big bag of cheap oats made with half water and milk is filling for breakfast and dirt cheap, love porrige.

    I know you say your parents don't understand, but if and when you speak to them, explain that you are seeking help and have asked for advice and you want to be happy and you want them and you to love the person you are. The person who is taking control and sorting out their problems and that you hope they can support you. Good Luck.
    Mortgage: Aug 12 £114,984.74 - Jun 14 £94000.00 = Total Payments £20984.74

    Albert Einstein - “Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it ... he who doesn't ... pays it.”
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