Can anyone turn up to a Civil Wedding?

74jax

I know with a church you can just pop along and watch the service, but can you do this with a Civil Wedding too?

Will there be enough seats etc?

MrsDrink

I *think* they can, because a wedding is a public event... but I'm googling to find proper evidence to back up my instinct.

This, though, is my worst nightmare. Our ceremony is very intimate with immediate family only. I will be so majorly !!!!ed off if anyone disregards our wishes and turns up anyway. I would see it as being totally disrespectful and I will probably not speak to that person for a long time. I just keep telling myself people who know us, hopefully respect us enough!!

74jax

MrsDrink wrote: »

I *think* they can, because a wedding is a public event... but I'm googling to find proper evidence to back up my instinct.

This, though, is my worst nightmare. Our ceremony is very intimate with immediate family only. I will be so majorly !!!!ed off if anyone disregards our wishes and turns up anyway. I would see it as being totally disrespectful and I will probably not speak to that person for a long time. I just keep telling myself people who know us, hopefully respect us enough!!

Ah right (sinks down into seat) I hadn't really thought of that (sinks further into seat), so you don't think it would be a good idea? (sinks off seat and onto floor)..............

MrsDrink

Lol what do you mean? You want to turn up to someone elses' ceremony? How well do you know that couple? Have you spoken to the couple? What have they said about the ceremony? Is it intimate and low key? Their number of invited guests will be restricted based on the number of seats (our registry office holds 40) On what grounds would you want to view it? Would it be to protest and say they shouldn't marry?

(Oh and I'm right - see Part 15 last bullet point http://www.surreycc.gov.uk/people-and-community/birth-death-marriage-and-civil-partnerships/marriage/licensing-premises-for-civil-ceremonies/terms-and-conditions-for-granting-a-licence-for-civil-ceremonies)

*edit*
Just to say though - just because I would hate it, and everyone I've spoken to about the wedding knows I would hate it, doesn't mean every other couple would be the same.

antrobus

74jax wrote: »

I know with a church you can just pop along and watch the service, but can you do this with a Civil Wedding too?

Will there be enough seats etc?

Yes. By law the public must have unfettered access to witness any marriage. Somebody, after all, might want to raise an objection.

74jax

MrsDrink wrote: »

Lol what do you mean? You want to turn up to someone elses' ceremony? yes, sorry wasn't explained well, one of my closest friends How well do you know that couple? we've been neighbours for 11 years, daughters grown up together and 'were' very close until she met her H2B about 10 months ago Have you spoken to the couple? just to say i wasn't going to the day time but would be going to the night time What have they said about the ceremony? Is it intimate and low key? H2B is allowing her 4 guests to the 'day time' I don't know if this is in regards to who he wants to actually watch them 'get married' or in regards to people to pay for a meal for,. Their number of invited guests will be restricted based on the number of seats (our registry office holds 40) On what grounds would you want to view it? Would it be to protest and say they shouldn't marry? oh lordy no, although I've always wanted to burst into a church saying STOP THE WEDDING, look around and go 'whoops sorry wrong church' :rotfl:

It's a follow on from my post number 1784 on the Bridezilla thread, (I don't know how to post a link to a post, not thread)


Yeah, maybe I should just leave it and turn up to the night time, I just can't imagine not seeing her get married. But you're right, I did turn down the day time part, so maybe shouldn't go.

MrsDrink

Ah but then that is different just to throw a spanner in the works... she invited you to the day event therefore I presume part of that was attendance at the ceremony. (Where as we're not inviting ANYONE to the 'day do' other than immediate family only)

(Link to your post: http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=50882079&postcount=1784)

Are you two still close since you turned down the day invite? Perhaps you could have a heart to heart over a cup of coffee? Tell her that you respect her desire to have a small wedding and that meant only you were invited, but you would still love to have the opportunity to see her get married and then join her for the celebrations later that night?

MrsDrink

How to link to specific posts...
* Find the post you want to link to.
* Click on the post number (will open that post up in a new window on it's own)
* Copy the web adress from that window
* Paste the web address in your post.

MrsDrink

And you wrote on 1792 (http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=50901071&postcount=1792)

"I am going to decline the day invitation as I will not know anyone other than the bride, her mum and brother, and will struggle with the mingling, the meal, being in a room of people I do not know. I will however ask her if I can go and see her get married, as this after all is the main part and would love to see her married."
(My emphasis)

Did you ever have that conversation? x

74jax

MrsDrink wrote: »

Are you two still close since you turned down the day invite? Perhaps you could have a heart to heart over a cup of coffee? Tell her that you respect her desire to have a small wedding and that meant only you were invited, but you would still love to have the opportunity to see her get married and then join her for the celebrations later that night?

Not really been close since H2B came on the scene, he likes 'family life' and so I don't really see her any more.

Whereas we were always in each others houses and our daughters inseparable, I think the last time I saw her properly was before Christmas.

However, she is extremely happy and very excited about get married, so I think maybe I should just leave it and go to the night do as planned. I thought I might be able to sit discreetly at the back and watch, but like has been mentioned it will only be a small room and I don't want the H2B to mention it to her on her wedding day.

MrsDrink wrote: »

And you wrote on 1792 (http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=50901071&postcount=1792)

"I am going to decline the day invitation as I will not know anyone other than the bride, her mum and brother, and will struggle with the mingling, the meal, being in a room of people I do not know. I will however ask her if I can go and see her get married, as this after all is the main part and would love to see her married."
(My emphasis)

Did you ever have that conversation? x

No, whenever I've gone round it hasn't been an appropriate time and I have just been 'uncomfortable' with asking.

MrsDrink

Mmm if it was me, knowing how close we were once, I would want to have that conversation. Despite the husband being 'family orientated' could you sneak her out for a coffee sometime?
I do agree though - if they are having a small day do they will probably notice you sneaking in the back. I hope I'd notice some random (not that you are) person sat in our ceremony.
I really hope you manage to find a solution to this Ajax, I do find it sad ((hugs))