Church wedding questions :)

Lavendyr

With the caveat to ALL the answers below being that you need to speak to a) the churchwarden/s and/or b) the church administrator to get the answers you need...

scrumpy78 wrote: »

1) are you having a choir / organist / cd playing? Our church has a 3 person choir and a terrible keyboard player so we are trying to work out do we pay for an independent choir/singers/organist or will a cd through the sound system work?

If there is an organ and you know an organist, you should be able to bring one in. For most churches there will be a basic fee for getting married in the church ( I am presuming for some reason that you are getting married in a CoE church so apologies if this is wrong), and everything else - musician, choir, flowers, bells etc is an optional extra.

scrumpy78 wrote: »

2) we want modern (take that) songs for our 3 main songs so these would have to be cd or we pay an organist pianist to learn them? Will cd sound ok?

You could probably do either but would depend on the sound system. However do use tact in requesting this - usually the vicar of the church wants the music and/or readings to have a religious slant but you may find some flexibility in this depending on who you are dealing with.

scrumpy78 wrote: »

3) do u have to have religious hymns or can we have a beatles song as our "hymn"

If it's not religious I don't think it's classed as a hymn! Again totally depends on who you are dealing with and their views on what is and isn't acceptable in the church. The churchwardens or other lay people involved in running the church in the absence of a vicar will be the ones to speak to.

scrumpy78 wrote: »

4) what readings are you having and who is doing them?

We had two Bible readings from the New Testament. One was read by my chief bridesmaid and the other was read by a good friend of my hubby.

scrumpy78 wrote: »

5) how many songs do u need to have to fill the time of the register signing?

You need around 7 mins in total I'd say, which obviously is dependent on how many photos you have during the signing of the register. We didn't have very many. But at least 2 songs would be a good idea.

scrumpy78 wrote: »

6) where are you putting flowers in the church?

We were so lucky to be absolutely spoilt by our florist, who was the church flower arranger and absolutely outdid herself for us. We had pew ends all down the church, flowers around the font, two pedestals at the front. As we got married just after easter we also had the benefit of all the Easter flowers in the windowsills and at the altar which was lovely

scrumpy78 wrote: »

7) are you having photos outside the church, or outside the reception venue?

Our reception venue was a restaurant so there weren't many photo opportunities there. However the church had some beautiful green/leafy areas outside so we had most of ours there. They took around 45 mins. Then our whole wedding party - around 70 of us - walked from the church to the reception (just down the high street!) and the guests went into the courtyard for drinks and canapes while we had a few more shots - mocking up the cutting of the cake and toasts for instance.

Hope that helps

wanchai_2

Can't comment on CofE. But most Catholic churches won't allow any pop music at weddings. They will allow instrumental classical music, and of course many hymns are classical. To me, that's totally fine. It is a church, after all! And there are some amazingly beautiful hymns and classical pieces that you could have.

At the risk of offending (I don't mean to), why *are* you getting married in a church? If you're not a regular churchgoer, the vicar will probably ask you this, so best to prepare a reply!

The readings must also be religious. So the lyrics of a song would not be allowed AFAIK. Can't you save the Take That/Beatles songs etc for the reception?

wanchai_2

violagirl wrote: »

It depends of course whereabouts you are but my friend had a string quartet play for her. Try elysiastringquartet.co.uk they do Bach or Beatles,they were fab. It was in the Lake District a couple of weeks ago.

Please stop spamming, it's so blatantly obvious.

PinkPrincess83

Wanchai- Op has already said she is a regular church go-er and attends church once a week.

I think that because churches seem to vary from church to church about what you can have and what is acceptable you are best off speaking with the church that the you are getting married at. A friend of mine got married in a c of e church and had one religious and one non religious reading (it wasnt a song but if your allowed non religious readings I cant see why a song cant be done as a reading, as long as it is suitable obviously and not offensive or anything!!:D)

daisiegg

We're getting married in a Catholic Church and all readings and music have to be religious. This makes sense to me....you aren't allowed any readings or music that are remotely religious in a registry office ceremony, so why should you have non-religious readings/music in a Church wedding? Surely the point of having it in the church is the religious stuff?

wanchai_2

PinkPrincess83 wrote: »

Wanchai- Op has already said she is a regular church go-er and attends church once a week.

I think that because churches seem to vary from church to church about what you can have and what is acceptable you are best off speaking with the church that the you are getting married at. A friend of mine got married in a c of e church and had one religious and one non religious reading (it wasnt a song but if your allowed non religious readings I cant see why a song cant be done as a reading, as long as it is suitable obviously and not offensive or anything!!:D)

Ooops, sorry, I only read post #1 and not the later one! I thought that she sounded like an irregular churchgoer - I assumed that otherwise she would know that only religious readings/music would be allowed. I knew that before I started planning our wedding. :rotfl: But, as I say, I didn't read her later post where she said that she does go weekly.

Anyhoo, didn't mean to offend, sorry

wanchai_2

scrumpy78 wrote: »

Oooh a bit harsh! Everyone has their own views but why post on a thread if you can't post something constructive? I am having religious readings, and as a weekly church goer I believe in marrying in a church. As regards hymns, I have personal issues with some of the traditional hymns in that they bring back memories of a bad time at a church school, bullying etc where such hymns were sung daily as part of assembly, assemblys being a difficult time of the day for me.

This is the post that I missed! OK, so those hymns with bad memories would obviously be out, but you could find some new ones, maybe even ones that you haven't heard before, so no bad associations? Add in some classical pieces (if allowed) and you're done! xxx

katie1812

scrumpy78 wrote: »

Hi all, we are having a church wedding, OH uncle is a vicar and is marrying us in our local church. We are trying to sort out readings songs etc and have a couple of questions
1) are you having a choir / organist / cd playing? Our church has a 3 person choir and a terrible keyboard player so we are trying to work out do we pay for an independent choir/singers/organist or will a cd through the sound system work?

We are having a choir of around 10-12 people, we think it will encourage the guests to sing! Have been to weddings with and without and with is definitely better in our opinion. Before I arrive, we are having a string quartet CD and for our hymns we are having the church organist.

2) we want modern (take that) songs for our 3 main songs so these would have to be cd or we pay an organist pianist to learn them? Will cd sound ok?

Think its a bit cheeky asking the organist to learn 'pop songs' but you never know unless you ask! I understand your unhappiness at having religious songs... We are not regular church goers but I do think if you are getting married in a venue like that then you need to sort of respect that and have some sort of religious moment in the service! Bit pointless otherwise, might as well have gone to a register office.

3) do u have to have religious hymns or can we have a beatles song as our "hymn"

Have no idea! Sorry!

4) what readings are you having and who is doing them?

We are having the traditional Corinthians reading. Something people know and can relate to, is also religious and find it very true. We struggled finding one person to do it so having the vicar read it. Then there can be no family bickers!

5) how many songs do u need to have to fill the time of the register signing?
Two apparently... The signing lasts around 7 minutes.

6) where are you putting flowers in the church?

Just on every other pew end. Something to give it a bit of colour, and not too expensive. Also going to give them to family members after as a gift, and lay on family graves.

7) are you having photos outside the church, or outside the reception venue?

Both. You need to have some pictures of where you actually took youur vows.....

Thanks all!

My first time quoting so no idea if its worked!

MrsShawToBe

The whole point of an church wedding is saying your vows in front of God. You could have no songs at all, but the meaning is in the words that you say to each other in front of God.

I am not a regular church go-er but am getting married in a church. I have been christened and whilst I don't go weekly, I attend at Xmas etc, and it means a lot to my Dad's family as they are really religious.

Everyone has their own views on getting married where they do, its a personal choice.

Tiara_2

This is not always the case. We are getting married in a CoE church, and we have to have 1 religious reading but can have as many non-religious readings as we like as long as they don't contradict each other. The vicar has also encouraged us to pick music for my entrance and the signing of the register that means something special to us, and is all for us having cheesy pop if that is what we want

wanchai wrote: »

Ooops, sorry, I only read post #1 and not the later one! I thought that she sounded like an irregular churchgoer - I assumed that otherwise she would know that only religious readings/music would be allowed. I knew that before I started planning our wedding. :rotfl: But, as I say, I didn't read her later post where she said that she does go weekly.

Anyhoo, didn't mean to offend, sorry