Church wedding questions :)

scrumpy78

Hi all, we are having a church wedding, OH uncle is a vicar and is marrying us in our local church. We are trying to sort out readings songs etc and have a couple of questions
1) are you having a choir / organist / cd playing? Our church has a 3 person choir and a terrible keyboard player so we are trying to work out do we pay for an independent choir/singers/organist or will a cd through the sound system work?
2) we want modern (take that) songs for our 3 main songs so these would have to be cd or we pay an organist pianist to learn them? Will cd sound ok?
3) do u have to have religious hymns or can we have a beatles song as our "hymn"
4) what readings are you having and who is doing them?
5) how many songs do u need to have to fill the time of the register signing?
6) where are you putting flowers in the church?
7) are you having photos outside the church, or outside the reception venue?

Thanks all!

ellay864

Well with having a vicar in the family surely it'll be easier to just ask him what's allowed! Different vicars in different churches have their own rules, and also he'll know the logisitics of what will work. So if you want CDs he can tell you what sort of facility they have to play them and let you hear the sound quality in advance
I don't see why you couldn't have Take That on CD - personally if it's a song by them I like, I wouldn't necessarily want to hear somebody else singing it, I assume it's the recording you like. At a recent funeral they had CDs playing Green Day and Snow Patrol so that isn't an issue, but not all buildings have decent sound systems for that.
At my non-church wedding we had 2 readings that my son and a friend did. I just went online to find one for my son - it's called The Key to Love. And my friend wrote a personal one for us. Have a look around and there's loads and of course you can have religios ones if you want, though there shouldn't be any obligation to.
At my first church wedding we didn;t do much in the way of flowers in the church as we didn't want to spend the money on those when there was other things far more important to us. But again, ask OHs uncle as he may be able to recommend somewheer that won't charge rip-off wedding process. And photos will depend on your own preference. We had some in the church but more outside as it had gorgeous grounds and better light. That will also depend on your photographer - make sure he sees the building beforehand and let him advise

scrumpy78

Thanks it's a complicated one as it isn't the uncles church, he's from a different area, and our vicar has been suspended! So there's a whole set of people to ask! Ur answer made me realise that it is take that's singing I want, as a choir might not do the songs justice. I'm walking down the aisle to Rule the world, the signing Of register song is The Garden, and we want to walk out to Hold up a light. Can't wait!

double_mummy

scrumpy78 wrote: »

I'm walking down the aisle to Rule the world,

me 2 :T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

mildred1978

scrumpy78 wrote: »

Thanks it's a complicated one as it isn't the uncles church, he's from a different area, and our vicar has been suspended! So there's a whole set of people to ask! Ur answer made me realise that it is take that's singing I want, as a choir might not do the songs justice. I'm walking down the aisle to Rule the world, the signing Of register song is The Garden, and we want to walk out to Hold up a light. Can't wait!

:silenced:

mildred1978

Why have a church wedding if you want to strip out all the religious readings and music in favour of trashy pop?

ellay864

mildred1978 wrote: »

Why have a church wedding if you want to strip out all the religious readings and music in favour of trashy pop?

Bit harsh on TT but I think I know where you're coming from. But that's a subject worthy of threads in its own right and has been done a lot on here already. Whatever your personal views there are many couples marry in church who are not Christians or churchgoers so probably not fair to hang OP out for that one as she certainly won't be alone.
OP - you may want to check though on what your church will allow. Presumably your OH's uncle will allow certain things, especially as he's family but there still may be restrictions you have to follow. Personally I would like to think a church does insist on some religious aspect to mark where it is taking place, but that's just my own view. My church wedding did have religious aspects but my own beliefs have since changed, hence me going for a civil ceremony for my second

scrumpy78

Oooh a bit harsh! Everyone has their own views but why post on a thread if you can't post something constructive? I am having religious readings, and as a weekly church goer I believe in marrying in a church. As regards hymns, I have personal issues with some of the traditional hymns in that they bring back memories of a bad time at a church school, bullying etc where such hymns were sung daily as part of assembly, assemblys being a difficult time of the day for me.

Naf

mildred1978 wrote: »

Why have a church wedding if you want to strip out all the religious readings and music in favour of trashy pop?

ellay864 wrote: »

Bit harsh on TT but I think I know where you're coming from... Whatever your personal views there are many couples marry in church who are not Christians or churchgoers so probably not fair to hang OP out for that one as she certainly won't be alone.

It is harsh, but at the same time kinda right. if you are religious, then you'd surely want to include it - being rather central to the whole ordinance. If you're not religious then the only reason to want a church wedding would seem to be for show (or appearances); which is rather disrespectful. But that's really up to the church if they want to just allow it, despite the apparent hypocrisy and mockery.

As to the OPs problem; agreed its best to talk to the people who actually make the decisions - there's a lot of jurisdiction given to the local minister to decide on these. Even in the denomination I attend (which is quite specific as to what is/isn't allowed) and with my dad as the local minister at the time (very strict as to following said guidelines) a couple were allowed to play Celine Dion over the CD system. My sister managed to get The Muppets - Rainbow Connection into hers, although had my dad been presiding then, I'm not sure if she would have succeeded.
Best of luck working it out. One way around some of it would be taking some of the song lyrics you want and having them as a reading - just as a poem might be used.

And congrats :j:beer::A

ellay864

Sorry OP, I wasn't intending to suggest you were a non-churchgoer, you'd not said anything to make that obvious one way or the other. My comment was more to the other post and I was pointing out that there are many non-churchgoers on this forum marrying in a church, so using this thread to have a go at you wasn't fair.
Personally I do like TT and also think that being a church-goer shouldn't mean you can't also have some 'fun' with your music. Have you looked at other hymns? I don't know what your church is like but while some places do play a lot of the old ones, there are some lovely more modern hymns that wouldn't bring back the school memories.

JCS1

As the vicar has been suspended, then you should be able to talk to one of the churchwardens - or if the church is in a parish with others, one of the other vicars.