Son/daughter going to uni in September 2012. What do we need to buy?

robpw2

i am going to buck from the trend of giving things you should buy
Your son and your daughter are now at an age where they need to start thinking and doing thingd for themselves so let them do it .
when they get to halls they will soon realise what they need and it starts them on the ball of buying things for themselves , budgeting and growing up

poet123

robpw2 wrote: »

i am going to buck from the trend of giving things you should buy
Your son and your daughter are now at an age where they need to start thinking and doing thingd for themselves so let them do it .
when they get to halls they will soon realise what they need and it starts them on the ball of buying things for themselves , budgeting and growing up

And most of them do, all mine have done so, but as parents we want them to have a good start, not to have to worry about the basics when they are starting out on a new and sometimes worrying road. That is human nature and you will never get most parents dropping a child off at uni without a carfull of "essentials" to see them through the first few weeks. After that they have to stand on their own two feet (aside from what we termed the monthly fridge raid when they emptied my fridge before going back to uni!!) and most of them manage very well.

Doing the above doesn't negate or delay any of the aspects of life you detail, it is an adjunct to it.

Voyager2002

robpw2 wrote: »

i am going to buck from the trend of giving things you should buy
Your son and your daughter are now at an age where they need to start thinking and doing thingd for themselves so let them do it .
when they get to halls they will soon realise what they need and it starts them on the ball of buying things for themselves , budgeting and growing up

I agree with your central point, but at the time they start university most students will not know what things ought to cost, nor have skills in shopping and finding value for money. Therefore, this is one area where the kind of experience that parents have should be made available to students-to-be.

Anubis_2

robpw2 wrote: »

i am going to buck from the trend of giving things you should buy
Your son and your daughter are now at an age where they need to start thinking and doing thingd for themselves so let them do it .
when they get to halls they will soon realise what they need and it starts them on the ball of buying things for themselves , budgeting and growing up

As generally they don't have any money to start them off (certainly not enough to cover what is needed) then as a parent I see nothing wrong in helping them get their "bottom drawer" together.

They are soon left on their own to learn about budgeting once the essentials have been sorted. This time last year my son had no care for the price of eggs, and now he often tells me where he got all his food and essential bargains from

Nothing wrong with starting them off, we even send food parcels of rice/pasta etc now and again just to help (about £20 worth or so every couple of months)

I would do exactly the same if he was not at Uni and living elsewhere - I would help out in the small ways that I can, if I am able to, no matter where he is.

Caroline_a

robpw2 wrote: »

i am going to buck from the trend of giving things you should buy
Your son and your daughter are now at an age where they need to start thinking and doing thingd for themselves so let them do it .
when they get to halls they will soon realise what they need and it starts them on the ball of buying things for themselves , budgeting and growing up

I'm afraid I totally agree with this. My daughter went off to uni in catered halls with her clothes, bedding and her sports gear and laptop (etc). After the end of the first year it took 3 carloads to get her home. They gather stuff whilst at uni... lots of it.. and so much is rubbish! However, if she needed anything in the way of household stuff she went to £ shops or the cheapies in the town and found out for herself. If you buy them everything they will never learn to budget - remember they will get a big loan cheque in the first few days. If you've bought all they need then how easy will that be to blow on rubbish....

Anubis_2

Caroline_a wrote: »

I'm afraid I totally agree with this. My daughter went off to uni in catered halls with her clothes, bedding and her sports gear and laptop (etc). After the end of the first year it took 3 carloads to get her home. They gather stuff whilst at uni... lots of it.. and so much is rubbish! However, if she needed anything in the way of household stuff she went to £ shops or the cheapies in the town and found out for herself. If you buy them everything they will never learn to budget - remember they will get a big loan cheque in the first few days. If you've bought all they need then how easy will that be to blow on rubbish....

By catered do you mean meals provided?

If so, it's not the same as when meals are not provided, they need, at the very least, bedding, pans, cups and cutlery to go in with, plus some food. Everything else they accumulate over time.

poet123

To be honest I don't think that catered halls teaches them that much in the way of budgeting either. Much like living at home in fact where meals magically appear and don't need to be shopped for or cooked or budgeted for.

Anubis_2

poet123 wrote: »

To be honest I don't think that catered halls teaches them that much in the way of budgeting either. Much like living at home in fact where meals magically appear and don't need to be shopped for or cooked or budgeted for.

I'm of the same opinion, it teaches them nothing at all. I am glad my son has to manage his budget to include groceries and cook for himself. He has learned so much and has become very adept at budgeting!

Anubis_2

Caroline_a wrote: »

remember they will get a big loan cheque in the first few days. If you've bought all they need then how easy will that be to blow on rubbish....

Hmmm....I am not sure how your daughters Finances have worked, but my son certainly could not blow his loan on rubbish!

For one thing, when it went in his bank, within a couple of days his accommodation expenses were taken out. His course fees where paid as part of the loan so he didn't see that money either.

He had about £400 to £500 left to last him from September to Jan to budget for all his food, clothes, washing, and toiletries and course books and anything else he needed. His books cost £140, so I put some to for him.

At Christmas he was left with nothing - he couldn't even afford a pen. He has not been able to "blow" any of his money :eek:

ETA: he has a weekend job now thankfully, he had one before Uni but had to transfer to another town and had to wait quite a few weeks before a transfer spot came up in the place he works. Without that job he would now be struggling.

spadoosh

My first day at uni involved shiftly avoiding eye contact with any of my neigbours, missing the introduction session, parents going back home, me staring at a crate of fosters, me opening can of fosters thinking 'well this is the first time ive had to drink on my own', me opening second can starting to feel real sorry for myself, knock at door from student rep saying 'you going out tonight?', me responding yes and then the rest of the week was a haze. Though i do remember at no point in freshers week did i once worry that i didnt have a spatula (i didnt have one :O!!).

Relax theyll be fine!

And if all else fails wilkos is your friend.