DFW Book - How Do You Admit You Can't Buy A Round?

Former_MSE_Sue

Hi everyone - another section for the book and help needed.....

So what do you say to this one? What do you say when you need to turn down the offer of lunchtime drinks in the pub, friends suggesting an (expensive!) meal out etc or any other social event that's likely to cost serious cash.....

If anyone's got a standard 'excuse', phrase or answer, whether funny/serious etc they're happy to share that would be great and help others get round the awkwardness or what to say when you're put on the spot etc.

thanks loads Sue

"What is the DFW Book? A Quick Note From Martin. This forum is a massive wealth of positive information that helps so many people, its crying out to have a book written about it. As such Sue is helping me compile DFW the book. The aim is for it to be split 50/50 with half written by me, which will explain the techniques for managing and dealing with debt; and half coming from this forum with 'living with debt' real stories to help, inspire and educate.

Sue Hayward (MSE Sue) is a consumer finance journalist who is compiling the Forum stuff for me for the book. In case you're wondering where the money will go, to be honest I havent decided yet. Thrifty Ways was written totally off the Old Style forum, so I donated all my proceeds to the MSE Charitable fund; as this book is half/half I haven't decided whether I will donate half or all of the proceeds - but it will definitely be at least half. Please do help if you can - this book should reach many people who can't get to the site, and your one quote could just be their lightbulb moment."

Skint_Catt

'On a diet'

therefore only drinking mineral water/diet coke or eating kiddies meal/soup. Most friends wouldn't make me split the bill as I'd had so little, so paying for own works out cheaper!

hypno06

Goodness, in the past I think I have used every excuse going, when I am expected to go out for a meal/bowling/cinema and can't afford to go:

- feeling ill at the last minute (migraine is a good one)
- one of the children falling ill
- puncture on the car

For lunch/lunchtime drinks I used to tell the others to head down to the bar etc and I will follow just as soon as I have made a couple of urgent phone calls. Of course, these phone calls result in really urgent work that just can't wait until after lunch.....

Being on a diet has worked for me in the past as an excuse. Don't want to put temptation of my way now, do we!! Don't want to undo all the good weightloss work I have done by going to this fab restaurant and eating too much!!

Thankfully, my really close friends now know my situation and I am able to say, "sorry, can't afford it at the mo" but others are not aware, so get a fib, or an excuse.

Pink_butterfly_3

Theres always the excuse of 'I'm on anti-biotics so i'm not allowed to drink'.

I'm not sure how long you can keep that one going for though, before people start to think theres something seriously wrong with you!!

nevadagirl

'am staying at bf's tonight so can't stay out long/turn up too tipsy'

This is true, but also stops me from spending more money. Plus if I say I can't be out too late, we can arrange to go for pre-theatre and it works out less for all of us. Most of my friends I can just be honest with, though, and say I'm on a tight budget, as we're all pretty much in the same boat.

Another good one for work is 'why don't we order in pizza at lunchtime instead of going out for drinks?' as a few people in our team have commitments after work and can't go to the pub. We get takeaway from the pizza place downstairs and because we do it quite often, they throw in a few freebies. It comes to about £4 (as opposed to £10 in the kitty for after work drinks) for as much pizza as we can eat, or more than we really should be eating :beer: Plus as far as the boss is concerned, it's teambuilding but we can still cover the phones

When I really don't have any money, and don't want to admit it, the excuse of having to be somewhere ridiculously early the next morning is a good one, too.

betti911

Again dieting usually works for me or have too much work. Sometimes I even make up a family birthday now.

bananakinz

If its Jan/Feb/June/July - got to save those last pennies as tax is due (both se), common one is can't get a babysitter for kids. Close friends get the truth - we're skint lol

KatrinaC_2

Luckily, I have friends who are very understanding and will accept "sorry, I can't, I'm broke". Most of my friends are either now or have been in that position themselves and will take that as an answer with no questions asked.

Kat

KatrinaC_2

Sorry - Double post...

Kat

scootw1

I just tell them no, no excuses just simply no, I don't want to.

When you do go out, don't go in rounds. Someone always gets stung for more expensive drinks. Just buy your own so YOU control your budget not THEM

CAFCGirl

I've brought my own in (lunch)

I've given up drinking, pubs are too tempting for me at the mo, slight indication of alcoholism but I can live with it (drinks)

Anything else I'm just flatly honest, I dont have the money, cant afford it, I've got debts people!

May as well be honest about it, that way I dont actually feel any shame because its the gods honest truth and if other people cant accept it then thats their problem, and if they cant, it generally indicates they're in even more debt than I am!