Going back to court to get more time - LO will be 13!

lepetit

Hi,

Just looking for some advice and tips from maybe those have been there.

We went to court in 2010 about getting more time with my fiance's LO (son he was 11 at the time). We were successful and went from 1 night a week and holidays when she felt like letting us have them, birthdays when it suited her too - 3 nights a week, half of all holidays and birthdays equally shared etc all set out in court order plus a shared residence. So it was great - the LO had ideally wanted exactly equal and slightly more time with us but I'm unsure if CAFCASS were willing to allow him to go from the majority of time with his mum to the opposite plus the mother was allowed to meddle in a CAFCASS appointment which intimidated the LO.

So we have always left it open - ensured a Final Order was never set out and there was clause in the contact order stating either party could restore the matter to court if LO wished.

So LO is now about to turn 13 (in May) and after still spending the last year complaining about how boring the time is with his mother etc he's decided he'd like another night a week with us.

So we will look to restore the matter to court soon but I'd like to know how we should start it? I know about the C1 and that we should let her solicitor know before we put in C1 to see if they will change it out of court (high unlikely!).
I've also heard that when a child is 13 - a teenager the way they are treated in the court system and by CAFCASS changes - is that a myth or will him being 13 mean what he wants goes and it will be simpler and faster?

Oh and also when we went to court the first time we didn't have a solicitor or barrister my fiance did it all himself obviously with my help behind the scenes but he stood in court etc on his own. And we would be doing it this way again.

Thanks for any help and advice!

tanith

Having had custody issues with some of my grandchildren I'd just say that in kids eyes the grass is always greener... and they do love to play one off against the other.. if time is now equal between you and things are relatively peaceful then I would ask why rock the boat?.. teens change their minds at the drop of a hat and he more than likely will be bored at yours before the years out..
Its just what I have observed over 10 yrs of tooings and froings of my grandchildren between parents... in 3 or 4 years he'll be too busy with friends/girlfriends to bother at all . As he gets older he'll realise how difficult the whole thing is very everyone concerned

marywooyeah

lepetit wrote: »

Hi,

So we will look to restore the matter to court soon but I'd like to know how we should start it? I know about the C1 and that we should let her solicitor know before we put in C1 to see if they will change it out of court (high unlikely!).
I've also heard that when a child is 13 - a teenager the way they are treated in the court system and by CAFCASS changes - is that a myth or will him being 13 mean what he wants goes and it will be simpler and faster?

Oh and also when we went to court the first time we didn't have a solicitor or barrister my fiance did it all himself obviously with my help behind the scenes but he stood in court etc on his own. And we would be doing it this way again.

Thanks for any help and advice!

ok firstly you can vary a Court Order by agreement, by the other party is unlikely to agree you are bound to return to Court over this.

the "13 myth" that you are referring to is known as "Gillick competence" - there's no set age, varies from child to child, but when a child is able to express their own views/feelings the Court can take these into account. you have a CAFCASS officer involved - has he/she carried out a "Wishes and feelings report" with the child? this could be used in proceedings to persuade the Court that it is in the child's best interests to have more contact with your fiance and yourself.

Your fiance is of course able to represent himself again, but it would be very helpful for him to consult more with the Guardian to ascertain whether or not they would be supporting a further night a week with you.

good luck!

lepetit

Thanks for your replies and whilst I understand that you may think he is just a 'typical child' changing his mind at the drop of a hat etc etc - we, those you know him well know he is certianly not your typical 12/13 year old and is much mature than his age.

The time is not equal he spends 3 nights with us each week and 4 with his mother.

This also means he has been forced to go to a secondary school away from his hometown (as his mother moved away by 10 miles) and because she has slightly more time her address is still considered his main address despite the shared residence order. LO would like to be able to change schools back to his hometown and where his friends are he has known since age 4. In order to have any option of doing this the LO would need spend more time with us.

We will notify her of our intentions before we submit the C1 to court because we have to show the court we tried to resolve it outside of court but I would say its a sure thing that she will not even entertain the idea.