an attempt at an SOA, doesnt look bad but still in debt.... please help

misspoppy

What about moving your family to be near your work? It sounds like a fresh start would be a good idea. Presumably your daughter will be wanting to go to uni soon and so this will prompt a discussion about the horse and where the family home is located.

yorkshirejen

Hello!

I agree that a spending diary would be a good idea to try to get a rein on your spending. You will probably find you could well be spending the remainder of your joint account money in the supermarket - after working out an average supermarket spend based on bank statements (ie - not including the cash spends!) ours came to an average of £:eek: :eek: , so bad I dare not even admit it! I was able to cut this down immediately just by being aware of what I was doing!

You mentioned that there may be other things missed off your SOA - I wonder if you have any other insurance payments as £8 monthly for 2 adults with 2 mortgages and children seems low (or a bargain!)?

I hope you can get some help from the good advice of previous posters and not feel too badly about being "dissected"! This is a friendly board and no one will be judging you

Best of Luck
Jen

aah

Thanks Jen, I posted a half-budget for the 1400 I put into household expenses. We pay around 45 for b&c insurance, not much - about £16 for mortgage protection insurances and have NO life insurance, we have good pension plans with work...

I do feel a wee bit dissected especially cos I feel quite guilty earning a reasonable amount and having two "no-go" areas - the horse and moving nearer work.... as you'll probably see my having to work away is not through choice, I like the job but I couldn't bear to move me, OH or family from our home area....


But thanks to friendly posts like yours, and I am determined to reduce these debts, I'm sure it'll work; every one of us is - or has been - in the same boat; its amazing how many of us there are...

pmr x

Crown

Hi, Some excellent advice has already been offered although I am wondering if you have actually sat down with your partner and discussed the matter properly?

It is near impossible for only one member of a family to try and life a DFW lifestyle and the other person going on oblivious to the problem. Everyone needs to be pulling in the same direction or must at least be made aware of the situation.

If you are increasing your overdraft regularly you are skating on thin ice. The banks can and will revoke your overdraft without a second thought. I have learnt this from experience when they suddenly gave me 28 days to repay the 5K overdraft I had with them.

It didnt matter that my salary was still being paid into the account it just happened and this caused all sorts of trouble as my salary then got "swallowed". Please do not fall into the same trap.

Well done on taking the step to sort this out and all the best of luck with it.

i1189

Could you get a sharer for the horse? I used to have a sharer when I had a horse and got £20 per week when he was on part livery - that was ages ago though so you could probably get a bit more. The sharer would only need to ride a few times each week. Or there is working livery - the agricultural college near me do this and their pupils are all good riders (not like working livery in a riding school). They have excellent facilities and the horses are only used on weekdays leaving the horse for you to ride at weekends.

Is the flat big enough for you to get a flatmate? You could get someone living there to help pay the bills and if you got someone trustworthy you would also have the security of someone living there when you're at home.

CLAPTON

clearly the work situation makes a big difference to the overall view of your options.

it seems that in some respects your major problem is the whole family's expectation that your family should be able to afford most things as your family income is way above the average.

maybe it would be helpful if you worked out the real cost of working away (mortgage, council tax, utilities, extra food, petrol, incidentals) and discussed this with the family... maybe presenting it as the equivalent 'reduction' in your salary and so re-educate the expectations that theres loads of money in a more modest one. I can't work it out with the figures given but its probably equivalent to at least 10k in pre tax income, so maybe think income of 34k rather than 44k.

angelavdavis

aah wrote:

I do feel a wee bit dissected especially cos I feel quite guilty earning a reasonable amount

No one here is judging you aah, only you know how much your previous situation affected you and you have every right to your lifestyle.

Five years ago, I walked out from my job paying me over £5k per month due to a c**p boss. Effectively it was constructive dismissal. In the end, I sold my house and cashed in the equity on the house - moving to the South Coast to change my lifestyle. It has taken me all this time to really get over the nonsense.

At the time, people thought I was barmy leaving my job, but I was so unhappy it was such a relief to go. I took a job paying less than half the salary which tied me over until last year when I left and got another better paying job.

Everyone here means well, even if we sometimes come across as a bit strict!!!

The advice here is all sound -

1) Look at the real cost of the flat and house outgoings. If the flat expenses are outstripping the £10k difference in salary, you might need to review how you can reduce the costs.
2) Look at areas where you can cut back - even if it means going without for a couple of months to just give yourself some breather time.
3) Do your family have anything they can eBay - make it a family effort. This will help lower the smaller debts and/or write off the overdraft.
4) Get the family onboard for moneysaving! Set a budget for you/OH every week and review it when you are home to ensure you are sticking to it. Ensure you list out everything - mobile spend, pocket money, socialising, dvd rental, etc.
5) Try storecupboard challenges when you are home - see if you can clear the freezer and storecupboard of their contents - Old stylers will help you in thinking of recipes. This doesn't just apply to food. Try to use up all the toiletries, etc in the house before buying new.
6) Future-proof the veg in the fridge(!). I chop up and freeze any veg I know my OH won't prepare on a Sunday - peppers, chillis, mushrooms, carrots, etc into portions so they can be popped into the MW for veg portions or dropped into a stew/bolognaise etc for convenience. Grate cheese and open freeze, then shake into a bag so this can be added onto toast and grilled or added when cooking - this stops you throwing out mouldy wedges!
7) Meal planning will help the family - they will know what dinners they can choose between and help themselves.

The good news about all this is that you do have an excellent income coming into the house and so with some prudent trimming of costs, you should easily get yourself into a situation where you feel on top of things again.

Best of luck - keep us posted.

dancingfairy

Hi can you rent you work flat out- can you get a lodger? don't know how big it is but maybe you could rent it Friday-Monday?
Good Luck with it all

aah

Lifeisbutadream wrote:

Thats actually £7833 per month before tax..

Hi there, what is £7833, sorry, just didn't follow you.

aah

Friday to Monday renting is a fantastic option - there must be loads of people who want to come to the city (its not a particularly big name city but still quite sweet) and spend a couple of nights there. I keep it really tidy so anyone who wanted a home from home would love it. I could lock the phone and the broadband is unlimited so all I'd be anxious about would be the fuel, but the flat is cheap to run.... If I could do that even every other weekend that that would really really help.

And Angela, thanks for being so understanding, you have completely hit the right nail on the head with this; part of the problems I have (the huge loan) was built up as a result of my old job, where I had to pay all my own exps and then claim them back (at least 3x monthly trips to London, I live in the North, petrol for a regional job etc). I'd put all the exps on my cc and then claim them back as cash.............. absolute recipe for disaster.

At least I don't do that now, and I'M STARTING A DIARY!!!

Are there any diary templates, spreadsheets out there among you wonderfully resourceful lot..

Horse sharing is a good idea too, exercise and more schooling for him...
I'm not precious about him, I let anybody (within reason) ride him so that should be reasonably easy....

gret help! pmr