help. my SOA

onedayiwill

If you don't want to do DMP/IVA then the only option really is to get OH to help you. How come OH doesn't realise how much it'll affect him and the kids if he doesn't help out? Spell it out to him.

onedayiwill

Not sure about claiming CC charges. Fortunately I have not had any charges on my cards other than interest. But someone else will know

earwig

im not beening funny but it your choice not your oh the thing is it is not going to get better if you do nothing in fact it will get worse if you do want get out of the situation you are in then a dmp is your only way at the moment if you do nothing you may end up having to go bankrupt in the future sonner or later that shortfull is going to catch up with you and clapton is right dont borrow that money of your dad untill you are sure of what you are going to do as it will cause you problems on a dmp

CLAPTON

my concern for you is that your spending budget is not realistic and that in fact you are spending more than that ..c.f. the car costs alone;
and that 'just get through to the holidays' will mean increasing your debt by over 1,000.
and as already said be careful about accepting your father offer because if you do have to do a DMP/IVA it complicates matters.


i would suggest

a. you start a spending diary and try to see what you really spend
b. really think about the annual / one off costs and work these out too ...divide by 12 and you have to save that amount each month so you have the money when needed and don't need to use credit cards

c. work out on paper (or better on a spreadsheet) on a month by month basis for at least the next 6 months of your expected income for each month and your expected spending for each month and see what shortfall/surplus there will be each month and so see if those debt will rise or begin to fall.
if they are not less in six months to now then you really need to explore DMP/IVA because at the moment i can't see how you can realistically service the debts.

CLAPTON

oh and yes you can reclaim credit card charges just like bank charges

shamu95

i must stress that this is all i spend. i have no life at all at the moment. i don't pay for food or drink at work as i work at mcdonalds. its free. make up, shampoo etc i get free through doing avon. my grandparents help my out with buying things or paying for car insurance mot etc but thy won't give me the money to just pay off debts. i'm currently working 50 hours a week at main job and 3-4 on avon. am looking into the mystery shopper websites aswell.
i am trying so hard but the interest charges are killing me.

misspoppy

Hi

I really feel that you need your OH to break down were your payments to the joint account go, so you can look at the savings potential there. how much does he pay/earn? Are you earning the same amount and paying half of everything or does one of you earn more and you pay the same?

Does your OH know about the secured loan and is that half that you pay?

Sounds to me that your OH needs a reality check but that is easier said than done. Prehaps once you can answer the above questions you will have more amunition to bring him on board.

Good luck

shamu95

i have cut the outgoings of our joint account by well over £100 a month but oh says we must continue to pay the same regardless. the secured loan was ohs helping hand. i pay it all! as i have said i and our boss have spoke to him in mass detail. even my dad had a word about supportive partners etc. all to no avail.
my oh won't even let me take payment protection off the secured loan. i am in a vicious circle here.
one of my friends has been round and has said that if my boss will let me i can work in her restaurant after i finish at mine which will be an extra 5-6 hours per week possibly more.
without going into an iva or anything can you get interest frozen or reduced?

findingmyownway

to me, your OH doesnt sound much use to you! how long have you been together? do you have kids together? do you live together?

onedayiwill

You say talking to your OH is like talking to a brick wall. Frankly if he was my other half I'd be banging his head into a brick wall.

There is wanting someone to learn from their mistakes and then there is stopping them from getting on with their life. Which is what your OH is doing.

Sorry, but it's true. He can help you if he wants but he chooses not to. Why?