Finishing yr 6 starting yr 7 - useful to know (a year on).

dan536

From the point of view of a teacher and Head of Key Stage 3 - rather than anything physical to send them with, can I suggest all parents instil their children with a sense of responsibility for their own property?

I know kids will be kids and lose stuff, but it gets beyond a joke when the same students walk into lessons with no pen/pencil/ruler/etc...

I'm pretty sure that all parents must get fed up with constantly supplying new equipment. Trust me - it wasn't lost, they just couldn't be bothered to clear up their stuff before moving on to the next lesson.

Also - do NOT let them get onto Facebook before the age they should be. I know it'll be tempting to think 'all the other parents let their kids, so maybe I should and surely it can't be that bad.'. Facebook is a huge source of uncontrolled bullying in schools - and it's incredibly hard to monitor as parents and teachers.

I know this goes against how you feel as a parent too ( and I am one), but go with the opposite of 'innocent until proven guilty' when they come home telling you that 'they did nothing' and it was 'everyone else'. Teaching people to suck eggs? Maybe, but I think it's too easy to assume your offspring could ever do anything wrong.

Start saving - trips/books/equipment/Christmas fayres/charity activities - these all add up. I often wonder how parents manage to buy food after they've sent their children off to school for a week.

READ THEIR DIARIES/PLANNERS and sign them if this is needed. Often, this is the easiest way of teachers communicating with parents. Equally, by looking through their planners you will get a good idea if they're writing their homework down, doing it and handing it in.

Do not to send them to school without breakfast - students do a huge amount throughout the day and no breakfast is a sure fire way of poor focus and causing problems.

Give them somewhere to study at home - somewhere quiet. A desk by the TV is no good. Either in their bedrooms or in a separate room downstairs.

Keep an eye on their Xbox/playstation usage. One parent recently contacted me asking for some suggestions with her son. He'd clocked up 19 days of Xbox use in 5 months. I realise this is an extreme example, but Xboxes in bedrooms are far too easy to lose time on, time that could be spent doing other more useful things.

NAME everything - Superdry jackets are expensive and regularly end up in lost property, with no name. Sending kids to school with expensive items is akin to handing them cash and asking them to hide it from you.

Mobile phones - while I FULLY understand that these are now like second heads and I use mine a lot - I cannot get over the amount of parents who will text their kids during lesson times in school. Although phones should be off (assuming that's the rule), chances are they won't be. All students assume that if their mum or dad have texted, it's absolutely fine to check it and reply. It isn't - try to text during break/lunch times. Please. Also - all schools have phones that the kids can use to call home in an emergency, in reception. Please don't tell your children to use their mobiles to call you on them for several reasons:

1) It saves you money (if they're PAYG)
2) If it's an emergency, the school need to know
3) It undermines the majority of school's rules that are to not have phones on. If this is the rule - support it.

Occasionally take a look at their books - does the work they're doing come up to a decent standard? If you don't think so, speak to them about it. So many parents are shocked at the poor quality of work their kids hand in to teachers when shown it - get ahead of it by taking a look yourself. I'm not suggesting this is your responsibility alone - of course the teacher should be checking too, but the success of your children depends heavily on your support.

To finish - I'm not an old, cynical teacher, I've also not been a teacher all my life - I have worked in industry and do understand how the world works. I'm not miserable, I'm actually pretty relaxed but consistent and fair. I love teaching and I have never had that feeling of not wanting to go into work - which I did have in previous jobs. All of the above advise is meant in the nicest possible way - none of it is meant to be patronising - I'm pretty certain I'll struggle when my daughter finally goes to school.

Good luck.:D

Poppy9

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

OK this is maybe a stupid question but I see kids walking to school with no coat in the rain. Do you just accept this and let them get on with it? My son will have a 10/15 minute wait between school buses and no bus shelter. Is it pointless trying to find him a "cool" coat???

.

Probably for the Y7 you will battle and force him to wear his coat but after that forget it and let him freeze, get soaking wet etc.! Not really sure what they have against coats but it's ridiculous that they refuse to wear. They will wear hats and gloves but no coat!

Honestly I just gave up and eventually in Y10 after a very cold snap DD came home from school and said she needed a school coat so we went shopping and now she always wears a coat if cold (she is just finishing Y12).

A few years ago there was a trend to wear basic black plimsolls as school shoes! £2 a pair in Primark. Totally impractical in the rain but not my feet getting wet.

I saved my energy for fighting battles that I thought were worth winning like homework done in good time not at last minute.

If you had a girl you would also need to budget for umbrellas. DD goes through about 5 a year if not more! Guess the cost is offset by not buying a coat!

A plus side of senior school is the lack of school fetes. Instead I get asked for school funds in September (£3) and £3 is added to the cost of any day trips (like Alton towers not subject trips).

I've never paid school funds. Not because I'm against it but because for 5 years DD had a form tutor who seemed very reluctant to collect it - Head of Year said they were the only form in the year (11 forms) who had a 100% non payment rate:rotfl: when he was bawling them out.

Spendless

dan536 wrote: »

Occasionally take a look at their books - does the work they're doing come up to a decent standard? If you don't think so, speak to them about it. So many parents are shocked at the poor quality of work their kids hand in to teachers when shown it - get ahead of it by taking a look yourself. I'm not suggesting this is your responsibility alone - of course the teacher should be checking too, but the success of your children depends heavily on your support. Good luck.:D

^^^ This is certainly an area we slipped up in this year. Initially we helped DS a lot with packing of bags and organising the day ahead, but it became apparant that he was going to leave us to it, so we withdraw support so he had to do it. It worked. :T What we forgot to do is then put some support back in. We discovered/realised this at parents evening when DS's English teacher mentioned a piece of work he'd recently set; a scary story. I knew the effort DS had put in, he'd asked if he could watch a 'ghost story' dvd to give him ideas not for the story itself but about the descriptions of the settings, the atmosphere and he'd made notes thru-out. Then we left him to get on with his homework. He lost grades for his grammar, not using paragraphs and so on. We could have easily remedied that by looking at the piece of work he was going to hand in and making sure he corrected it.

YORKSHIRELASS

Spendless wrote: »

School coat -you may wish to read another thread of mine -lol

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3472827=

I gave up insisiting he wore a coat tbh. He does have a lightweight jacket and I told him to roll that into his bag to 'humour Mum'.

OK - you have convinced me that its not worth bothering to spend money on a winter coat - unless he asks for one which is highly unlikely!! Thats really helpful actually so thanks.

dan536

Spendless wrote: »

^^^ This is certainly an area we slipped up in this year. Initially we helped DS a lot with packing of bags and organising the day ahead, but it became apparant that he was going to leave us to it, so we withdraw support so he had to do it. It worked.

This too - which I forgot - many parents think that by doing everything for their children they're helping. Good work on realising. Again it's one of those things that's too easy to assume you're doing the right thing.

Lots of students struggle with the responsibilities of secondary school and if parents do too much for them, they never really pick it up. Those are the ones that then find it hard during GCSE/A-Level to study independently - they assume it will just 'come to them'.

Like you say though - checking it's been done is not the same as doing it for them - but the balancing act is a tricky one.

CruisingSaver

DD is in the last couple of days of Y7 and I'm wondering where on earth the time has gone:eek:

I'd say to soon to be Y7 parents that it really isn't as bad as you fear it might be. The teachers are really good at settling the children in to school and the kids adapt far quicker than you think, especially when you drop off that terrified white faced little 'un on their first day.

They change so much during Y7 and your heart could literally burst with pride when you see how independent and grown up they become.:)

Now for the next challenge as DD will turn 13 in just a couple of months' time and I fully expect to be starting a thread entitled 'my DD has been replaced by a hormone driven anger monster - please tell me it turns out OK':D:D

CS x

balletshoes

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

This is brilliant. Keep the advice coming.

OK this is maybe a stupid question but I see kids walking to school with no coat in the rain. Do you just accept this and let them get on with it? My son will have a 10/15 minute wait between school buses and no bus shelter. Is it pointless trying to find him a "cool" coat???

completely pointless - I live near the secondary school my DD will be going to in September, and the rule is blazer and tie must be worn on school grounds. Unless its snowing, generally I see kids approaching school in their shirt sleeves, either carrying their blazers, or with their blazer stuffed into their bags. They get put on at the school gate.

The no-coat phenomenon apparently goes on until year 10-ish, when all of a sudden your son or daughter will come back into the coat-wearing fold :rotfl:.

kazd

I wish my son's school had given an indication about all the school trips they have the opportunity to take over the years. Year 7 - Holland, Year 8 - Austria - Ski-ing, Year 9 Ski-ing but didn't go because was holding out for the trip to China in the summer. Year 10 - Italy - Ski-ing, Year 11 - Italy - Ski-ing, Year 12 - Cornwall - adventure type, plus the opportunity to go ski-ing, Venice, USA and somewhere in Africa for 4 weeks. I have probably missed a few other trips out.

My youngest son is now at the same school, he goes on an activity holiday for a week in Oct, followed by a ski trip in February.

My daughter went to France in Year 9, and in Year 10 has been ski-ing in February and returned from Belgium a couple of weeks ago. She also has the opportunity to go ski-ing again next year. And no they are not in private school.

However, I learnt my lesson early on and started saving £60 per month into what I call extra-curricular account, I upped this to £100 when daughter started at Secondary, so I always have the money to pay for the school trips.

Blooming expensive this kids business.

Poppy9

kazd wrote: »

I wish my son's school had given an indication about all the school trips they have the opportunity to take over the years. Year 7 - Holland, Year 8 - Austria - Ski-ing, Year 9 Ski-ing but didn't go because was holding out for the trip to China in the summer. Year 10 - Italy - Ski-ing, Year 11 - Italy - Ski-ing, Year 12 - Cornwall - adventure type, plus the opportunity to go ski-ing, Venice, USA and somewhere in Africa for 4 weeks. I have probably missed a few other trips out.

My youngest son is now at the same school, he goes on an activity holiday for a week in Oct, followed by a ski trip in February.

My daughter went to France in Year 9, and in Year 10 has been ski-ing in February and returned from Belgium a couple of weeks ago. She also has the opportunity to go ski-ing again next year. And no they are not in private school.

However, I learnt my lesson early on and started saving £60 per month into what I call extra-curricular account, I upped this to £100 when daughter started at Secondary, so I always have the money to pay for the school trips.

Blooming expensive this kids business.

The majority of senior schools have a foreign trip open to all pupils each year but I don't know of any of DD friends who have been on one each year.

I really haven't felt under any pressure to pay out a fortune for school trips. I often don't see letters offering trips as DD won't mention if she has no interest.
DD trips:

Y7 - London overnight, show and theme park about £150
Y8 - nothing
Y9 - Eurodisney £140 two days, one night.
Y10 - London as above
Y11 - nothing
Y12 - nothing
Y13 - Skiing in US and shopping in NY (9 days) - £1400 (been paying this off since Sept 2012 and they go early 2013

Sezzagirl

The best school bag I have bought was a lap top bag from T*sco - cost me maybe £15 3 years ago and still going strong

Not enought room for PE kit though but fits everything else!