Splitting up !

duchy

I think the sensible thing is to buy him out of the house and then he buys his own flat with that money. That way it's much more straightforward so legal costs will be less.

Same goal is reached -just in a less complicated manner. I think you've just got used to doing things "as a couple" so your thought process is still "How do "we" achieve this rather than seeing it as things you need to do seperately .

Dawn1708

I want to stay in the house so guess I could buy him out but I can afford to buy the flat with cash so no borrowing. Just thought the easiest way was to buy the flat and give it to him or is that not allowed ? Or can I just give him the 100k with him signing something with a slolicitor. If we get back together then we would almost certainly think about keeping the flat as a holiday home in the summer and rent it during the winter but you never know what will happen in the future with work etc.

NeverAgain_2

Dawn,

You've lost me, if you stay in the house by buying out the boyfriend with the inheritance, how can you afford a flat for cash?

Dawn1708

sorry was thinking in 'We' terms lol ! got to stop that. He could buy cash if I give it to him and if we get back together we own the flat and the house if that makes sense !!

NeverAgain_2

Dawn1708 wrote: »

sorry was thinking in 'We' terms lol ! got to stop that. He could buy cash if I give it to him and if we get back together we own the flat and the house if that makes sense !!

It does, but I think you are trying to predict and plan too far into the future.

You could meet a new boyfriend who owns his own flat, which would put you in the same position - a couple who each own a property but only want to live in one.

As others have said, separating your financial affairs is the best bet, they can easily be joined again if needed.

I think the simplest way is give boyfriend inheritance in exchange for his share of the property and let him do whatever he wants with the money.

JimmyTheWig

Makes total sense, Dawn. Everything is so much simpler if you can buy him out of the house.
I thought I read that you could afford to do that, but now can't see it.

Can you afford to pay him his £100k share of the house and clear the mortgage?
Or would you be able to get the mortgage put into your name?

Dawn1708

yes could pay his 100k and pay off the rest of the mortgage so from the sound of it that could be the best thing to do. Will book an apointment with my solicitor and see what they think. thanks everyone, very helpful and seems a nice forum full of nice people !!

RobertoMoir

Dawn1708 wrote: »

I want to stay in the house so guess I could buy him out but I can afford to buy the flat with cash so no borrowing. Just thought the easiest way was to buy the flat and give it to him or is that not allowed ? Or can I just give him the 100k with him signing something with a slolicitor. If we get back together then we would almost certainly think about keeping the flat as a holiday home in the summer and rent it during the winter but you never know what will happen in the future with work etc.

Perhaps I'm missing something but if you're splitting up then the "simplest thing to do" would always be the one that most easily allows you two to split your financial (and any other) interdependencies and involvement with each other. This would surely be buying him out of the property you wish to remain in, and him making his own arrangements using the money he's raised from the sale of his share of the property. This is essentially one "joint" transaction and then your housing becomes your problem and his housing becomes his problem. Less to go wrong if one of you suddenly loses their job and can't meet a previously promised financial commitment or whatever.

While things are amicable now (and I hope that whatever else happens, that continues), there are lots of stories across the various boards here where things have gone wrong in these kinds of circumstances and its caused a lot of problems.

Dawn1708

thanks, yeah I guess the most sensible thing to do is split everything down the middle then pay him off. Neither of us see this as a proper split up, more like a trial seperation, bit of breathing space. We may or may not get back together but would like to think spending a bit of time apart will sort us out. I'm not going to go any further into our relationship but i'd put money (if I had any left !!) on us being back together in 6 month, maybe less. thanks again

sonastin

It does sound like you've been overcomplicating things by planning for the future too much. In order to effect a separation, you need to
a) agree he is going to move out
b) agree how much he is entitled to, to buy him out of the house
c) take his name off the mortgage (easiest way is pay it off, otherwise lender needs to agree to this)
d) take his name off the deeds at the land registry.

He can then sort out his own living arrangements. He will have the money to buy somewhere if that's what he wants. Or he can invest the money, go travelling around the world, sofa-surf with friends and family, buy a really nice cardboard box and live in a shop doorway - entirely up to him but you've done right by him by giving him the funds to afford somewhere if he chooses.

If you do get back together, you can re-evaluate your circumstances at that point. You'll have many options and it is best to work out which is the right choice as and when you work out how you want your relationship to proceed. You shouldn't be trying to make that decision now before you've even tried the separation.