What would you do?

Jacqu79

Hi there

I'm just looking for some opinions from other brides to be.:)

Myself and my fiance have started looking at venues for our wedding. We found one that would be ideal and they have a great package available for this year, which they've agreed to let us have next year for an extra £250. They only want a £250 deposit and I really want to go ahead and book it. My fiance is worried that it's too much to take on as he doesn't have regular work at the moment, but ive worked it out and we could pay for the venue package from my wage, then the other bits and pieces from any work he gets and money my dad wants to put towards the wedding.

I feel like I'm being a spoilt brat about it and stamping my feet to get my own way, but it's a beautiful venue with a really great package, and I would really like to get married on a special date (18 months away!). I understand why he's being cautious, but I just feel that if we dont get something booked soon, it'll never happen.:(

We're both 33 at the moment and time is ticking away....:eek:

What would you do?

Hollie84

If it was me,id book it.me and OH didnt have any money saved when we booked ours last june but we have been saving every penney we can,i dont have a full time job i work from home so i only get paid when orders are made.
i have sold so much stuff on ebay and made so much money so the profit goes in the wedding pot.if u cut back u can do it,our shopping used to be £80-£85 a week its now £60-£65 each week,we knocked our sky package down to the lowest just to save money.weigh up where u can cut back and if u have a house full of unwanted items get them listed on ebay on a free lisitng weekend,its amazing how much u can make.So if u want it go for it

Crowdpleaser

I agree with Hollie. Book it but when you do have a good old sort out of what you can flog etc to pay for certain bits. I took some extra shifts at work to pay for my dress. Have reached that target so am now working towards the shoe pot. Items going on eb this weekend will pay for my hair accessory xxx

lisajane8482

Jacqu79 wrote: »

My fianc!! is worried that it's too much to take on as he doesn't have regular work at the moment, but ive worked it out and we could pay for the venue package from my wage, then the other bits and pieces from any work he gets and money my dad wants to put towards the wedding.

We are in a similar situation. My OH is just finishing his degree (he’s a mature student) and works as and when needed for our local council events team so has no regular income as such.

The main of the wedding will be paid for by myself and my mum is chipping in a little but not much as her and my dad don’t have much money either.

We went ahead and booked everything as soon as we had the money and the only thing left is the reception venue decorations and the flowers. We have bought what we can as and when we have had the money and after next month we will have everything bought everything that we can buy now so it’s a case of saving hard to pay balances and buy what’s left next year.

We've just made some sacrifices to our plans (men wearing own suits, changing buffet to a cheaper option etc) as OH has not got as much work as he was supposed to (as some of the events have been cancelled) but after a bit of a panic and some very helpful advice on here things are now back on track.

I agree with the others book it now, I'm sorting through the house and shed this weekend and gettting stuff together ready for eBay, reducing the sky package, gave up my lottery numbers at work. It's all small amounts but when you add them together they soon mount up.

JimmyTheWig

What's your total wedding budget?
How much of this budget have you currently got?
How long have you been saving for it?
When did you decide to get married?
Do you have £250 for the deposit right now?

Would it make sense to put the wedding back a year? You could then have the same date (presumably that's the relevant bit for you) but have an extra year to get some of the wedding savings under your belt. This time next year you should be in a much better position to decide if your budget is realistic and to go ahead and book somewhere according to that.

marleyboy

It sounds like he is being sensible, remember the wedding is for you BOTH, as such it is far better to compromise with each other for such an event.

If money is tight, finding yourselves needlessly deep in debt prior to the big event is likely to spoil the day. There is nothing wrong in splashing out and making it a special occasion that you both will never forget, so long as you are both sure there is enough funds to cover it and are not left with financial issues you would rather forget.

Try not to go over his head and assume he will get over it, as it is a special event for the two of you to share, the last thing you would want is to give him reason to get cold feet about it.

RainbowDrops

Booking a wedding before having any savings in place is always going to be risky.
Look into insurance options before makeing a decision.
Eg, what if you both lost your jobs - what would you do then, would insurance cover it etc.

If you are certain you can cover the costs, then it'll be good to get the ball rolling, but as others have said, it's joint decision, and if your OH is worried it might be an extra stress for him if you go ahead & book.

double_mummy

i personally wouldn't get married at a place unless we were both happy with that place.

if you are not certain that you can afford it then dont get it.

have you tried discussing your situation with your venue and seeing if there are anyways you can book a smaller package and then is you can afford it closer to the time increase the package this means you then have your venue and your special date but the pressure will not be such a big thing

good luck x

Jacqu79

Thanks very much for all the replies!:)

Everyone I've spoken to has said go for it as then you know how much you need to save and it makes it a bit easier. I'd never go ahead and just book it if he was unhappy, even though he did say he doesn't care where we get married. I've to do all the organising and he'll just turn up on the day!:mad::D

Jimmy, we haven't really set an official budget, but I'm aiming for around £5000.

The package is £3750 for exclusive use of venue, 3 course meal and drinks for 80 people, evening buffet for 130, bridal suite, chair covers, centrepieces, piper and some other things that I've forgotten!:D

We have about £500 at the moment, so could pay the deposit.

From my wage, after bills etc are paid, we SHOULD have around £350 per month surplus, but we fritter it away at the moment. I'd find it easier to save if I had something to save for!:o. We can't really count his wage, as he works for himself and it can be a bit erratic, but he would have some jobs, so we could use the money from that too. I could also get overtime over the summer, but again, I won't count on that.

The only other extras I can think of at the moment would be registrar fees, wedding dress (2nd hand or from china), (bridesmaids are buying their own dresses), hire of kilts for groom and our son, hotel room night before wedding (so no transport costs), DJ and invitations (which I plan to do myself). No doubt there's other things I've forgotten there, but it's all I can think of!:D

I don't want to wait another year, because I'll already be 34 next year and my biological clock is ticking like mad.

I'd be happy for the 2 of us to go off somewhere and tie the knot, but he wants his family there, so that would cost a fortune too, between us we have 44 close family members(inc partners and kids!)

We won't be getting in to debt over the wedding, just having to tighten our belts a wee bit. I really think its doable, but wouldn't do anything unless he's happy.

Jacqu79

RainbowDrops wrote: »

Booking a wedding before having any savings in place is always going to be risky.
Look into insurance options before makeing a decision.
Eg, what if you both lost your jobs - what would you do then, would insurance cover it etc.

If you are certain you can cover the costs, then it'll be good to get the ball rolling, but as others have said, it's joint decision, and if your OH is worried it might be an extra stress for him if you go ahead & book.

I would definitely take out insurance before booking anything as there's always the worry about unforeseen things happening. My job is pretty secure, but never say never.

I really believe its doable, but as I said, I'd never dream of booking it unless he was happy with it too.

Jacqu79

double_mummy wrote: »

i personally wouldn't get married at a place unless we were both happy with that place.

if you are not certain that you can afford it then dont get it.

have you tried discussing your situation with your venue and seeing if there are anyways you can book a smaller package and then is you can afford it closer to the time increase the package this means you then have your venue and your special date but the pressure will not be such a big thing

good luck x

We both do really like the place, and I'm sure that we could afford it without struggling too much on my wage alone, so adding in a contribution from my dad and any jobs my OH gets in between times it would be easily doable in my eyes.

Thank you!:)