Buried me head...!

nickbrat

Good morning.. I'm bloody fed up. Just thought I'd let you know.

:-(

Am I the only person who has buried his head in the sand? I haven't even checked my accounts for a couple of months, I don't even know why.... I know I'm overdrawn and owe thousands...!

I feel like an addict who hasn't even hit rock bottom yet.

I'm working two thirteen hour shifts this weekend and on Monday morning I'm going to sit down and finally work out what I owe and who I owe it to.....

I want my life back......

This email is my first step.... Think I need help as I don't like myself very much right now.

And, yes. I know it's all my fault

anna_d_2

I didn't entirely bury my head in the sand but I did put off opening statements for as long as possible - it's not a nice place to be and makes you feel really out of control.

Scary as it is, checking will give you some little sense of control over your own destiny back and you can start to make the first steps towards getting your life back.

The thing to always remember is that - it's only money. It's not life or death.

Chin up x

nickbrat

Thank you Anna, have you been looking at my large pile of unopened mail...?

I think that simply posting one message on here has helped because it has made me focus...

I need to get control and I'm damn well going to do it....... On Monday..... Lol

First things first.... The mail...... Here goes.

anna_d_2

It's okay to take a deep breath and pause, then go for it.

The fact that you have posted here makes me think you are having your infamous Lightbulb Moment! I'll hold your hand (virtually!) and everyone here will help you get through this.

The thing with rock bottom is that the only way is up.

Vikipollard

LOL, no hun you arent alone. Have a series of Ostrich t-shirts of my own, in various sizes as I got fat and then thinner again

Expect Monday to be the day you hit rock bottom; the moment you see in black and white the figures is always the hardest.

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

If you fill in your SOA and do it as the MSE version, it will allow the goodly people on here to offer some very good advice.

You're doing the hard part, opening the statements (I used to hide mine under the phone book...dont know why I imagined that no one could see them when the pile meant I had to lift my arm UP towards shoulder level reach the phone book on the table). But once you've written it all down you know what you're tackling and as anna said, the only way is up

/virtual hug

KirstyO

I've been there. It all sat on top of the microwave for months. When I opened it, most of it was default notices, missed payment letters etc etc. not one telling me that i could get help and things. Then I came on here and my world is a better place now.. I'll be holding a you virtual hand too...Maybe it's a journey we can make together? I've only just started on a DMP....let us know if you need anything. We're all here to support each other

seriousDFW

You're not the only one who does this, so don't feel guilty about it.

I spent years where I wouldn't check credit card statements or current account balances for months on end. I have literally no idea how I didn't mess things up and go over.

My advice is to check your bank online every day. For me this worked at the start as the reason I didn't check regularly before was because when I did check my balances, I was shocked by them, and every time after that I avoided checking so I didn't get shocked.

Well if you check every day there's only so much that could have gone out, and you're much more likely to remember what and how much so there won't be a shock.

Now I can check without that sinking feeling of what I'm going to find and it makes it so much easier to deal with emotionally.

rising_from_the_ashes

I think I actually went years without opening mail .... I was too scared to see what was in the envelopes - so you're def not alone in that sense!

Agree with Viki that the SOA is a great place to start - it let you see exactly what you need to have coming in to cover what's going out and see where the rest "disappears" to - and if you pop it up on here, I'm sure you'll get loads of suggestions on where cuts may be made.

I am now very rigid with my money - I have to be or I totally lose control.

The best thing I ever did (on my DFs advice) was to open a 2nd account which is only used for my bills - all my d/debits etc come out of there and I transfer a set amount on payday to cover all of these. That way, I never have to worry about missing a payment, or forgetting that something's not come out my account yet (I never take money out of this account).

Best of luck and as Kirsty says, you're never alone on here ....

moneywaster-nomore

Hiya, as all above have said.......nooo way are you the only one, most of us been there......got the T shirt. I have cleared debts, just to rack them up again and again.

You will love it here. Lifesavers these people here are.

My advice is, read and post daily......you will find the chat and supportive amazing.

subscribed

DebtFreedom_2

Don't worry. We've all done it. In fact, I still do it when I know I've hit an expensive patch in life; and then I check all the time when I know I've not spent.... bizarre! There's plenty here who will give you good advice. My advice, for what it's worth, is to set aside some time each week with a mug of tea and work through your finances. I use https://www.moneydashboard.com which I use for budgeting and tracking transactions. I think it works well and give me exactly what I need. A spreadsheet would work just as well!!

Good luck

nickbrat

Thank you all for your help and very kind words... i still havent done it..!!!!!

I have though opened my mail, it was mostly rubbish and i even had some offering me cash.. wihch made me smile. Seeing as im sat at my computer im going to go for it..

stand by for lots of screaming from the north west...