ending a relationship with debt

Sexy_Em

I have nothing helpful or constructive that I can say. However, I am sending you some *big hugs* and I really really hope that you get it all sorted out.

xox

joeblack066

My advice would be to get yourself a part time job (16 hrs p/w), claim the tax credits that you would then be entitled to, ensure that you contact the CSA to arrange the maintenance ( much better to be working as maintenance NOT taken into account with tax credits but IS for Income support), then you will feel strong and independant enough to tackle the house issue, togetner obviously with the correct legal representation. There are fundamentally 2 isses here...the financial one and the emotional one. To succeed, you have to bracket each one off in your mind and deal with them seperately. You will do it!!

nicky7175

hi thank you for all your replies, its hard because i would like to stay in the house because we have only just finished an extension november last year, and completely gutted the place. My 6 year old loves the school he goes to which is close. I gave up work last year because partner wanted to start his own business so needed me around the house alot more.

chevalier

So you gave up work to help him, and now he is saying that he paid for everything. Amazing how short some peoples memories are. You gave up work to support him and he is treating you like this? WOW. I wouldn't be crying, I would be spitting mad!
I really hope you can sort it out for the children.
chev

snoopy_and_woodstock

Hi Nicky7175
I was in your position about 6yrs ago, stay at home mum to a 2yr old. My husband just up and left, all he was interested in was money he wanted to sell the house quickly or for me to take out a secured loan to pay his maintenace payments (as if!!!) and he could make me do neither. My wonderful friend helped me find a solicitor and i started back at work within two weeks, only for 16hrs a week but with top ups from WTC i managed to servive. He still managed to walk away with 25% of the equity of the house when i sold it (As soon as the divorce was final and he had signed everything) but that was all, i kept everything else. As much as i hated him though i still try to be civil for the sake of our daughter. But 6 yrs down the line its so good to have moved on life is sooo much better i'm happier my daughter is settled and i own a new house with my partner (whom i've known since school, funny how life works!!).

There is light at the end of the tunnel, if he gets nasty make sure you tell your solicitor everything, a judge (as another poster said) will have the best interest of the children in mind and that is not to make you sell up and be unable to buy another house. This has turned into a ramble i just wanted you to see that you are not alone. And you will come through this.

Hugs :grouphug:

Snoopy x