ending a relationship with debt

nicky7175

hi not sure if i am posting on the right place. Basically my partner wants to move out we have 2 kids together aged 18months and 6. we have ran up a few debts and have a secured loan on the house for £60000 which i am now ashamed to admit. I also have a few credit cards. I ma not working at the mo
He has now told me last night that he wants the house sold, i am worrying because its the kids home etc but i cannot afford to pay and also all the debts aswell. can anybody help i am desperate

immoral_angeluk

Is the house in joint names? If so then he can't force you to sell the house and would have to 'buy you out' of your half of the mortgage before he force a sale. Sorry to hear things haven't worked out.

Uniscots97

Surely he realises he has a resposibility to the children? .....and by taking their home leaves them and you without a roof over your head.

nicky7175

hi thanks for your replies yes the mortgage is in both names and the loan is in both names. He is just being petty and he knows i cant afford it he just sees it that he has paid for everything because i am not working at the mo. I am so worried the mortgage and loan is not going to be paid let alone the credit cards i have been in tears all morning.

Uniscots97

Speak to the CAB regarding your rights. Sorry I can't be of more help. You will get through this.

do_it_today!

gosh it hard and tbh I dont have much knowledge but try searching the internet about breaking up - financial implications - hopefully he will come round and see sense that in trying to punish you he is also punishing his children - also do an advanced seach on the family section of this board there maybe past threads that handle this kind of situation.
good luck

Wickedwatkins

Hi there

Sorry to hear about your situation. Hope i can help a little

I work for a divorce firm as a legal secretary and my only advice is that he can't sell up if you own the house jointly. You would both have to agree or he would have to issue proceedings against you in Court to get the house sold and a Judge would have to order this. As you are the mother of his children, the Court would protect and provide for you and would no way kick you out of the house with nowhere to go. In the very worst case scenario the Court could suggest that you sell the house and as the mother of the children (and in the case of a split im guessing you'd have the children) the court would award you a higher percentage of the sale proceeds to be put towards another property and then the chances are that you would also be awarded maintenance towards the upkeep of the children.

The maintenance will bump up your income to make up for you not living together. Are the children of an age that they are at school yet? Could you get any part time work to help with your income?

Anyway. in the short term, if the house is in joint names, he can't sell it without your say so.

If you have a lot of debt and no income (or very little) the chances are that you will be entitled to legal aid for legal advice and so my advice to you would be to call a local solicitor and go and see them about your rights and where you stand. It will make you feel a heck of a lot better.

Wishing you all the best with this!
xx

spud30

Dont forget to look into your entitlements re benefits etc.

LJD1_2

Hiya
My friend went through a similar situation two years ago. She found the citizen's advice bureau really helpful. They told her about benefits and things that she didn't have a clue about. Good luck sorting everything out.

dancingfairy

I'm sorry for you and the kids that he's acting like this. I would check with the benefits office about your entitlement. Re the house do you wish to live there or would it be better to move and make a fresh start? Just wondering because if you did sell the house and moved somewhere it might help having some of the money to live on. (Obviously this depends on how much equity is in the house and assumes renting is cheaper than buying).

Why are you not working? If it's because of the little one could you arrange childcare and get a part time job? Can you claim any benefits?

I would also speak to the CAB and see if they can recommend a solicitor for you based on your situation.

Don't forget when things have settled down a bit and you know how much money you will get when it's divided up you can come on here and post an SOA and we'll see if we can help you draw up some budgets and suggestions to make the money go further.

Big Hugs and you will come through this dreadful situation.

zag2me

The Law is heavily weighted towards the children and the mother in these cases, he certainly can't force you to sell.

My only advice after seeing this from the blokes side is try and keep things civil, and try and keep on good terms. Maybe selling and starting again can be a good option, especially with that size loan the equity could be used to settle it.