Boyfriend moving into my mortgaged house

WhiteHorse

rachjenn wrote: »

My parents helped with the deposit (not a small amount) so I want to get a document drawn up from the solicitors saying 'If we break up, he can't take half the house'. They are also expecting I do this too. I know to some that sounds horrid and that I don't trust him, but my parents gave me money and I saved up a lot towards my deposit so I don't see why (should the worst happen) he could take half if I don't protect myself, when he hasn't saved any himself.

This is sensible. If a partner contributes to the mortgage, thay can begin to acquire rights. Best to decline a contribution to the mortgage, but accept a contribution for the other bills.

Rupert_Bear

rachjenn wrote: »

Thanks all for your advice, much appreciated!

Everyone has a very clear opinion on what they'd expect, but I'm still at odds at what to do. I'm trying to put myself in his shoes, but I think that's making it worse. A good sleep might help!

I'll update again when I'm closer to an answer, and let you know how it goes.

Many thanks again,
Rach

It comes down to trust. If you do not accept his offer then he may think you do not trust him and also may think you do not love him enough.

Your gut feeling should tell you whether you can trust him or not and I do speak from experience!

Suarez

I would stick to what others have said - let him pay half the bills and suggest he starts a savings account so you can both get a place in a few years 50/50.

northernsaver

Rupert_Bear wrote: »

It comes down to trust. If you do not accept his offer then he may think you do not trust him and also may think you do not love him enough.

Your gut feeling should tell you whether you can trust him or not and I do speak from experience!

Possibly. I can see why some people feel that way. He's totally relaxed about it, so I don't think that's an issue.

I sent him this thread's URL so he could see ideas on what to do.... We've decided to open a joint account and pay for utilities from that, possibly adding more to save for holidays etc. I'll continue to pay the mortgage on my own, but we'll still have something drawn up by my solicitor. Glad it's decided.... now I can go about changing my direct debits.... not looking forward to that!!

Thanks all, much appreciated.

Rach

foreversummer

rachjenn wrote: »

I sent him this thread's URL so he could see ideas on what to do.... Rach

Looks like you are being open and honest with each other from the outset. That's a very good sign and I say all the very best to both of you.

Foreversummer

northernsaver

I did wonder if to show him it after some of the things I said in my first post! I guess they're a little blunt, but I'd say them to his face & he knows what I'm like. Thank you :-)

Cobbler78

Always best to be honest right from the start, then hopefully there wont be an issue about splitting up. iw ould get something drawn up regarding your parents share and also your share though, better to be safe that sorry. Have you asked what he would do if the situation was reversed?

northernsaver

Hi Cobbler.

I haven't asked him what if the situation was reversed, but I've kept this at the forefront of my mind, mainly because I know I wouldn't be happy with paying half of his mortgage without at least knowing I'll get back half of what I helped with. I'm not as easy going as what he is (obviously) but I want to protect him somewhat, should we split because he's being 'too' carefree about the whole thing. He said he hadn't thought about what would happen if we split as he'd basically be homeless - he said he hadn't thought about it, so I told him to! Not a nice subject to think about at all. Will be glad when it's sorted!

northernsaver

Hi all,

Things have changed again! We’re now opening a joint account which will be used for ALL the bills (including the mortgage) and having something drawn up so my deposit is protected, plus the money I’ve spent on the house already (new central heating system, carpets, etc) Going to add on £10k to what I paid for it, and say “anything after £ this amount, you get half of”.

£150 for the priviledge of having my solicitor stamp my words! Bah!

star4876

If you are really worried about him being entitled to half the house then why not print off a draft tenancy agreement (you can get them online, my former landlady did it when she rented some rooms to students) and get him to sign to say he agrees to pay you 'X' amount on a monthly basis as a rent? That way he's only got tenants rights and won't be able to stake any claim to the equity in the house. Its not particularly "nice" as I'm assuming youre in a happy relationship, but it wouldn't be any different or worse than a pre nup, or an agreement via solicitors to say whats yours is yours!