At what age did you let your child out and about?

Spendless

I live a stone's throw from the village park, so aged 7 1/4 DS could play there without me present as long as certain criteria was met eg it wasn't after a certain time; he wasn't to go anywhere else. He walked to and from school with friends from the last half term of yr 4, when he was 9 1/4, he walked there and back all thru yr 5 alone and with his little sister from yr 6. Despite him being 'ambushed' by a group of kids his age or the yr below during Feb 1/2 term where 3 little sweethearts hit him round the head and another darling filmed it, I wouldn't stop him being out and about. Though I've told him not to go wandering in that particular area again. He did have enough about him to get the kids off him and ask a nearby adult for help, who informed 1 of the kids parents, DS informed another and I informed both schools the children go to.

DD who is almost 9 is more of an issue for me. The smallest in her class, more the height of a 6/7 yo she is out late every single day and often the last child in the playground as well as having a 'daydreamer' nature. I do worry she isn't tall enough to see oncoming traffic and being so late out means she wouldn't be walking 'en-masse' with other children/adults even though we only live a few mins from the school.

I am a big fan of starting walking alone/to shops etc in the spring months as the weather gets better and it gets lighter, as I think this gives several months of experience before they go into a new academic year and the clocks are being changed and the weater worsens by the first half term.

balletshoes

quietheart wrote: »

Great thread, my eldest is 11 tomorrow and is happy to walk about half the way home. He's quite young for his age but cautious and it feels about right. He'll have to start doing the full journey soon (over a mile) in preparation for secondary school.

Out of interest would you be as confident to leave your children in the house alone (in the day, not at night)?
I live in Birmingham and most friend/relatives don't leave their kids in the house until 12/13. I know I was babysitting newborn twins regularly at age 12 so I wonder if we mollycoddle too much.

thats, again, a judgement call. my niece is 11, nearly 12, and she gets herself safely off to school, locking the door behind her, once a week when my sister has to leave earlier in the morning to take my nephew to his football school location. niece is also quite happy to come home from school first and be on her own at home for anything up to an hour or so.

my DD is a year younger, so nearly 11, and although I'm perfectly happy to leave her for up to an hour on her own at home, she's not that keen at the moment (her friends at school have spooked her into thinking none of them are safe in broad daylight in full view of lots of people she's known for the last 7 years :cool:). So I'm not pushing the issue.

when she was happy to be left watching the telly/playing while I was out for an hour, the rules were - no cooking, don't answer the phone and don't answer the door. she locked the front door behind me, and knew her exit route if there was an emergency. she has a mobile phone and that would always be charged and in a place she could easily find it if she needed me quickly.

obviously as she gets older and is happier to stay home alone, the rules may change along the way.

Spendless

quietheart wrote: »

Great thread, my eldest is 11 tomorrow and is happy to walk about half the way home. He's quite young for his age but cautious and it feels about right. He'll have to start doing the full journey soon (over a mile) in preparation for secondary school.
Out of interest would you be as confident to leave your children in the house alone (in the day, not at night)?
I live in Birmingham and most friend/relatives don't leave their kids in the house until 12/13. I know I was babysitting newborn twins regularly at age 12 so I wonder if we mollycoddle too much.

I did/do. I built up from a few mins when DS was 9 3/4 to I'd leave him for upto a couple of hours now - he's 12 next week. It's not practical here to not leave a Secondary school age child, unless you either don't work or have a school hours friendly job. Here there's no term time childcare for yr7+ kids, with the exception of a childminder you are already using agreeeing to keeping child on. Holiday childcare is a bit better but not as long hours as you can find for a Primary or under school age child. My main issue with leaving DS when I've had to, isn't him, it's the occassions he has let his friends in, who I find less mature than DS and main aren't allowed to be home alone in their own house.

meritaten

I think it depends on many factors and then you make a judgement call.
firstly - how mature is your child? are they sensible?
how safe is the environment? busy roads to cross, or undesirables hanging about?
how safe is the play area?
how many other children of the same age are allowed out/to play there?
is there any way of keeping an eye on them?
are older more responsible kids around?
all factors hun - whether you live in a village or a sink estate. YOU then make the judgement - and keep out of sight when you spy on them the first few times!

quietheart

This thread has really surprised me (in a good way).
Not one person is hysterically shouting about !!!!!philes and the hidden dangers to our children. Living in a big city I know risk is all around but want my kids to learn to manage that risk not to avoid it.
I'm surprised but impressed that kids are taking responsbility seriously, getting themselves to school etc.
It's all v. positive and reassuring.
:T

marleyboy

Albeit I was out n about from the age of 6, in those days there was not half as much traffic as there is now. A rough guess for my Son would be about 8-9 (he is currently only 2.5), but only once he has mastered the highway code and has friends he is playing out with.

Luckily for him, until such a time we have a rear garden he gets to play in, and I take him to the park and play groups whenever we get the chance. I simply refuse to let him live in a bubble all his life, playing computer games for a living.

Spendless

embob74 wrote: »

I've always been quite cautious with my youngest DD as she has always been over-confident and thought she should be able to do things I thought she was too young for.
She pestered me to be able to walk home from school at age 9 (year 5 in primary) and at age 10 (year 6 in primary when lots of kids were walking home. We do live over a mile away from the school but even if we were closer I still think I would have wanted to accompany her.
At high school I still walked her there and back until recently when she turned 12.
I recently got a lecture from a police officer for letting her walk home from school as he didn't think 12 was old enough to do so. Let's hope he never stands outside the high school at 3:30pm as he'd have a LOT of parents to lecture!

n Do you live somewhere rural? He can't be aware that kids in England and Wales start school aged 11? I met my 12 next week child off the school bus yesterday and apparantly I have 'ruined his life by doing this' :rotfl: I'd asked him to pick his little sister up from school for me once a week, he claimed the school bus got in too late, so I waited for it with a clock in hand. Def don't think I'd have managed to walk him there and back but might threaten that as the next punishment.

Savvy_Sue

Spendless wrote: »

n Do you live somewhere rural? He can't be aware that kids in England and Wales start school aged 11? I met my 12 next week child off the school bus yesterday and apparantly I have 'ruined his life by doing this' :rotfl: I'd asked him to pick his little sister up from school for me once a week, he claimed the school bus got in too late, so I waited for it with a clock in hand. Def don't think I'd have managed to walk him there and back but might threaten that as the next punishment.

:rotfl: we must report you for child cruelty, whatever next? First you meet him off the bus, THEN you say you want him to admit to having a younger sister!!!

Having said that, I didn't ask mine to be responsible for anyone but themselves - I knew it would end in tears if the younger 2 didn't do what the eldest asked. So they were ALL told to behave, and they knew that the others would snitch on them if they didn't, and that it was the one who misbehaved who'd be in trouble, NOT the one 'in charge'.

I used to run afterschool clubs, btw, and we found that children started to stop coming in Year 5: we have very very few Year 6 children, ever. By that age they were starting to go home on their own.

rachbc

I leave my 13 (14 in a few weeks) yo with the 5 yo whilst she is sleeping but wouldn't ask him to do it whilst shes awake - she runs rings round him! Once she did wake up whilst we were out- he rang and told us and when we go back there were sat quietly playing a game in her bedroom - not ideal as it was 10.30 but everyone was safe and happy

ruby-roo_2

quietheart wrote: »

This thread has really surprised me (in a good way).
Not one person is hysterically shouting about !!!!!philes and the hidden dangers to our children. Living in a big city I know risk is all around but want my kids to learn to manage that risk not to avoid it.
I'm surprised but impressed that kids are taking responsbility seriously, getting themselves to school etc.
It's all v. positive and reassuring.
:T

I agree with you. This thread has been really refreshing and interesting.