At what age did you let your child out and about?

Phil3822

Not the greatest title for this thread but what I want to know is at what age would/did you let your child out of the house by themselves? Like walking to school, local shop, friends house etc.

We live in a village and we often notice children in our sons class walking about by themselves or in small groups. The children are 8 or 9.

We do not and have not let our boy out and about by himself however it got me thinking about what age peoples children are before they begin to learn about being streetwise.

angelil

I don't have any kids, but my parents started doing this when I was 11. My first trip 'out' on my own, I think, was shopping in our local town with my best friend. Mum, I think, was sequestered in a caf! somewhere in the precinct so we could find her in case she was needed. I think 10 or 11 is probably the right age as kids are just preparing for secondary school then. Why do primary children who are any younger than this need to be anywhere without a parent, teacher, after-school club worker (or similar) or friends' parents anyway? Boggles the mind!

Twiglet0309

All kids are different. I am lucky to live overlooking a greenspace with no vehicle access to the front of the house. I let my Grandchildren (aged 8yrs and 6yrs) play out the front within view of the window. My Daugther (their mother) is 28yrs old and I wouldnt trust her to cross the road on her own. My Son is 30yrs old and travels the world on business but I can't sleep until I know he has got to his destination/home safe.

Phil3822 - there is no right or wrong time to ease off the apron strings but trust me, they are NEVER severed completely.

SunnyCyprus

my DD & DS walked to school on their own from age 10 & 9, but school is only 200yds from the house! when my DD turned 10 i said she could walk to her close friend's houses, or the shops, (500yds), but my son is 10 now and his character is different, not aware of traffic like DD, so i will hang on a bit longer for him.
xxx

tanith

I think it depends on the child and the environment they live in, some children are ready earlier and some are not.. here in London children often have to travel to school by bus and tube once they are going to High School and should be prepared by parents to be able to do this confidently in plenty of time so that means them being able to travel on buses/tubes with friends in the year before they are going up to High School so that its a regular thing for them . So it will be different for every family. When your child starts to ask to go out and about then you have to let them make a start somewhere maybe as a group to start with or as a family so they get used to how to get on and off buses/trains sensibly and get to know their environment.

TheConways

When I was 5-6 years old, my parents would let me cycle down to the lampost and back, which was about 100ms down the (quiet) road. I had to cycle on the pavement, assuming nobody was walking on it. By the time i was 7-8, I could cycle anywhere in the village, around to friends houses, as long as I was back by dark. If it was getting dark and I was at a friend's house (I had several on my road), I was to call home before I left so dad could look out for me (or walk down to find me).

When I was 9, I got the bus into town on my own to go to school.

I'm a strong believer that the more responsibility you give your children, the more streetwise they become, and sowing the seeds of responsibility is important. Otherwise, they can become a timid adult.

I'm now 29 working for a large company, travelling across countries and continents on a regular basis, and I can see the difference between some more junior colleagues who are timid and unsure in a foreign setting, and others. It can be quite a handicap later in life if your children haven't been given the freedom to roam and explore.

Mrs. Conway

newcook

I completely agree with Theconways regarding being streetwise!

I know a couple of people my age (31) who used to have mom or dad dropping them here, there and everywhere right up until they got their own driving licence – they know nothing about safety when walking and even things like walking to the local shop of an evening on their own is met with whinges of ‘but what if…’ I appreciate that things can happen but if you are still needing to be accompanied to the shop in your 30’s then something is seriously wrong!

I started going to school on my own when I was around 8 (with a group of school friends), by 12 I was getting the bus into the city centre to go shopping with a friend who I would meet in town.

These days, I have no qualms about walking on my own regardless of the time of day – I know to walk the well-lit street even if it does take longer than the not-so-well lit route, I have my handbag across my body so I have both hands free, I have my keys in my hand, in my pocket (and will use it to defend myself if I have to) and always, always let my friends know I have got back safely if they know I am walking.
I also make sure that I have £20 at home for when I need to get a taxi home (whether emergency or because I’ve had 1 too many!!)

Dunroamin

When we used to live in a village, all the children were out playing together from about the age of 5, a child of 8 or 9 would have been mortified to have been kept in! Surely the point of living in the country is that children don't need to be streetwise like they do in towns?

heretolearn_2

It really depends on the child and the environment, and who they are with.

A child out playing alone is a different kettle of fish to a little gang of them out together. The more children there are, the safer they are. We are creating more and more of a problem by keeping them in.

Where I live now is a very small cul-de-sac, mostly families with young children, and every evening and weekend there's a gang of the kids outside playing. We are all careful when we drive to spot any children. They range in age from probably about 4 to 12. The older ones keep an eye on the younger ones. I think it's lovely as so few children now get to go out like we used to!

When my son was young we lived on a council estate that was nearly all pedestrianised and had lots of areas the kids could play in. There were always kids out and about. He started going out just in front of where we lived with a neighbour's older boy when he was about 6. (I could peek out now and then). He started playing out with school friends from about 8. And going down to the local shop for me... there was no need to cross roads, lots of people around, a sensible kid, why not?

I think it's wrong to wrap kids in cotton wool and deprive them of normal experiences that help them grow up and learn responsibility - and also to go and do some crazy kid stuff like we used to away from adult eyes. Build little camps. Have 'wars' with other groups. Chalk pictures on the playground. Race their bikes up and down. climb a tree. Chase each other with a dog poo on a stick. Stuff kids have been doing forever...until recently some parents decided it's better to cripple them :mad: that's why kids of primary age should have time away from adults - I find the idea of 24/7 supervision up to the age of 11 horrifying. Kids need to be kids. The happiest times of my childhood were packing up some sandwiches, grabbing the dog, getting on my bike, and disappearing over the local fields and woods for the day on my own or with a friend. Honestly I think it's a tragedy for children who miss out on such univeral elsewhere and important parts of their development and just plain old FUN because of Sun -reader p edo under every bush hysterical parents.

They also need to be safe, so of course I would have different ideas if we lived on a major road, in the middle of gang-land etc.

rachbc

When I livd in a terrace with a back alley between the back gardens by son was allowed to play out from about age 3/4 - between certain freinds gardens on either side - there were usually various mums around, watching out of the kitchen windows or sitting chatting in the back steps but I would pop in and out a not have him in sight permanently, he was allowed round the corner to the shop to buy sweets/ milk from about 7 - no roads to cross literaly the street behind us. When he was 8/9 he would occassionally walk to/ from school himslef - I was on mat leave with no 2 if she was mid feed etc. School was at the top of our road - only 1 road to cross whcih he did outside the house with me watching. From year 5 (age 9/10) he was going to the park with mates and in year 6 (10/11) he started coming home to the empty house by himslef 1 night a week. That was also when he started going swimming/ picutres etc with mates. He now does comes home 2 nights whilst we are at work, goes to his dad on the other side of the city on the bus and is allowed into the city centre during the day (he's 13). Last summer he was out most evening after school til 8ish but obviosuly since its been cold and dark the skate park has less appeal - though I suspect it will start again soon with the lighter evenings.

How old is you son?

*Louise*

Usually mine aren't allowed out the garden on their own until age 5 but since there's not enough space DD (4) is allowed out the gate in front of the house and DS2 (6) draws her a chalk line on the path 2 gardens in either direction so she knows her boundary and is always in view.:rotfl:

We overlook the school playground and there are no roads so I don't need to worry about that side of things. They have a football pitch, basketball hoops, trees and wideopen space so they don't need to go anywhere else.

Eldest DS used to go to the shop down the road and things when he was 10 but after letters were sent home from school warning about attempted abductions I stopped letting him go anywhere without a friend, there were plenty in our street though. He is 12 now and goes off to high school and the shops and I don't need to worry about him.