Real Life MMD: Should I keep schtum over damaging neighbour's car?

marich

It has been interesting to see all these "Own up and pay" mails on this topic after seeing an equal proportion in previous posts where people have been ready to cheat/lie in stores and think it's alright to do so . Perhaps its because they own cars but don't own stores .

I'm very inclined to agree with LindseyKim13 who has just posted - you have to be prepared to take a knock to your car sometimes , it's not going to be perfect for ever - however much you would want it to be otherwise .

The street , the supermarket and even your own drive are 'dangerous places' and these things (or worse) will happen . It's not the end of the world .

John_Pierpoint

Fishcakes wrote: »

You may describe a flashy sports car as "nice". I however, would describe them as ostentatious, egotistical symbols of avarice, conspicuous consumption, and brainwashed aspirational vulgarity. They exemplify to me much that is wrong with the modern world and people in general. So no, I am not jealous of flashy sports car owners, I just don't like them very much.

.

In Victorian times people flaunted their wealth with fancy clothes and gold topped canes etc.
Now they are happy to clutter our streets with metal boxes that say "look at me I can afford the £3,000 pounds a year of after tax income that this eats as depreciation".

25,000,000 and still counting. That is roughly the number of people who have been killed by the motor car.

http://www.breathingearth.net/

You all know this life style is unsustainable for a population of 7,000,000,000. Perhaps it is time to focus your love and pride of ownership on something other than a dangerous planet wrecking metal box?

Let us expand this situation a bit.

Suppose we were not talking a minor cosmetic scratch to the paintwork and a child below the age at which they can be held responsible for their actions.

Suppose it was NOT a neighbour and suppose we are talking about wing mirrors. ie something that is not just cosmetic.
The door flies open and smashes the neighbouring vehicles wing mirror. Is there any difference between the damaged vehicle being a an old van and the executive version of a company car.

Does it make any difference if the owner of the damage vehicle had not bothered to fold in his wing mirrors?

Now suppose the situation was reversed and the luxury car owner smashed the mirror on the old van.

Perhaps both vehicles were negotiating the crowded car park at the same time and both were moving.

We have two broken wing mirrors.

Now what happens?
£35 down the scrap yard for the van and £1000 in the body shop for the posh car's heated washed mirror with integral flasher?

So depending on liability is it fair that the poor owner risks a claim of £1000 and the rich owner risks a claim for £35 ?
For one the solution is to open his wallet and proffer a note or two - for the other it has to be an insurance claim that will last for years and while we are at it, why not try for a bit of whip lash and other such compensation.

.....and we haven't even started to discuss the geography of the area. Is this a cheap country area accident or a crowded expensive metropolitan area?

BNT

Morally, I don't see how it makes a difference if the neighbour takes care of his stuff and keeps his car in pristine condition, if he is a slob driving around in a rust-bucket, or if he falls somewhere in between. Financially, the implications may differ, but morally it is the same -- your nephew, under your supervision, is responsible for damaging his property.

Financial considerations shouldn't cloud your moral judgment. Between you and you sister you need to work out who will tell him and offer to compensate. Your sister is the one who has to deal with the neighbour on a day-to-day basis, so it would make sense to involve her.

John_Pierpoint

BNT wrote: »

Morally, I don't see how it makes a difference if the neighbour takes care of his stuff and keeps his car in pristine condition, if he is a slob driving around in a rust-bucket,

There is a moral judgement there.

A banker in a Porsche is automatically a morally more worthwhile individual and useful member of society, than a hard working artisan in a 12 year old van and don't you forget it.

Unfortunately we do live in a society where people are judged by initial impressions.
".....we have had people in Mercs and Jags looking at this house - we never thought you in your little [5 year] old mini could afford to buy it."

Sometimes flaunting your wealth attracts the wrong sort of people.

I can still visualise a narrow one way street where I realised at the last moment that the van I was driving would not fit between a white Range Rover on the right and the row of parked cars on the left. As I started the process of reversing two hundred yards on wing mirrors I also noticed that the Range Rover had been left about 12" out from the curb and the car on the opposite side of the road had a wing mirror dangling on its wires.

It wasn't Chelsea but is wasn't far away.i

elvis86

Fishcakes wrote: »

You may describe a flashy sports car as "nice". I however, would describe them as ostentatious, egotistical symbols of avarice, conspicuous consumption, and brainwashed aspirational vulgarity. They exemplify to me much that is wrong with the modern world and people in general. So no, I am not jealous of flashy sports car owners, I just don't like them very much.

I may think that the top you're wearing is ugly and grossly inappropriate for someone of your age and shape; that doesn't give me the right to throw a can of paint over you as you queue at Greggs.

I might think that the naff little ornaments you have in your garden are tacky and low-rent; that doesn't give me the right to stand and throw stones over your garden wall in an impromtu game of target practice.

It's not for you to decide whether other people's possesions are "ostentatious" and therefore fair game for you and others to damage as you see fit.

What a disgusting attitude you have. I can only hope that those around you apply your logic to your own possessions.

I'm shocked at the significant number of people here who take "moneysaving" to a new level. It's not "MSE" to completely disregard the rights of others and to refuse to accept responsibility for your actions.

Ebenezer_Screwj

Tell your sister by all means - but why should you go halves ? Her child caused the damage, it is her moral dilemma.

ska_lover

Oooo a raging debate!

Honestly, I'd say nothing (and I am not saying that to fan the flames) if I thought I could get away with it.

I have a beautiful car, wonderfully looked after with private number plates on, and i have lost count of the times I have returned to it in a car park to find new dinks on it.In Tescos car park around 6 months ago, a woman actually accidentally drove her trolly into my car while I was sitting in it - she kind of hit it side on, whilst I was parked. I didn't get mad, she was struggling with a full trolly of shopping and a wiggling toddler. She apologised profuseley and I wouldnt have dreamed of demanding money from her. Sh*t happens in life.

Maybe the neighbour's car was too close? Maybe with a good bit of polish and a t-cut this could come out if it is a mark as stated and not a dent. Around 3 months ago, i paid for my car to go into the bodyshop for a general tidy up. These types of mark are not very expensive - for a colour match I would say if you are charged over £40 you are getting ripped off.

kessington

quite apart from any financial considerations (and the relationship between you and your sister and your sister and her neighbour) there is a real child safety concern here! You should never leave your car unlocked for a child to climb into, even for a moment. On this occasion no real harm has been done but the child could easily have locked themselves in, let off the handbrake and rolled the car, quite possibly into a busy street or onto another child or adult standing nearby. My uncle was all for encouraging his young son to play at driving the car - until this toddler rolled the car across a courtyard and through a barn wall. You and your sister have both been careless. Learn from the experience. A car door is much too heavy for a little child to safely manage in any case.

tozza

elvis86 wrote: »

Fishcakes wrote: »

You may describe a flashy sports car as "nice". I however, would describe them as ostentatious, egotistical symbols of avarice, conspicuous consumption, and brainwashed aspirational vulgarity. They exemplify to me much that is wrong with the modern world and people in general. So no, I am not jealous of flashy sports car owners, I just don't like them very much.

I may think that the top you're wearing is ugly and grossly inappropriate for someone of your age and shape; that doesn't give me the right to throw a can of paint over you as you queue at Greggs.

I might think that the naff little ornaments you have in your garden are tacky and low-rent; that doesn't give me the right to stand and throw stones over your garden wall in an impromtu game of target practice.

It's not for you to decide whether other people's possesions are "ostentatious" and therefore fair game for you and others to damage as you see fit.

What a disgusting attitude you have. I can only hope that those around you apply your logic to your own possessions.

I'm shocked at the significant number of people here who take "moneysaving" to a new level. It's not "MSE" to completely disregard the rights of others and to refuse to accept responsibility for your actions.

Thank goodness there are some on here with a sensible attitude - beautifully illustrated by Elvis - I was seriously considering leaving the MSE site if the kind of remarks I have read today were typical of the sort of people who I share with.
Saving money is one thing , but abrogating responsibility or downright dishonesty is a disgrace.I`m not sure what a "flashy sportscar" is,but all my working life I had classic sportscars as I lived in the hotels I managed or the restaurants I owned and didn`t need a boring commuter vehicle.I never earned above £15k in my life but certainly never resented what others spent on their hobbies or lifestyles.
Sad to think that we have to argue about ( discuss ) owning up to an accidental bump to a neighbour.......................as I reach 66 with a bit of prostate cancer I am glad I shall be leaving this country to such honourable,honest people - you`re welcome to it............................................

barrenelly

Not a good example for the little boy that you didn't go round next door straight away!
Preferably taking your sister and her son with you to explain what's happened.

I think you should ask your sister to split the bill with you, but if she won't, then you should pay for the damage. She can hardly stop it out of a three-year-old's pocket money.