Struggling :(

moneysavermum_2

bethan.haf wrote: »

Hi all,

first time posting on here!
I'm Beth - a 29yr old staff nurse who's working full time and really struggling to make ends meet. I have two children who live with me aged 3 and 5.
I'm going through a divorce at the min and am currently paying a rent on my current house, and half the mortgage on the 'marital home' as it is in both our names.....this is where it gets tricky, my soon to be ex husband doesn't work...he gets incapacity benefit and as this won't cover half the mortgage he also gets the child tax credit and the child benefit to help with costs even though the children live with me.
my problem is this....i can't afford to keep paying half the mortgage as its crippling me with all the other expenses....but my ex refuses to sell the house and can be quite horrible, no evil and manipulative and like his parents 'knows how to play the system'.
i did think of selling my half to a housing association but they don't do that around here any more (Powys, Wales).
I'm seeing the citizens advice on the 27th to see what they can suggest but any ideas greatfully received. can't afford solicitors again as have had to borrow money from parents to pay off their bill.
gutted also this morn as had a letter from tax office refusing to give me any money for laundering my scrubs for work...which have an NHS logo on them and have replaced our tunics(they are the Wales-wide 'smart scrubs'). WHY?!!!
aargh. I just need to win the lottery. I have sold stuff on ebay, facebook but now running out of things to sell.
please help anyone:(

Beth you need to first get all the childrens money back ie child benefit and child tax credit and go to a solicitor and apply for an occupation order. He needs to move out so you and your kids can move in. I dont know why you moved in the first place as you should have kicked him out. You really do need to be v strong for the children in makings sure you have all the money that you are entitled to. If you are going to get divorced you have to look at it like you and the kids are on your own. You dont fund your ex...hes an adult and needs to get an income.Once yu take the steps above you will not be so financially strapped. However as an experienced single parent I would say working full time will do you no good. Financially you are at max if you work 16-20 hours

moneysavermum_2

Domino9 wrote: »

The most obvious option from here seems to be that your ex move in to rented, and you and the kids move in to the house!

Would you be able to afford the full mortgage on the house on your own if you weren't paying rent?

D9

I agree with this statement 100% its the only way. The courts will not force a sale while there are minors still at home. He would have to wai for his share out when the youngest is 18

Coco114

Hi Beth
Keep smiling & keep reading - the guys on here give brilliant advice & m

Coco114

Oops ! And moral support
Very best of luck to you & your little ones - they are the only ones that count , not a bitter ex
Xx

Poosmate

I absolutely agree that you and the children should be in the matrimonal home and ex should move into rented. If you are running a home and paying half a mortgage you must be able to cope on your own without the added expense of the rent.

You need to get this sorted as part of the settlement. If you feel you owe anything to your ex (i.e. if there is an amount of equity in the house) this needs to be agreed for you to pay him off and get him off the mortgage or agree that the house will be sold and the equity divvied up at that time. As I said, this all needs to be put in writing and dealt with by your solicitor dealing with your divorce/settlement.

Poo