Have got here despite lack of support

Samsaragirl

Tried to get in touch with womens aid for years. Was told to either go to a different location,or, when did go to the nearest, virtually on my knees, by bus, was told the funding was not accessible in my area.

Bit like my elderly parents have experienced really.

Forgotten few. Silent not heard.

Have posted on here sporadically for a while, and, as I'm sure you all realised , I think I had a breakdown after my divorce.
I have seen gp (refused medication, but a wonderful new lady gp who is very supportive). and got immediate counselling, still ongoing.
Without going through the whole story, I have been 'stuck' for ages, but now feel strong enough to move on and make choices.
To put it in a nutshell (if poss), I was married from 21 to 43, now divorced and 47.
Ex drove me into the ground emotionally, spent all the joint 'funds', then left me. I got all the assets at the time of separation, ie equity in the property and joint lives maintenance, but not enough to move on financially. He's a financial bully earning 90k and living with daddy.
Everything hit at once, as parents desperatelly ill and needy, youngest turned 18, but still lives with me though at uni.....
Big nutshell, but that is brief :-)
So. I feel so disillusioned. I am on benefits. Stuck in a large house, with a large mortgage, and high maintenance (not me :-)) My dignity, self esteem, hopes, dreams and ambitions are gone.
Actually that's not true, I never lose hope.
All the work experience I have is in many call centres which I did out of boredom betweeen his periods of working away. He has a massive career which he built during our marriage, earning nearly 3 digits. That is despite my grammar school education, but how times change.
Where do I start to repair this?
I have started to stop isolating myself, but I have 20 years plus working life ahead of me.
the world has changed so much though.
One crazy thought I have is to get fit, and slimmer almost as a 'job', a focus, and use the many skills such as nlp and healing I have acquired , massage, alternative therapies, and divorce experience etc, to start an alternative weight loss, fitness, motivation group for women like myself.
Could not do it like weight watchers etc though as PAYG though could I? Or could IK, as would have to make an income.
Was thinking of a sort of small weigh in group with an exercise option, so me training as an exercise instructor? And then a yoga teacher, then... My weight and self image is holding me back.
Could I maybe get funding from local authority to run classes/support groups?
This is all pie in the sky and just womdered what you think?

McKneff

Not pie in the sky, go girl, only you know your limits.

Your positive thinkinig is inspirational..............:j:j:j

Annie

WantToBeFree

I think its a fantastic idea!

You could start by researching similar business models, I know many towns have independant centres which encompass many alternative therapies, life coaching, health and fitness programmes. Is this something you would want to do alone or perhaps find other like minded people with relevant skills and set something up together.

Find out as much as you can online, funding, premises, costs etc

Shame I dont know you as this would be an avenue I myself would be very much interested in

sparrer

Good for you! With such a positive attitude I can't see anything holding you back. I can't help with start-up advice but it sounds like you've already started your research, let us know when you're up and running

Dontknowanymore

Life is just beginning!
Rosemary connely weightloss classes do a bit of excersise i'm sure of it, maybe try them?

cazziebo

I think you have hit on a brilliant idea- and you certainly sound positive and inspiring enough to make it work.

What about learning a few therapies? Some are quick short courses eg Reiki, aromatherapy etc and then longer term skills like shiatsu?

The challenge is getting your first customers, but if you manage that and you're good then word of mouth-the cheapest and most effective form of marketing-will keep you busy.

One of my friends offered to do free talks at Ladies Circle, Rural Institutes etc and got off to a flying start.

Best of luck!

Samsaragirl

Thank you, thank you, thasnk you. I am so in a carers lonely bubble, I start to question myself.

Just trying to evaluate as have been surpressed for so long

Will be back, but thanks for replying :-)

meritaten

Samsaragirl - some good suggestions above! but, first you need to leave the past behind you. The fact you needed to tell us about how much your ex earns etc, tells me that you havent quite got it out of your head yet! NOT criticising you hun - you seem to be coming along very well!
try some of the alternative therapies as a 'fact finding mission'! you may find them helpful and/or you may find your 'calling'.
in fact I would say that life coaching may be what you need right now. Counselling deals with the past - life coaching deals with the future. just make sure you research a reputable life coach - there are a lot of charlatans out there!
whatever you choose to do - I think you are so brave, I really admire you! Go for it girl - and dont look back!

sassyblue

samsaragirl, l'm so sorry to read you couldn't get the help you needed l thought things would be tough for these aid agencies but l didn't think women would be turned away..... and yet, despite that you have managed to (almost) get where you want to be... sending cyber strength and good luck for your future, you sound an amazing lady and l'm sure you'll find much happiness.. xxx

Mojisola

Depending where you are in the country, there may be a women's business support group like WIRE who would be worth contacting. Everyone in the group will have been at that scary, "how do I get started?" stage at some point and will be very supportive.

Northern_Princess

I was once where you are, married to the high earner and I was a bird in a guilded cage really now I think back. It's so hard to get out there again with no confidence, BUT you WILL do it with little steps at a time :T I had the get fit again feeling as well. I started going to zumba classes which I loved. I went for 3 years and last year qualified as an instructor. I do it 3 nights a week now as well as my full time job and I'm only a few years younger than you You CAN and WILL find "you" again, it just takes time. Now get out there and start living x