Ex Boyfriend Debt - Advise please?

vax2002

Stop paying him anything, when he contacts you tell him the police have "WARNED YOU" that you must not have any contact with him until the investigation is complete.
He will !!!! himself and never bother you again.

JoeyCat_2

Teacher2301 wrote: »

First of all, welcome - you will be helped here as there are loads of people who know what they are talking about. I'm really sorry for your situation but I do have a question.

Relationship debt? Which debt is this? Items you buy together are jointly owned so I assume they got split up evenly. Even a legal divorce isn't this dogmatic.

The thing that worries me is that he may well have tried this tactic before - meet someone, move in and set up a nice home with some nice goods, then do the nasty. Afterwards, prey on an emotional victim and bully them to sign (was it under threat? We have some tough laws on gaining signatures under intimidation I suspect) and demand this relationship debt. Totally un-enforceable.

I wont say what you should do but if he is doing this 'routinely' you may not be the first or the last. You have had the common sense to ask for help, the next girlfriend may not. Difficult moral dilemma I know and sorry for raising it but it does worry me when I read these things and what some people are capable of.

Thanks

From what I can fathom:

- Gifts he bought
- The house deposit (we paid half each) but when he collected his stuff after I left the property - yes he refused to remove his belongings those final months - he absolutely trashed the place.
- "Emergency money" - I don't understand this!
- Cost of white goods (they were second hand, we paid half each. I took the fridge and left him the cooker.

The truth is, he got a platinum barclaycard and bought himself a car and a macbook, then quit his job and because I was a soft touch and a bit vulnerable ( I found out I had been cheated on, rendered heartbroken and left with a property that I couldn't afford on my own) he saw me as his repayment cash cow, perhaps because I have a successful career and was easy gain.

I feel utterly foolish!

I doubt he tried this before. At 28 I was his first proper girlfriend.

JoeyCat_2

bouncyd!!! wrote: »

Log the harrassment with the police.
Change your email address as a matter of urgency.
Be very grateful every day that you got away from this total and absolute waste of space.
Move on and find somebody who deserves you - that way you will find your self-confidence starts to build.
Good luck - and each time you think you might waiver post back for support!;)

Thank you for the beautiful message x

vax2002

Happens to everyone ONCE !
It is part of life's littler learning curve I am afraid.
Looks like your lesson is over.

jc808

JoeyCat wrote: »

I doubt he tried this before. At 28 I was his first proper girlfriend.

lol.........

chesky369

For a start you do not owe him anything for gifts - gifts are gifts, he has no right over them.
He owes you for the rent he did not pay to the end of your tenancy.
You do not owe him for the white goods - even if you can't prove it, doesn't matter, tell him to sue you (but he can't as he doesn't know your address).
He is harassing you and that is a matter for the police.
Change your e-mail address.
Just to bolster your confidence in this matter, have a look on the thread 'lending money to friends and relatives' where you will see the luck people have when they HAVE lent money and the fact they will hardly ever, ever get it back, even though they have a moral right (which your ex doesn't).
Forget him.

geoffky

Treat it as proof that the guy is a tit...laugth at him next time because he is off his head..