Ex Boyfriend Debt - Advise please?

sariebeth

He sounds like a terrible person. And I have never in my whole life heard of someone charging for a "relationship debt"! It's complete madness.

And surely in a relationship you both put in and draw out - emotion, love, money, support etc.

My thoughts here (and I'm no lawyer) are;

a) you signed the "contract" under duress and extreme emotional pressure
b) the "contract" is bulls**t anyway
c) he hasn't provided any evidence of the money he is claiming for
d) he is breaking the law by harrassing you, whether you actually owe him money or not
e) I don't think you really owe him anything
f) he owes you for not paying the rent to the end of the contract

I seriously recommend you contact the police about the harassment and the threats he's made (re: getting your address through work/friends/family). And I would make a record of every threat he's made, and everytime he contacts you.

Maybe worth sending an email stating "this email address will no longer be in use after todays date. I will no longer respond to correspondence from you"

Something like that. Then change your email addy.

Good luck with everything! x

sariebeth

Oh and DONT SEND HIM ANY MORE MONEY! NOT A PENNY xx

JoeyCat_2

DUTR wrote: »

However post #8 suggests both are playing tit for tat, the police won't warn him, they will probably BOTH get in a little telling off from the seargeant.
I'm sure your comment 'hammer him' is tongue in cheek?

It's really not tit for tat, when I mean X,Y,Z I'm not playing games. I am just trying to get on top of my financial situation and I'd just like to get a grip on what I owe and why. That is literally all I have asked for.

Also I wanted the agreement so I could take it to a solicitor or the CAB - it's naturally the first thing they'll ask to see.

Elvisia

Go to the CAB in the first instance, they can help you even without this agreement. I'm not a lawyer, so don't quote me on this, but surely you can't just write up a contract off your own back and then sell the debt on.

I think personally it's you who's got him by the nuts, not the other way around. I don't think he has any legal footing with this made up contract, and he is harassing you. My advice, if it were me, is to just cut off all contact. The more you contact him, the more he thinks he's liable to get some money. You are enabling him to continue the harassment, when in fact you can take control back over this situation. I would speak to CAB, then speak to your local police station, and make sure it is all logged. Then unless they suggest otherwise I would ignore him.

The police do get involved in matters, or at least my local police did, we had a rude phone caller who spoke to my mum and she was so upset I rang up the local police in a fury. They sent round an officer and said they take this sort of thing seriously, traced the call and went round this boy's house. That was just a fruity phone call, I would imagine for harassment they'd take it more seriously. But don't keep feeding him, he sounds like a troll!!

Good luck with it all, I know how completely draining these things can be.

BitterAndTwisted

Unless he has documentary evidence of this "debt" and precisely how he arrived at that figure, you don't owe him a single penny. I'm horrified that you appear to have paid him £1.5k already. Do not pay him a farthing more. Ever.

He is not a licensed lender so cannot legally charge you any interest in any case.

He's claiming you owe him for the value of the gifts he bought you? This tells you everything you ever needed to know about what a slime-ball he is. If him bailing and not paying you his half-share of the rent didn't.

He can wave whatever signed bits of paper he likes, even in court if he ever gets there, but he cannot compel you to pay him any more money. He would need your postal address to serve the summons, which he does not have.

Do not reply to any more of his harassment and change your email address after one more message to him and that message should read " Do not contact me ever again. I do not owe you a penny, so please stop your vile harassment. If you think I owe you anything, think about the four month's of rent you left me to pay alone. Goodbye you a-hole. Karma's a b i t c h so I suggest you watch your back."

pauletruth

now you need to calculate what he owes you. as a side issue he can't set up contracts like that they would be covered by the cca. has he will not have a licence to deal in credit he is breakin criminal law. however if he signed the lease then he is liable for his share. trying to claim cost for a failed relationship would be laughed out of court.

JoeyCat_2

Thank you for the support guys.
I have called my local police. I have an appointment on Sunday. They said it's a bit sketchy as it's a civil matter as I suspected but I'll take a trundle down with the emails and see what they say.

If nothing else, it's on the record now.

JoeyCat_2

pauletruth wrote: »

now you need to calculate what he owes you. as a side issue he can't set up contracts like that they would be covered by the cca. has he will not have a licence to deal in credit he is breakin criminal law. however if he signed the lease then he is liable for his share. trying to claim cost for a failed relationship would be laughed out of court.

He claims (after the event) that he had a debt solicitor draw it up.

A likely tale.

Teacher2301

First of all, welcome - you will be helped here as there are loads of people who know what they are talking about. I'm really sorry for your situation but I do have a question.

Relationship debt? Which debt is this? Items you buy together are jointly owned so I assume they got split up evenly. Even a legal divorce isn't this dogmatic.

The thing that worries me is that he may well have tried this tactic before - meet someone, move in and set up a nice home with some nice goods, then do the nasty. Afterwards, prey on an emotional victim and bully them to sign (was it under threat? We have some tough laws on gaining signatures under intimidation I suspect) and demand this relationship debt. Totally un-enforceable.

I wont say what you should do but if he is doing this 'routinely' you may not be the first or the last. You have had the common sense to ask for help, the next girlfriend may not. Difficult moral dilemma I know and sorry for raising it but it does worry me when I read these things and what some people are capable of.

bouncydog1

Log the harrassment with the police.
Change your email address as a matter of urgency.
Be very grateful every day that you got away from this total and absolute waste of space.
Move on and find somebody who deserves you - that way you will find your self-confidence starts to build.
Good luck - and each time you think you might waiver post back for support!;)