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Ex Boyfriend Debt - Advise please?
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Hello 
I'm new here. I joined because I would like some advise. I separated from a guy about 1 year ago (it was a short relationship, we were together about 9 months). The breakup was very upsetting for me (another woman was involved) and as a result I became very ill with depression.
We rented a property together, in joint names, and he left the property 4 months before the contract was due to expire. He did not pay a penny towards the rent after he left.
Afterward, he bombarded me with emails and phone calls pressuring me to sign a contract he had drawn up, so I could pay him back the "relationship debt", this being the cost of up taking the house, money back for apparent items we had bought for the house and things he had bought for me.
He tallied this up to £4k (plus 20% apr!) and because he put me under enormous amount of pressure and because I was very close to complete mental meltdown, (I was on anti depressants) I signed this contract to get him off my back.
When I left the property I had to move into a 1 bedroom short term let for a while, which was very uncomfortable considering I have an 8 year old daughter. The whole thing was very unpleasant.
A year down the line, I now have my own place and am much stronger but I have been looking at my finances and it's tough making ends meet. I decided to stop burying my head in the sand and did some money juggling and I fished out the contract he drew up. I could only find an email draft of this.
For the life of me, I can't understand how he came to a very exact figure - I footed a lot of cost for that house and he certainly never lent me a penny. Also, yes he'd bought me gifts (an iphone for example) but it was a gift. I don't feel I owe him any money - especially as I have already transferred him £1.5K over the last year
The contract is very aggressive and states that I am signing away his liability for the last few months rent, that I must pay him back this sum and the apr and if not he is going to sell on the debt to a 3rd party debt collector. No solicitors were present and I did not seek legal advise. He basically ran me down until I signed it.
I contacted him and asked him for the FULL executed agreement (scanned, signed by all parties). So far he refuses to provide it. I have also asked for a full breakdown of the apparent sum owed, with proof. He refuses to give me this information too. He says he doesn't have to and won't because I signed the contract.
His emails are never "You owe me this money so please pay it back", it's more about "You signed the contract so cough up or else".
He doesn't have my address - I refused to give it to him because it bothered me how more he was harassing me, and he is now suggesting that he will contact my employers and friends to try and get my address so he can "sell on the debt". I know he can't gain my address this way, but it's quite upsetting for me.
In all honesty, I would prefer this to go through small claims, but he refuses to go through this route.
Can an individual use a third party debt collection agency? (even if it's noted in an agreement)
Where do I stand if he won't provide the contract or a break down?
What is the outcome likely to be if he does go to small claims?
Will he have to apply to a court in my city (we live a long distance away)
This is causing me a massive amount of worry. I have cancelled the standing order but the emails have been arriving since and are very unpleasant. It's not nice being threatened with debt collectors!
I can't afford a solicitor so I would appreciate any advise you guys may have on this
Thanks
J
I'm new here. I joined because I would like some advise. I separated from a guy about 1 year ago (it was a short relationship, we were together about 9 months). The breakup was very upsetting for me (another woman was involved) and as a result I became very ill with depression.
We rented a property together, in joint names, and he left the property 4 months before the contract was due to expire. He did not pay a penny towards the rent after he left.
Afterward, he bombarded me with emails and phone calls pressuring me to sign a contract he had drawn up, so I could pay him back the "relationship debt", this being the cost of up taking the house, money back for apparent items we had bought for the house and things he had bought for me.
He tallied this up to £4k (plus 20% apr!) and because he put me under enormous amount of pressure and because I was very close to complete mental meltdown, (I was on anti depressants) I signed this contract to get him off my back.
When I left the property I had to move into a 1 bedroom short term let for a while, which was very uncomfortable considering I have an 8 year old daughter. The whole thing was very unpleasant.
A year down the line, I now have my own place and am much stronger but I have been looking at my finances and it's tough making ends meet. I decided to stop burying my head in the sand and did some money juggling and I fished out the contract he drew up. I could only find an email draft of this.
For the life of me, I can't understand how he came to a very exact figure - I footed a lot of cost for that house and he certainly never lent me a penny. Also, yes he'd bought me gifts (an iphone for example) but it was a gift. I don't feel I owe him any money - especially as I have already transferred him £1.5K over the last year
The contract is very aggressive and states that I am signing away his liability for the last few months rent, that I must pay him back this sum and the apr and if not he is going to sell on the debt to a 3rd party debt collector. No solicitors were present and I did not seek legal advise. He basically ran me down until I signed it.
I contacted him and asked him for the FULL executed agreement (scanned, signed by all parties). So far he refuses to provide it. I have also asked for a full breakdown of the apparent sum owed, with proof. He refuses to give me this information too. He says he doesn't have to and won't because I signed the contract.
His emails are never "You owe me this money so please pay it back", it's more about "You signed the contract so cough up or else".
He doesn't have my address - I refused to give it to him because it bothered me how more he was harassing me, and he is now suggesting that he will contact my employers and friends to try and get my address so he can "sell on the debt". I know he can't gain my address this way, but it's quite upsetting for me.
In all honesty, I would prefer this to go through small claims, but he refuses to go through this route.
Can an individual use a third party debt collection agency? (even if it's noted in an agreement)
Where do I stand if he won't provide the contract or a break down?
What is the outcome likely to be if he does go to small claims?
Will he have to apply to a court in my city (we live a long distance away)
This is causing me a massive amount of worry. I have cancelled the standing order but the emails have been arriving since and are very unpleasant. It's not nice being threatened with debt collectors!
I can't afford a solicitor so I would appreciate any advise you guys may have on this
Thanks
J
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Comments
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Don't worry as such, he cannot levy the contract and especially the interest.
only the court of judge judy may entertain the claim.
Good luck.0 -
Just tell him to go away and act like a man.0
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contact the police
its harassment0 -
Change your e-mail address.:snow_grin"Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow........":snow_grin0
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Ignore it and don't pay anymore, unless you think you do owe the money. If you don't feel you owe it, dispute it!
He can take you to court, but you can counter-claim it.
Really I wouldn't worry too much about it - sounds like he's a bully, so lose your 'I'm a victim' tag, deep breaths, and move on.
(But in case he does take you to court, write down everything now with as much back-up, emails, witnesses etc as possible, in date order - judges love chronology).0 -
If no solicitors were present,no witnesses present and signed his "contract" isnt worth the paper its printed on.Just inform him if he continues to harass you it will be reported to the police.Im certainly no lawyer but from what you have said it sounds like he is demanding money with menaces and I think the police may see it as such,good luck.0
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Thanks guys. I considered contacting the police, but as it's a civil issue, I'm not sure they'd be interested.
He did demand I get a witness signature, I just got a colleague to scrawl on it at the time (again, for a quiet life at the time)
As for my responses, I have been very business like and straight down the line. I have asked for X,Y,Z and said that if he doesn't produce it then I will be junk-mailing him.
He hasn't provided what I asked for (and I suspect I am legally entitled for) and have ignored the bully-bully emails since, but I'm not a lawyer so I'm not entirely sure where I stood in terms of law.
I was more concerned about hired thugs turning up on my doorstep, to be honest - or the embarrassment at work.0 -
He certainly cannot 'sell the debt' as no company that I know of would buy such a debt. Debt Collection Companies only buy debts from reputable companies, and then only for about 10p in the £ or much less."There are not enough superlatives in the English language to describe a 'Princess Coronation' locomotive in full cry. We shall never see their like again". O S Nock0
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Thanks guys. I considered contacting the police, but as it's a civil issue, I'm not sure they'd be interested.
He did demand I get a witness signature, I just got a colleague to scrawl on it at the time (again, for a quiet life at the time)
As for my responses, I have been very business like and straight down the line. I have asked for X,Y,Z and said that if he doesn't produce it then I will be junk-mailing him.
He hasn't provided what I asked for (and I suspect I am legally entitled for) and have ignored the bully-bully emails since, but I'm not a lawyer so I'm not entirely sure where I stood in terms of law.
I was more concerned about hired thugs turning up on my doorstep, to be honest - or the embarrassment at work.
bullying threats harrassment etc are not civil issues
the police will warn him off once
then they will arrest him
once you start this ball rolling they cannot be seen to let you be in any way open to danger (from him)
I would hammer him!0 -
glasgowsaver2011 wrote: »bullying threats harrassment etc are not civil issues
the police will warn him off once
then they will arrest him
once you start this ball rolling they cannot be seen to let you be in any way open to danger (from him)
I would hammer him!
However post #8 suggests both are playing tit for tat, the police won't warn him, they will probably BOTH get in a little telling off from the seargeant.
I'm sure your comment 'hammer him' is tongue in cheek?0
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