Dro advice please

hethmar

Our estranged son recently contacted us in dire circumstances. He has not worked since last October due to an arm injury and literally hadnt eaten for days when he rang. The few personal possession he had were in a pawn shop.

He is autistic, severely dyslexic and ADHD. He is not an easy person to deal with and has trouble sticking to ANY employment/relationships or renting.

He has now gone to live with an ex girlfriend (on and off for 3 years) and she is currently on short time at work so he has been a real drain on her circumstances too. She is now being treated for depression.

He has no transport and lives in a rural area. Ive managed to get him an appointment with a CAB debts advisor and also a benefits adviser as he has been making no claims at all as he is unable to understand or complete the forms.

We have paid their council tax which was outstanding, given them a lot of groceries and some cash, a mobile phone and redeemed some of the basics, such as their tv, from the pawn shop.

He owes in the region of £10k. What I want to know really, will the fact that he is in effect "co habiting" affect the application for the DRO? I feel sorry for the girl as she is on a debt management for her own debts and really struggling herself. Will her income be taken into account for his debts?

Im just hoping he actually turns up at the appointment and keeps up with the things he has to do. He tends to destroy any letters sent to him and we had been returning them to sender for several months now if they arrived at our address.

We have also fended off lots of phone calls from credit card companies and debt collectors. He has obviously been giving our address as his home address when he applied for these cards. God knows how he got them when he has had very little or no income for so long.

aimzee84

Hello.. It sounds like your son is having a hard time of it, but it is so positive that you are supporting him. The fact he is cohabiting will not have any bearing on a DRO-it simply takes into account an individuals income and amount of debt. It can seem like a long hard slog-I'm part way through my application now, just waiting for the go ahead to pay my fee, but as soon as I had started the process it was a massive weight off my shoulders. If your son can't attend the CAB interview, perhaps consider a charity that offers the service too? I used CCCS.. you mentioned your son tends to destroy mail sent to him? CCCS will post all the paperwork needed to an alternative address, and you could contact them in the first instance on his behalf? I only say to consider trying somewhere else because I have heard that the CAB service can vary enormously depending on your location..! CCCS is on the phone or online, I liked this because sometimes a face to face interview can seem quite daunting and off putting..
Unfortunately a lot of lenders don't really care whether you can afford to pay back what you owe-especially those with high APRs.. I fell into that trap when I was told I could borrow £14000 on a monthly salary of £550! It just wasn't do-able..
I really hope things work out for you, and your son. And please tell him not to be ashamed or worried. There are lots of people in the same situation and asking for help is the first-and biggest-step.

hethmar

Many thanks. That CCCS people sound great - Ive been reading through the thread.

Unfortunately, due to his various conditions he would be unable to complete the paperwork by himself and will need someone to guide him every second through this Ive given them a mobile with some credit so they can ring me and me them (sadly, he will probably ring his "mates" who got him into this in the first place, he is very gullible and naive/immature for his age, part of the condition and I can see now that a lot of the money has gone to others, not him:() Anyway, Ive just rung them and told them everything they need to take with them tomorrow.

The girl (who to add to the trauma has just lost a second parent in a year - its incredible how sad all this is) has a debt management agreement or something for her debts with a company. She said something before about it taking her 12 years to clear. Reading through threads on here Ive told her to take that info with her tomorrow as it looks like that may be able to be changed for a better deal through authorised services. Please god that it will.

Aimzee, I wish my son did feel a bit of shame - unfortunately, as part of his condition he doesnt really recognize that sort of feeling. We became estranged because he is terribly selfish and will be aggressive if you try to advise him. I have warned the CAB about all this. But yes, he has been so worried and depressed and I could have cried myself for them.

aimzee84

Try not to worry too much.. I know it's hard-heaven knows I've put my family through it before finally admitting I was in a mess and getting help!! I hope all goes well tomorrow. Keep us up to date. And don't forget-these boards are here to help every step of the way-I can't describe hoow amazingg the people on here are!

hethmar

Thank god. CAB have told him 2/3 weeks and his debts will be clear. The weight off our shoulders, let alone his, is tremendous. I shall have to write out a cheque for £90 for him now.

They also looked at girlfriends debt management agreement and told her they can wipe that too.

One worry I have still is that at the moment their outgoings far outweigh their income. He is earning zilch and she is only earning about £600 a month and their living/rent and everything else comes out of that.

IF he manages to get a job within those 12 months of the DRO or her wages increase (she is on short time due to recession) will the DRO be revoked? And is the £50 a month surplus allowed for each of them?

caz2003uk

hethmar wrote: »

Thank god. CAB have told him 2/3 weeks and his debts will be clear. The weight off our shoulders, let alone his, is tremendous. I shall have to write out a cheque for £90 for him now.

They also looked at girlfriends debt management agreement and told her they can wipe that too.

One worry I have still is that at the moment their outgoings far outweigh their income. He is earning zilch and she is only earning about £600 a month and their living/rent and everything else comes out of that.

IF he manages to get a job within those 12 months of the DRO or her wages increase (she is on short time due to recession) will the DRO be revoked? And is the £50 a month surplus allowed for each of them?

Hi,

Well done in encouraging your son to seek advice!

Just to make sure you are aware, he will not be 'debt free' when the DRO is approved..he will become debt free once the 12 month moratorium period is complete assuming it is not revoked before hand.

Your son and girlfriend's DRO's are individual so £50 surplus is technically per person although when the SOA is completed this takes into account the fact that your son is liable for his share of the rent etc.

If your son gets a job, it wont be the job that will affect the chances of the DRO being revoked...its if your son after being paid, and paying out his share of the outgoings on the home etc has more than £50 surplus left over.