What do i do?

bramble1

I'm not sure where people are getting the idea i want a big flash wedding.... I just want to be married. For as little as possible. BUT I'm only doing it once so i'm not doing on the cheap!! Dress is going to made as a present by relatives, cake/invitations/favours/flowers/decorations i'm making myself, photography again is going to be a present. The reception it taking place on our own land, and there will be buffet not a sit down meal. It's not going to be a lavish affair, but just a great day surrounded by the people i love.

I'm not even fussed about going on a honeymoon, if we did it'd be on english soil!

suburbanwifey

bramble1 wrote: »

I'm not sure where people are getting the idea i want a big flash wedding.... I just want to be married. For as little as possible. BUT I'm only doing it once so i'm not doing on the cheap!! Dress is going to made as a present by relatives, cake/invitations/favours/flowers/decorations i'm making myself, photography again is going to be a present. The reception it taking place on our own land, and there will be buffet not a sit down meal. It's not going to be a lavish affair, but just a great day surrounded by the people i love.

I'm not even fussed about going on a honeymoon, if we did it'd be on english soil!

Can I ask about your quote of "The reception is taking place on our own land" when you have said you won't ever own a house of your own? This your parents land or his parents land?

rising_from_the_ashes

bramble1 wrote: »

I'm not sure where people are getting the idea i want a big flash wedding.... I just want to be married. For as little as possible. BUT I'm only doing it once so i'm not doing on the cheap!! Dress is going to made as a present by relatives, cake/invitations/favours/flowers/decorations i'm making myself, photography again is going to be a present. The reception it taking place on our own land, and there will be buffet not a sit down meal. It's not going to be a lavish affair, but just a great day surrounded by the people i love.

I'm not even fussed about going on a honeymoon, if we did it'd be on english soil!

So ...... use the money to pay off the debts and save the £200 for a year and you'll have more than enough to cover a wedding as above (sounds lovely btw:)).

It'll be even more satisfying knowing you've paid for it without having to get into debt for it .....

bramble1

suburbanwifey wrote: »

Can I ask about your quote of "The reception is taking place on our own land" when you have said you won't ever own a house of your own? This your parents land or his parents land?

parents land, we will never own anywhere!

bramble1

rising_from_the_ashes wrote: »

So ...... use the money to pay off the debts and save the £200 for a year and you'll have more than enough to cover a wedding as above (sounds lovely btw:)).

It'll be even more satisfying knowing you've paid for it without having to get into debt for it .....

I know i should.... i think i'm going to have to sit down do some sums and make some offers. or split it and put some towards a the wedding, the rest towards the debt.

It's just frustrating, because as it is we don't go on holiday, go out for meals or do anything fun, we just work! I dream of doing something just for myself one day!

suburbanwifey

bramble1 wrote: »

parents land, we will never own anywhere!

How can you say that you will never own anywhere. Life is a very long time and the future can never be predicted. You may have a change in fortune, someone may die and leave you money, you may win the lottery! don't write off ever owning a home or being in a position to buy one and the sooner you pay that debt off, the sooner that 6 year clock on the debts being removed from your credit history begins. It is only then you will be able to get a good mortgage with a clear credit history.

Angry_Bear

Even in the case that you're 0% on all your borrowing, paying back 10k at £200 per month (how the heck are you managing that?!) would take you 4 and a bit years ... much more if you've got interest. On the other hand, pay off the debt and you could be married for (almost) £5k in two years.

You get to start your married life debt free, you can look at having children knowing that you have £200 extra a month to pay for them, you could start saving for a deposit.

I really don't understand why you don't see a significant financial benefit from 'only' £200 extra per month.

suburbanwifey

bramble1 wrote: »

I know i should.... i think i'm going to have to sit down do some sums and make some offers. or split it and put some towards a the wedding, the rest towards the debt.

It's just frustrating, because as it is we don't go on holiday, go out for meals or do anything fun, we just work! I dream of doing something just for myself one day!

Our first 5 years were spent like that, and many more. We worked and worked and it was crap. But that is what has to happen to progress in life, to build your dreams, to get what you want.

Someone a few years ago said to me 'You're lucky you know, I envy you so much'

I replied 'Its funny, the harder we have worked, the luckier we become' and that's so true. Luck doesn't exist. Having a goal and working towards it, however improbable it sounds, is the way to go.

Decide what you want out of life then decide how you are going to go about getting it.

You have 2 choices - debt free or the wedding of your dreams. You need to decide which is best for you, for him, for now and for the future. Build your dreams and if you want that home of your own one day, its perfectly possible, it really is, but no dream comes true without hard work and sacrifice (others call that luck)

rising_from_the_ashes

bramble1 wrote: »

It's just frustrating, because as it is we don't go on holiday, go out for meals or do anything fun, we just work! I dream of doing something just for myself one day!

Sorry, not trying to harp on .... but ..... if you clear the debts, say put the £200 aside for a year and pay for the wedding, then you've still got £200 left after that to start being able to enjoy the "finer things in life" again.:)

If you use the money for the wedding and leave the debts as they are - you'll still be in the same boat with not being able to afford things as all you money's going on debt repayments .....

kezlou

Hi Bramble,

This is what i would do as you say you really want to get married.
Please don't be offended ame and my OH have been together for 12 and half years, will be 13 in May. We have two children aged 11 and 7 yrs, we were both stupid to get into debt AFTER we got together but hey ho its done and were paying it off. You can start a family whenever being married is not make bringing up a family easier or hardier.

This is what i would do with the money.
a) Place £2000 for the wedding, maybe see about actually having the registrar marry you on the land your having the reception on. I know a few people who have done this in they yard / flat / house and its far cheaper than a church. You know what less hassle and above all you get a great view!

b) See which debts would be the best financially in the short run to pay off. Pay these and see whats left over and maybe pay it off more debt or place more on the wedding.

That way you get to marry the man you love and clear some debt off at the same time. As you say your not bothered about the honeymoon you just want to have a nice wedding on a budget.

You can do the above, but trust me when i say this, having a bit of extra cash in your pocket is great when you have none. Self employment is hard but you can do it.

congratulations :T:D