Church marriage class, what should we expect?

ianbar0

We are getting married in may in our local church of England church. Part of doing this we have to go to some marriage class on Saturday, run by a local vicar. Has anyone been to one before? Thank you

Nicki

Content may depend on your local vicar!

We went to one when we got married 22 years ago. It was just the two of us and the vicar and I think we had half a dozen sessions. We talked about things like our expectations of marriage, what the vows meant, our views on children, our relationship with parents, how we would resolve issues which arise over the years etc.

Ours wasn't very bible focused, though there was a bit of that, and didn't involve any public praying but that might vary depending on the style of the vicar, and also on whether you are actually church goers or just getting married in church.

ianbar0

Think thre is just the one visit and more couples from what we know. The vicar holding it did my mums funeral so I know a little what she is like. I know we get sandwiches which is nice lol

Desperado99

Ooh I remember our marriage class! it was hilarious!!!!!!

The vicar decided to get all the couples that were getting married that summer together to watch a video that took us through the vows. I distinctly remember sitting next to a lad that I used to go to school with. It was all perfectly civilised until we got to "with my body, I thee worship" at which point a suitably steamy scene appeared onscreen.

there was some childish sniggering

Still makes me laugh now :rotfl:

Nicki

ianbar0 wrote: »

Think thre is just the one visit and more couples from what we know. The vicar holding it did my mums funeral so I know a little what she is like. I know we get sandwiches which is nice lol

In which case I'm guessing its probably a quick gallop through the service and what all the bits mean, and send you away to think which of a couple of options you might want (eg omit or include "obey", sermon or not)

anmarj

ohhh I remember ours (catholic church) there were several couples ( and one happended to be a work colleague) she spent the day complaining how they had to this (workaholics both of them) and we had a one to one discussion with our partner about what our expectation in the bedroom were;) can't remember much else!:p

MrsManda

There were about 6 couples when we had ours. We got some information about what was available in terms of the service but mainly it was a chat to ensure that we had considered relevant things before getting married. Along the lines of have you discussed how you're going to deal with money, do you want children, how would you want to bring up your children, where are you going to live etc...

We weren't made to discuss our personal plans with the group, it was more a chance for the vicar to ensure we'd discussed things in our own time and for us to be able to ask questions.

Apparently a lot of people go to get married without ever actively discussing money/kids/living arrangements and just presume the other person in the couple feels the same as they do then end up having marriage counselling when they realise that their partner has completely different views to them.

Gingham_R

Ours was really useful. It was just us and the priest and it helped us work out what exactly our ethos was about the whole thing. Eg he talked about adultery and how it extends way beyond having sex with other people - it is about how we respect each other and choose not to talk each other down in front of others.

We also went through what readings we wanted. That was fun. "No, I can't have that. It's sexist." was a recurring phrase I used!

Gloomendoom

We ended up driving a 100 miles every Saturday for six weeks to attend ours as the now Mrs G wanted to get married in the same church as her parents did. By coincidence, one of Mrs G's old school friends was on the same course.

The classes were actually quite interesting, although we felt that there was too much emphasis on the evils of pornography and not nearly enough on the subject of children.

The C of E course follows a pretty standard format countrywide and is pretty light hearted. Overall, I think they are a good idea.

Emmarillo

Ours was hilarious. We were with one other couple (the lady was heavily pregnant). Mens and womens differing sexual needs were explained by a man being like a kettle and a woman like a toaster- the kettle heats up faster, but if you put them on at the same time, they tend to boil and pop up at the same time. It was very hard to keep a straight face.

Gingham_R

Gloomendoom wrote: »

The classes were actually quite interesting, although we felt that there was too much emphasis on the evils of pornography and not nearly enough on the subject of children..

Seriously? :rotfl: Thank goodness our lessons didn't go down that path. I'd have been in stitches.