Does this cover letter sound ok?

McKneff

littleminx wrote: »

Thanks Amanita,

Didn't notice that!

Don't use the word sincerely at all, it is a formal application so

If you are formally writing to the company your salutation is

Dear Sirs and ends with Yours faithfully

Only if you are writing to a particular person you say

Dear Miss/Mrs/Mr, then you say Yours sincerely = Go with the former.

littleminx_2

Thanks teajug, think i am doing ok with it so far.

Didn't know that McKneff, i have always put sincerely, will amend it before i email it.

:beer:

LadyMissA

littleminx wrote: »

Thanks teajug, think i am doing ok with it so far.

Didn't know that McKneff, i have always put sincerely, will amend it before i email it.

:beer:

I had an email last week from a big online travel company after finding my CV online and the HR manager out Cheers at the end! :beer:

littleminx_2

I had this too LadyMissA last year with a major worldwide TO, passed the interview, great pay and perks/bonuses, but decided it was not what i wanted to do any more. Been on my placement in school for a few months, working with 6/7 yr olds, and i really love it, truth be told wish i had done this years back instead of going into travel. There is an awful lot of competitiion out there at the mo and no one can compete with prices for holidays on the net.

x

PhoenixDF

Hi Littleminx,

I used to work as an employability coach so I've seen thousands of covering letter's on a daily basis. You come across as very positive and enthusiatic in your's, however the grammer and certain wording should be changed slighlty.

Although that is just my honest opinion, so I've taken the time like other forumites to write one for you which I hope is useful or at least provides some inspiration.

Dear [Name on Job Advert/Recruiter]/To whom it may concern,

I am writing to you in relation to the recent Sales Advisor position that was advertised online via the Job Centre Plus/Directgov website.

Having worked within the Industry for over 15 years within customer service and sales positions, I have the necessary experience, attributes and motivation to make a positive impact within your company.

Throughout my career, two of the UK's leading tour operators have employed me as a travel advisor where I've provided 1st line customer service and been entrusted to sell holidays, car hire purchases, insurance and travel money whilst using their in-house IT systems.

I've always been passionate about providing an excellent level of customer service as well as a determination to exceed the customer's expectations.

This, along with my experience, knowledge and transferable skills would make me a ideal candidate for the position of Sales Advisor at [enter company name/your company].

Please find my C.V. attached for your careful consideration and do not hesitate to contact me on the numbers provided should you wish to discuss anything further.

Kind Regards,



　
[Print Name Here & Signature Above]

Most of the feedback I had from companies were that they hated reading covering letters with 'Yours faithfully', Dear Sirs, as it made the letter either too masculine or similar to the ending of a love letter.

Other positive words you can use in the letter are things like; direct impact, invaluable, transferable skills/skillset, positive approach etc

Some may say its a little long winded so feel free to cut bits out, shorten it or not use it at all but I hope it helps you in some way (if their is any spelling mistakes, I apologise now as it 4:45am! )

heretolearn_2

Hi Op,

I like your original letter with a few of the amendments suggested by others (the sincerely bit etc). Not too long, not too short, enthusiastic about yourself and the role.

Phoenix - no offence but I think your letter is not as good, some of the phrases in there make me laugh every time I see them in an application, and it sounds too formulaic.

duchy

I agree about the formula phrasing.

One of the very large job sites has a standard cover letter that pops up to use or edit when you apply for vacancies that starts Dear Sir and ends Yours sincerely......annoys me every time I see it as a job site should know better (I think it's totaljobs -or it might be Reed)

I'm another ex-travel person and applied for a job back in the industry yesterday-to my amazement I got an offer of a phone interview within three hours. Interesting as my "tell us about you section" was actually verging on humerous as I'd used the example of delayed by a unseasonal snow storm in May and had to re-jig mid trip in August to avoid a hurricane personal experiences to illustrate I was well travelled and pro-active -so you never really know if the traditional approach or something more cotemporary will catch a company's eye.

littleminx_2

I would just like to say a big thank you to you all for taking the time to reply, really helpful comments and very much appreciated :beer:

I sent off my applications, but as yet i haven't had any response from either company , nevermind it's their loss lol.

But on a serious note i am beginning to feel useless and unemployable lately, not quite sure where i am going wrong, just wish someone would give me the chance to show that i am capeable of these positions and am very reliable, then i suppose they receive hundreds of applications who are just as competent.

Any how, once again many thanks to you all for your info and advice.

xx

LM

littleminx_2

Xena_007 wrote: »

After winning x factor I didn't think you would need to write cover letters n e more lol

I wish lol.

Didn't understand this at first, as i don't watch it.