sharing child benefit and Tc's after seperation

tentickles666

my husband and i are newly seperated, im just fully moved in to my new house. because the tax credits are in my name and im not currently working (though should have something within the month woohoo) the rate has increased.

The child benefit is also in my name. He says that as we are sharing the children 50/50 he should get half of the child benefit and tax credits. They are not fully shared 50/50 as 1 out of 7 days he picks them up for me from school and 2 out of 7 i do that for him, I also have them every single saturday as he works and ill have them all of the holidays unless he can book time off so over the year i guess its more like i have 3/4 he has 1/4

Also in the 7yrs of us having children he has never bought school shoes and only ever bought clothes for them if ive asked him to pick something up on his way home or when he went to london and picked up £25 acdc tshirts for each of them (you can imagine how much trouble he was in for that lol)

He earns over 30k a year, when i start work it will be for about 4hrs a day just mon - fri and tern time only so i can still get the kids from school. The extra money wont really make a lot of difference to him, but the £135 child benefit means an awful lot to me on a much lower income!

I think he thinks that its 'extra income' when its not its to spend on the children. Im within my right to keep all of it so long as it all is spent on the kids right? (i know this sounds pathetic but he has bossed me about financially for so long i dont know if im coming or going)

thanks in advance

RAS

Hi

This comes up regularly on here and you will find that most people have entrenched views, so you will be in the middle of a well worn battle ground.

legally

1. You are getting the CB
2. As a result you are getting CTC
3. You should be getting CSA?
4. He will be getting a reduction in his CSA contributions based on the number of nights the children sleep at his house.

That reduction is his allowance for his extra caring responsibilities.

kingfisherblue

RAS is correct. You may also want to ask yourself, as CB and CTC are for paying the costs of the children, who will buy their clothes and uniforms? Who will pay for school trips, workshops, etc? Who will pay for any clubs such as Brownies, Cubs, swimming lessons? Who will wash, dry and iron their clothes (thinking utilities costs here)?

I'm just guessing, but I would imagine that you will be shouldering most of these costs.....

karenx

Theres no way it can be shared in terms of who is paid. Its the PWC who gets these benefits and they can chose what they wish to do with it. He has no right to it being the NRP but you can give him a share if you wish. But seeing as you have the kids the majority of the time I dont think you should give him anything. Also check on the csa calculator how much maintenance he should be paying you

tentickles666

He says he doesnt need to pay any CSA because we are both taking care of them. I havnt got anyone involved such as csa or solicitors yet as id rather sort it ourselves, im a bit of a hippy i guess and i want to keep everything as civil as possible i do believe we can sort it all ourselves (im possibly being naieve too)

24skins

helenathena wrote: »

He says he doesnt need to pay any CSA because we are both taking care of them. I havnt got anyone involved such as csa or solicitors yet as id rather sort it ourselves, im a bit of a hippy i guess and i want to keep everything as civil as possible i do believe we can sort it all ourselves (im possibly being naieve too)

I understand your wish to keep it civil and out of the courts etc and that is the best solution where both parents are reasonable - but if your ex is trying to bully you into handing over cash then it's probably best to have someone official, or at least independent and neutral, involved.

clearingout

there is such a thing as collaborative law - google it for better explanations than I could give - which might work for you. Equally, just using a mediator may also help.

It is pretty common in the early stages of a relationship breakdown for one person to be way ahead of the other, to lie about having taken legal advice etc. etc. all to intimidate the other party into getting what they want. If he's currently earning and you're not, regardless of the shared care situation, you need to be receiving everything so that you can make ends meet. Later, if you're earning and when things have settled, you could give him the child benefit for one child with a view to neither of you claiming maintenance from the other and both being able to claim tax credits. For that to work, however, you need to be amicable and you need to be clear what your rights are.

There are plenty of solicitors who will do a free half hour. Worth making an appointment with one and taking a list of questions with you. Equally, if you are not working, you should get free legal advice from a solicitor who deals in 'legal aid' so that is something else to look into. Try https://www.wikivorce.com for good quality advice and support from people who have been there, done that.

Keep your wits about you. I took several months to seek legal advice as I thought I could handle my ex - I couldn't and by that point, things had become entrenched and it was very difficult to go back. If there is anything you are uncomfortable with, seek help now and prior to agreeing it with your husband as it is very easy to live to regret decisions made in distress and confusion.