My Debt-Free Journey - The Final Push

PollyOnAMission

Good stuff, let me know how you get on with EasyMoney!

GirlyGirl30

Quick update as I'm still stuck at work

EasyMoney is great, thanks Polly! Does it cost much to buy when the trial runs out? I couldn't find the paid version anywhere on the Android Market.

Have had a NSD today, but spent just under a tenner at the supermarket yesterday getting meat, milk and essentials. All updated in EasyMoney!

Made some cash selling some shoes on ebay which I'd never worn (oops). So that's going towards the NW credit card.

I keep daydreaming about my DFD and willing it to come closer, the damn credit cards are like a millstone around my neck!

Hope everyone's doing well today, and if nothing else - at least the sun's out where I am.... I can see it out of the office window!

PollyOnAMission

I think it was about a fiver, so not the cheapest app, but i've found it to be well worth it

GirlyGirl30

It is really good Polly, I seem to be getting on with it really well! Another NSD for me today, and a quiet night in of cleaning ahead of me... if I can get my bum off the sofa! Hope everyone's having a fun Friday night!

PollyOnAMission

Well done

fantastiyk

Hi Girlygirl,
I've just read your diary - that's fantastic!!!!!!!
You are doing brilliantly.
I hope you take time to stop and read back over your thread and see how far you've come. It's amazing :T Well done.

GirlyGirl30

Thanks for your support!

*** You are now cordially invited to attend GG's Pity Party, please RSVP ***

I've got to admit today I'm feeling pretty low. I'm really stressing about everything. My OH doesn't seem to understand why I don't want a joint account, and is insisting we put my name onto one of his accounts (he has a separate account which I think is just a basic account). He said they can do this in the bank with just some ID from me, but we both have to be there. Now he knows I have debts, but not the scale of the situation (I suspect that he thinks I have a couple of cards with a grand or so on - if only!), so if they were to start asking me questions about whether I have a credit card, or how much I owe/pay out each month I don't know what I would do! I said I would prefer to have a basic account, and he said that it would be better to have an overdraft 'just in case', so I don't even know if he's going to try and process an application for an overdraft at the same time. I don't know what to say to him, I don't know how to broach the subject and I'm scared I know what everyone will say, 'just sit him down and tell him' but it's really not that easy for me. I already feel like a massive failure for letting things get so bad and not doing anything about it when I could have more easily, and I don't want to spoil things when they're so great between us. I could slap myself for potentially ruining everything - I'm so upset

AND I check my credit report through Experian every now and again, and I'm sick of Barclaycard and other lenders not updating my balances until two months after I've paid. They're quick enough to update when I owe money! I've paid off my remaining Barclaycard, I transferred 2k to a 0% card at the end of May and paid off the remainder with my savings and yet it's still showing as 2800 on my credit report (updated 01/07), but the card I transferred the balance to has also updated, so that 2000 is showing twice! I also paid off my Nationwide card in May, but it's still showing as though I owe 1200. Meaning if I look at Experian, then I owe 19k I know I don't actually owe that much, but the bank isn't going to know that when they credit search me. Stupid credit cards!! Why did I ever apply for one?! Arrrrgggghhhhh!!!

*** Pity Party Over ***

mrsb83_2

That's a tough one. Just be clear that you don't want another credit facility. If he knows you have some debt, say "I don't want/need additional credit. It'll be better for us to budget properly so that there's no risk of the account going overdrawn than to have an overdraft 'just in case'".

I don't know what else you can say other "no thanks". I do think you should consider telling him that you have debt. It would make life easier, and it's not shameful to be working your way out of it. But I'm sure it would be very difficult, but maybe just ease into it. Don't tell him a figure, just say something like "I have enough credit - I don't want any more" and see where that takes you.

Good luck!

GirlyGirl30

Thanks so much MrsB! I feel a bit better today anyway, I think I was just having a bad day and was feeling rather sorry for myself. No reason for it really - and it helps to vent on here!

I'm delaying it at the moment, but I don't know how much longer I can put it off for. I have already mentioned to him that I never want to use credit again, but perhaps I can give him a little nudge again and see whether he challenges me on it. I really feel like I should open up to him but at the same time I worry I've left it too long to expect him to just accept it, he'll surely wonder why I never mentioned it before and might even think I've deliberately kept him in the dark for some reason other than my stupid pride.

Anyway, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, there are people much worse off than I am and in much more desperate positions. I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but then there's no-one else I can beat up for being an idiot! Haha!

fantastiyk

Hi Girlygirl,
I dropped in to say a few things, its only advice and don't feel you have to agree or take anything on board.

If things seem to be moving very fast for you. Its ok to stand back and say you want to slow them down.

You also seem to be very hard on yourself and expect that he will be too. It's like its already a done deal for you. If it was a friend you would see that being hard on him/her wouldn't actually solve anything.

I'm a bit concerned that after you say no to wanting joint accounts that he keeps pushing for it. I'd ask myself why if that was going on for me. Is he as debt free as you think? Has he plans to use this overdraft he mentions? What does he intend to use it for? If he doesn't have plans for it why does he want one? An overdraft can be arranged in less than an hour, should you need one. So why would you arrange to have one you don't need?
-My bank charged me £25 for an overdraft I hadn't requested once, it just appeared on my statement. I rung up and queried it and said if I wanted one I'd contact them, apparently I can get it arranged over the phone in a few minutes.

You are moving in together, and things work better if taken one step at a time. If it were me I wouldn't be getting a joint bank account until we were living together a while, it would be another step in the journey for me. That's whether I had debt, no debt or loads in savings.

However I feel if I was moving in with someone I would prefer to know beforehand if there were reasons they may not be able to contribute to bills, holidays, the lifestyle we were planning etc. If you want to spend your life with him, it would better to let him see who he is spending his life with, and if he doesn't like it, which is what I think you're worrying about, then you need to see that now too, before things get deeper.

GG whatever you do is up to you. I just wonder if you will be happy in this relationship if you feel you have to hide everything you owe to keep the relationship intact. There is nothing wrong with being in debt. Sure, many of us could have made different choices and had less, more or no debt - but its not a crime, its a situation. And one that you are working on, much like someone else might work on their fitness levels. In fact through this you have become very good at managing money and managing on next to no money so you have a lot more experience at managing money than most people.

I also understand that to him a shared bank account could mean commitment, but we don't need anything other than being committed to a relationship with someone to be committed, not rings, weddings, gifts or bank accounts.

Also if you are going to talk to him about it, it may be advisable not to wait until you're at a bank agreeing to open an account.

You have already taken your biggest steps in clearing your debt and you are committed to that - stay true to you and if he is the one for you it will all work out.

Good luck with it all, whatever you decide.