Divorce, The Marital Home and Reposession

Padstow

Is your ex wife legally represented? You make no mention of it. Why as a single man did you buy a 5 bed home? Is the building insured? Could she retrain to keep herself in a few years time? How could you raise a minimum of £106,000 in addition to paying the mortgage and possibly paying her SM?

If she has a sol, I can't see you moving back in. You wouldn't get away with you and your wife living with her. Even though you're on the mortgage, there is such a thing as "right to privacy." Believe it's article 8 HRA. Besides, you are intentionally giving up your rented home, bit daft until you know the outcome.
You certainly can't turf her out into rented when there is 200k equity to be divided, your child at least needs stability.

Can the house be fixed via insurance? If so do it and put the house on the market. Viewings accompanied by EA only. You both need a home for the child to visit, the 5 bed is too large for either of you and she needs more equity to buy outright as you have the earning power.

In exchange for you being so reasonable, she needs to retrain in order to pay her bills, you could pay SM for say four years until she's back on her feet.

If she got say 64% £128,000 that would leave you with £72,000 both figures minus costs of course, but a healthy deposit for you none the less.

If by some means you did occupy the FMH again, you say you would rent out 3 rooms. What sort of a life would you and your wife and daughter have with three strangers living there. It would be horrendous.

Mediation broke down, so when is the court date?

makeitfolky

Hello Padstow,

To answer your questions: yes she is legally represented. She has been receiving legal aid. I have been paying for my legal representation myself. I have spent my entire savings on this case and have now moved to trying to represent myself. I bought a 5 bedroom house as a single man because a) I could afford it b) it was run down and I wanted to do it up, which I did c) I have an older son from a previous relationship who needed a room, d) at the time I ran a business from home and required the space.

The bottom line is she has made NO effort to get work. She claims she is ill but the doctor has refused to sign her off. I earn just enough money now to keep myself and support my daughter. My wife also works and I could not live in my respectable but small bungalow without her financial support.

All your points sound reasonable, but she has made it very very clear she has no intention of leaving the house Full. Stop. She does not want to retrain. She does not want to work. She does not want to be reasonable. There is no new court data as I cannot afford it. An unreasonable ex can eat up even low five figure savings very quickly in court fees.

I think it's all a moot point now. I am going to let it go to repossession. I do not believe the payment plan - made with the mortgage company yesterday without my prior knowledge or acquiescence - that her boyfriend pays the mortgage - is realistic or sustainable, particularly as he is now behaving in an intimidating and aggressive manner.

My daughter has a very nice home and life here if my ex cannot step up to the plate.

House be damned and be repossessed. I no longer care.

suburbanwifey

Its women like this that give women a bad name. I feel for you makeitfolky, not sure what on earth you can do, but hope some wise soul on here has the answer because for sure, you need to get her, him and co out of that house or it will drag you all under, both families. Awful. She's not very nice is she and her BF sounds a real prize. You're well shut and I'm a woman saying that. I'm all for women getting treated fairly, the first to shout out about that but this lady, well, she's a different kettle of fish. After only 6 years of marriage she should have been thankful to be offered 70% of the equity. Foolish woman.

suburbanwifey

makeitfolky wrote: »

Hello Padstow,

To answer your questions: yes she is legally represented. She has been receiving legal aid. I have been paying for my legal representation myself. I have spent my entire savings on this case and have now moved to trying to represent myself. I bought a 5 bedroom house as a single man because a) I could afford it b) it was run down and I wanted to do it up, which I did c) I have an older son from a previous relationship who needed a room, d) at the time I ran a business from home and required the space.

The bottom line is she has made NO effort to get work. She claims she is ill but the doctor has refused to sign her off. I earn just enough money now to keep myself and support my daughter. My wife also works and I could not live in my respectable but small bungalow without her financial support.

All your points sound reasonable, but she has made it very very clear she has no intention of leaving the house Full. Stop. She does not want to retrain. She does not want to work. She does not want to be reasonable. There is no new court data as I cannot afford it. An unreasonable ex can eat up even low five figure savings very quickly in court fees.

I think it's all a moot point now. I am going to let it go to repossession. I do not believe the payment plan - made with the mortgage company yesterday without my prior knowledge or acquiescence - that her boyfriend pays the mortgage - is realistic or sustainable, particularly as he is now behaving in an intimidating and aggressive manner.

My daughter has a very nice home and life here if my ex cannot step up to the plate.

House be damned and be repossessed. I no longer care.

I agree, best advice I have read and it came from you. I think that is what I would do on reflection. Fine, your credit rating will suffer but so will hers. She'll be evicted, and so she deserves it. Tough but fair in these circumstances. Shame she wouldn't sell so you could both have walked away with some money from it and a clean credit history. Repossession follows you for many, many years. Stupid woman! I say again, you are well shut of her. I hope the future is brighter for you and your new family x

Padstow

Why then not LiP to force a sale. Have you been on wikivorce? Many there have done so.
Also better makeitfolky to sell at auction than let BS do so, at least you set the reserve.

ETA. It's ironic that you have the child arrangements sorted so well, that seems to be the sticking point for most.

daska

What does your solicitor advise?