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Iphone4,iCloud,AOL....argggg problems

I have an iphone4 and downloaded iCloud last year and it says that the server cannot relay mail and it has been placed in my outbox. I cannot send email from my iPhone but can receive.
For Christmas I received an ipad2 and exactly the same. I have an AOL mail account.

It does seem that there have been lots of issues with this and the apple shop looked puzzled too.
Has this happened to anyone else and have you resolved it.

Many thanks ....urggggg
Emma
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