C Maintenance assessment

Lady_S

But its not just the financial cost you have to consider, its the emotional cost aswell. If you have already been through so much and its taken it all out of you sometimes if you don't have the support around you its impossible to make the simple move of going to court. You are already emotionally beaten.

MJMum

thesaint, I agree with your sentiment - just thought that this poster should go in with his eyes open.

rare_stuff

You are complicating things by bringing in the C.S.A into it.

True, but ......... Oh Sod it!
This was a thread about CSA and I seem to have taken it completely off topic by talking about contact.

If the child finds out at age 16 that it did indeed cost £30 to file the papers, what would that child think? "My dad gave up because he wouldn't spend £30 to see me".

you're right in regard to wanting to be able to do everything I can here and tobe able to prove it. I already have boxed up all the legal papers and communications, along with copies of birthday/xmas cards sent. I will look into how much self-filing would cost and explore that option..

Sorry to sound so negative, but I wish someone had pointed this out to my husband before we wasted two years and many thousands of pounds on legal fees

Thanks for that, I'm very aware of this having attempted the mediation route after she had agreed to it in court but then made really feeble excuses for not making herself available for either of the mediation councillors arranged by my solicitor.

At the moment my hands are full looking after my partner and trying to juggle earning a living with being available for 24hour care and support. So have temporarily put a hold on further action due to finance constraints and emotional ones. Though am hoping to be able to pursue this in the near future.

Unfortunately, the CSA cannot take any consideration of the past in order to determine maintenance levels, nor can it take these factors into account when deciding whether to enforce payments. If the matters were legally linked, then there would be a case for it; there is no link. The CSA is for maintenance and the Courts are for contact matters.

I think this was the point of the rant I had, morally there should be a link between the two. And am hoping, perhaps foolishly, that when the CSA is reformed/replaced that this is one area that should be addressed. Far too many fathers are prevented from having legitimate contact for no good reason and not making a link between the 2 is quite immoral. There are lots of punishments lined up for the absent father, but none for the vindictive mother who are depriving there children from contact with their father.

What is your ex's problem that she doesn't want you to have a relationship with your child?

I honestly wish I knew! I can only make guesses that her domineering mother who is financially reliant on my childs mother managed to threaten her enough to persuade her to lie. She did once leave home briefly with my help but returned within 48hours as she 'missed her mum'!! My only other theory is that she is actually as evil an twisted as her mother. It is also possible that both are true as I did give her plenty of options to leave her mother, who had regularly cleaned out her bank account and had conned her for the preceeding 3 years by telling her that she was paying for a mortgage on the council property they lived in. This was discovered when the council started taking action due to unpaid rent.


I should check back here more often then I wouldn't have to write such long and complicated replies!! But a sincere thanks to all for the advice and info, also thank you for letting me rant and take this thread of topic!

R.

thesaint

I think this was the point of the rant I had, morally there should be a link between the two. And am hoping, perhaps foolishly, that when the CSA is reformed/replaced that this is one area that should be addressed. Far too many fathers are prevented from having legitimate contact for no good reason and not making a link between the 2 is quite immoral. There are lots of punishments lined up for the absent father, but none for the vindictive mother who are depriving there children from contact with their father.

This would be a God-send for parents that did not want to pay for their children. Think, I could father as many children I want without fear of the worry of the financial cost, sometimes at the expense of other tax payers.
As long as I refused to see the kids I fathered all over the place, I would be within my rights. The best start for those children?

There are just as many punishments for a parent whom refuses contact under a court order as there are for a parent whom refuses to pay maintenance under the C.S.A.
A parent whom refuses to follow a contact order can be sent to prison!

In reality the harshest penalties are rarely/never carried through. The delinquent parents know this, so will carry on regardless.

It is all very stressful, I spent just over a year of my life going to see solicitors and the family court, I know others who have been going for years, but it's the only system in place.

With regards to contact orders, the courts would soon do something if parents would go to court each time they were messed around with regards to contact, but too many parents don't bother. My contact order has worked really well, but if it didn't, I would be at court at the soonest available date, I would keep going to court until either the courts enforced the order or my child turned 16, he is my 1st priority.

I do hope you get what you need, but it sounds like you are going to have to fight for it.

Good luck.