SOA advice please

DVardysShadow

tinamic wrote: »

... I'd appreciate your views on my present circumstances.

As AAT, I would say that you really know for yourself what this means.

You are well and truly into a financial black hole. You are not level pegging, you are getting deeper in by £700/month. Unless you can find anther £700/month by living more cheaply, raising your income and taking money from your sons, you can only sink in more deeply.

I have no idea whether you could go bankrupt, square everything up and become re accredited. But if you continue much beyond this point, I would say you are likely to lose even that chance, because continuing with what you know is probably reckless.

I would say give yourself a few weeks to look at what else you could do as a job, to look at bridging that £700 gap and if you can't bridge the gap, you need to collect your bankruptcy fee, contact your AAT regulator, seek advice and then contact your employer.

I am sorry for the bleak assessment - I'm hoping that you can find a way to bridge the gap. But the way things are, if you can't bridge it, I think it is better to face it sooner rather than later.

katsu

Tina,

Can he wash cars? Walk dogs? Get him a freecycle bike and a bag with a change of clothes in for school, or just some good waterproofs.

Perhaps a credit union would lend you money to clear the PDLs?

The G&E costs are horrendous - try and turn off as much as you can.

Tell the elder sons that the rent goes up starting immediately, they can't live anywhere for £10 a week - they can't even get fed for that money! That would help a bit.

Cancel virgin TV package and drop phone down to minimum.

Sign up to NHS stop smoking services or get some kind of e-cigarette thing to save the £120.

Try and find a free way to make friends to replace Zumba - book group in the local library? Some kind of volunteering? Church/other religious institution?

How long do you have to go on the C Tax arrears? Have you checked there are no other benefits you can get?

Good luck.

tinamic

Hi
DivardysShadow,Thanks for your comments, I have already begun to face the inevitable, I posted my original SOA for advice on what would or would not pass as acceptable living expenses. I am self employed at the moment but have applied for other employment in a different field but am debating whether I can continue without my AAT status with the help of an associate.
It's been an impossible task to try cover what basically needs the two incomes we had before my partner and I split up.

Katsu, if things hadn't reached this extent then maybe your suggestions would have made enough difference, but no credit union loan could get me out of this mess.
I can stop going to zumba but don't have much spare time to volunteer and am not religeous.I can reduce the phone/bb package,the tv is free at the moment anyway.I can cut down the smoking but don't feel that I can give up yet.As I've said my older lads are paying off their own debts from periods of unemployment,one having only just got back into work, when they're straight they can pay a bit more.
I do find the G&E very high, they are card meters and the electric is still taking back some towards arrears but the gas arrears are paid off and it is still extremely high.
When I'm working at home I do get cold when the heating is off, I suppose I should turn the radiators off in the other rooms or get hold of an electric heater, it seems to use up £5 in no time at the moment.The council tax arrears will be finished at the end of the financial year, unless I have to forgoe their payment for other debts or even towards the bankruptcy fees.
I will ask my youngest about riding to school but will not insist on this if he doesn't want to. Apart from my feeling he shouldn't suffer for my mistakes I also wouldn't want to distrupt him during this vital last few months of Year 11.
I think I've looked into all the benefits available, thanks for all your suggestions.
Tina

[Deleted User]

I know that the Zumba will save you some money, having said that I do feel for you, nobody wants to be left with no friends and this could cause you further problems, if you are depressed as you said you were before, maybe it's worth keeping it and looking at how to save on something else?

Maybe you could ask for someone to buy a few months for your Birthday or likewise??

AlyBaly

I have read your thread and firstly let me say well done on realising how bad things are , that is a great 1st step. Some really good advice here so not much to add except, I feel you are perhaps pandering to your sons, I only say this because when we ended up in a total financial mess we did the same with our children. They need to truly understand how bad things are and explain you need their help, you will be surprised at how supportive they will be.
It is not easy but they are adults and need to start taking some responsibility from you at least while they are living with you, you cannot afford to only take£10 a week from them an keep supporting them.

Sorry if this seems a bit harsh, I don't mean to be and wish you all the best

Wannabefree1

AlyBaly wrote: »

I have read your thread and firstly let me say well done on realising how bad things are , that is a great 1st step. Some really good advice here so not much to add except, I feel you are perhaps pandering to your sons, I only say this because when we ended up in a total financial mess we did the same with our children. They need to truly understand how bad things are and explain you need their help, you will be surprised at how supportive they will be.
It is not easy but they are adults and need to start taking some responsibility from you at least while they are living with you, you cannot afford to only take£10 a week from them an keep supporting them.

Sorry if this seems a bit harsh, I don't mean to be and wish you all the best

Got to say I totally agree. Years ago ; when I was 21. I moved back in with my mum to help her due to her being unable to make ends meet following loosing her job. I had a low wage, outgoings of my own but still worked out what out of her bills I could take on for her to support her.

I didn't think twice about it - it needed to be done and after supporting me all my life it was time to give a little back.

I'm sure if you talk to them they' want to help. Maybe they an sit down an genuinely see what they can afford considering their own difficult circumstances. It may not be a lot - but every little helps. Even back in the day when I was 18 and had a few hours at a shop I was still paying 30 a week.

borkid

Hi
Re making friends, have you thought about making friends on the internet then meeting up with local ones? My daughter is limited healthwise and has made many friends through her interest in knitting and spinning. Some live locally so she meets up with them to knit and natter sometimes. Another way to meet people is via the WI but this will depend on the local group if there is one, some tend to have rather elderly members.

Re your youngest cycling one school I worked at about 15 years ago had a student (mid teens) with housing/ family problems and they let him come to school early and use the showers in the PE block to get ready for school. Maybe they might let your son do a similar thing if wet. They should after all be encouraging youngsters to take more exercise.

One thing I've just started doing is online surveys, might help out a little for you even if just cutting down presents bill or give you a guilt free treat now and again.

LoulaBelle

Do you have a spare room your could rent out or are they all full and if so do you have a spare dining room that one of the boys could move into to free up another room upstairs as a bedroom?

DVardysShadow

LoulaBelle wrote: »

Do you have a spare room your could rent out or are they all full and if so do you have a spare dining room that one of the boys could move into to free up another room upstairs as a bedroom?

OP is already in rented, so taking a lodger could complicate things.

barbarawright

i understand that elder sons have debt but it stills seems ridiculous that they are costing you money when your youngest son can't even afford a bus pass. £150 a month is the absolute minumum the older ones should be paying (and I bet that only just covers the extra expense of having them there). £40 a month is less than I paid in 1982 when I was earning £3000 a year