Advice wanted - partner 'trapped' in a mortgage she doesn't want

brummie_boy

We don't know how much she knows, but she is aware that the house is part owned by my partner! However she has already registered at the property, which may make a forced sale potentially harder - hence the idea (albeit an awful step to have to take!) of my partner moving back in and forcing the issue.

We have written a letter outlining the position, and giving him clear timescales to act. My other half is delivering it to him tonight (unfortunately, alone - as me being there may only inflame the situation), so we will see!

We have a couple of 'trump' cards - one, his CSA payments (or lack of them), and second, her renting out of her home - I highly doubt that her mortgage provider is aware. We really don't want to use these, as once we do - there would be no chance of an amicable resolution; and the CSA issue may make it even less likely he can obtain a mortgage!

TBH, the forced sale is probably our best hope

chloo

good luck brummie boy

your partners ex husbands new bit sounds like a bit of a nightmare. what a skank moving into someone elses home and hoping to make a bit of dosh at the same time. they have obviously spoken about it and so the new bit must know that this cant happen forever.

if i were you maybe give the tax office a secret phone call and tell them about this new bits tax evasion that will be worse than the mortage company.

princeofpounds

As stated, she could point out to the ex that as things stand, she has every right to re-enter the house at any point, live there, even chuck out his new partner and her kids (at least until the ex lets them back in again).

It doesn't need to be a threat, just an illustration of how unsatisfactory the situation is. Even better, if the new partner understands this she is not likely to be happy and will push the ex.

You can't just shift the mortgage and title without co-operation from the lender and the ex unfortunately.

If explaining such things doesn't help, then her next best bet is probably to force a sale by applying to a court for an order for sale. This isn't normally too tricky unless the house is in negative equity, in which case the lender might try to block it. Even a letter explaining you are seeking an order should be enough to get a reaction because he will realise he will get turfed out.

The CSA is a valid card to use, because it is a real obligation to support children and frankly I'd do it anyway at some point if the difference is material. Threatening to grass up the new partner for letting out her house is involving a third party that is not really anything to do with the situation, and even worse could be misinterpreted as a relationship-based problem rather than one of practical finances.

Edit: If she is not paying tax then you could grass her up for that as it's a moral offence in its own right, but I'd wait a bit.

GDB2222

brummie_boy wrote: »

Unfortunately, the divorce has been carried out without a solicitor (an attempt to keep things amicable and simple). My partner has paid for the whole process, to add insult to injury. With hindsight, this has probably been a mistake. However, just need to move things forward now.

you may need a solicitor in order to move things along in a sensible direction. It seems fairly clear that your partner needs to get off the mortgage. The only way that can be achieved may be if the house is sold. If her ex has moved his new family in, he is going to move heaven and earth to remain there, isn't he? So, this may cease to be an amicable divorce, after all, I'm afraid.

jayss

I think your partner is being taken for a ride and really should get a free half hour with a solicitor.
He keeps the family home, whilst she has to rent, and he's not paying for the kids.

RAS

brummie_boy wrote: »

Unfortunately, the divorce has been carried out without a solicitor (an attempt to keep things amicable and simple). My partner has paid for the whole process, to add insult to injury. With hindsight, this has probably been a mistake. However, just need to move things forward now.

I have lost count of the number of people on these forums who divorce without tying up the finances properly and then report chaos, distress and poverty as a result.

You can DIY a divorce but do not DIY a financial settlement without proper legal support because it is not simple.

He could stop paying the mortgage, wreck her credit rating, refuse to sell the house and and.... because she wanted to keep it amicable.

And in order to correct that she has to appear like a cow going back on her word, so things will get nasty.

pinkshoes

Personally I'd just pretend to move back in. Don't even give him notice, just walk in and ask which rooms she'll be getting, and suggest drawing up a rota for kitchen use, and how much to charge overnight guests.

Say that the only alternative is to sell.

I'd say it's very likely he can't get a mortgage on his own.

brummie_boy

RAS wrote: »

I have lost count of the number of people on these forums who divorce without tying up the finances properly and then report chaos, distress and poverty as a result.

You can DIY a divorce but do not DIY a financial settlement without proper legal support because it is not simple.

He could stop paying the mortgage, wreck her credit rating, refuse to sell the house and and.... because she wanted to keep it amicable.

And in order to correct that she has to appear like a cow going back on her word, so things will get nasty.

Hence the 'it was most probably a mistake' comment. Unfortunately the 'I told you so' line (which I could very easily give her) will not deliver a solution to the problem.

I think we fully understand the scenario and the risks. Sounds like a 30min session of free legal advice would be ideal, unless the 'warning shot' letter delivers a response.

Fortunately, she has never promised him anything in this process - not access long-term to the house, not an ability to leave his children unfunded. Quite the opposite.