Am I a dad worrying to much???

Alan_M_2

The life cycle runs it's course and what will eventually happen is your parents start asking you for advice, then you start supporting your parents and everything they did for you when you were their dependant you get the opportunity to repay.

BTman

southernscouser wrote:

Is everyone on this board as rude as some of the posters on this thread?

I'm glad I'm in debt now so I don't have these people posting on my mortgage advice threads! :rolleyes:

YAWN..... same old, same old...

Catmeister

First, well done to archaic for not being afraid to voice his concerns with your daughter and soon to be son-in-law in an open discussion. It is always a father's right to interfer - that's what parents are for!

I understand your points about liability, and I agree that if they were to divorce there shouldn't be a problem, unless your stbsil claimed in court that the reason your daughter didn't go on the title deeds was because she didn't want to accept liability etc. He could even blame this for the break up, saying that from the outset your daughter didn't have faith in him etc. I'm sure this sounds far from the stbsil you know, but as you're preparing for the worst... Also, as the stbsil is presumably laying down a deposit from his current house, this is a pre-marital asset, and if the house isn't in both of their names, may provoke further complications.

The thing is, marriage is all about union. By putting your daughter on the mortgage, her soon to be husband is putting his marriage vows in practice. He is demonstrating that everything he owns is hers, and that no matter who physically pays for what, everything is shared. Whilst I appreciate your need as a father to see past the emotion and through to the economy, I'm definitely of the camp that love is what it's all about! Scooby-Man is right - years down the line it will really impact on their marriage - don't underestimate the damage of this. It's also not great to start the marriage with a show of no confidence - there may be an advantage if your stbsil was to go bankrupt, but what does this suggestion imply to the stbsil? I'm sure he too understands you're just concerned for your daughter, but again, in years to come this may rankle.

Finally, hoyin get life insurance! You can get it on a sliding scale to the value of your house, valid for the length of the mortgage. That way if either you or the gf/wife dies, neither of you has the added stress of meeting the bills you previously both paid for. My H and I could both maintain our present house if the other were to die, but as he points out, the least we can do by being so rude as to pop off early is to at least let the other grieve without constant calls from the bank!

I was under the impression that if you were married, even if the spouse wasn't on the mortgage the other had to obtain life insurance - certainly I know others who have only been given a mortgage on this basis...