Accused of benefit fraud!!

onetomany

FBaby wrote: »

Is he planning on spending all his waking hours with you? If not, then I don't think you have anything to worry about! The key business is only one small element amongst others. It is the accumulation of facts that will make more likely that he is considered as sharing the household.

no i only see him now every other week as he works shifts and i work but on the week hes on earlys he probley will spend time here to spend time with our son but he will be going home each night

mich2201

FOX_HOUND wrote: »

First of all I'd want to know what troublemaking snitch has been at work.

QUOTE]
I know exactly who it is. My ex partner and I are involved in a family court case involving my youngest daughter (he took me to court for visitation rights though he has not seen her for the last 4 years) long story, . Anyway, I think he is trying to get me to lose my legal aid so that I cannot fight him. He has threatened this before. What decent father jepordises the roof over his childs head??

clearingout

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

But surely the whole point is when you are supported as a single parent you should expect to have some restrictions when it comes to a relationship?

The OP and her OH have been together for 18 months. I seriously doubt in that entire time she hasn't made some sort of financial gain whether it's him buying the shopping one week therefore saving her a few quid or him giving her some money for a phone bill.

so a lone parent on benefits/claiming tax credit, isn't allowed to define the parameters of their relationships?

I am a lone parent. I work for a living but on a very low wage at the moment, and likely an average wage for the rest of my life (in training at the moment). I am educated to Masters level. I made some poor choices career wise whilst married - choices which are only really 'poor' as a result of the marriage breakdown - and am doing my best to rectify that now but at 41, am never going to earn as much, or get as far as I might have done if I'd entered my profession at 21. But I'll do OK, I'm sure - what I'm saying is I'm not complaining, I'm just making the point that I'm not a 21 year old with 3 children by 3 fathers, never married, left school at 16 with no qualifications and an expectation that the world owes me a living....

Because I am now left with the sole care of 3 young children, all born to the same father within marriage (who, whilst we're at it, refuses to financially support his children and as a result of his self employment, is able to get away with it), and am going to be reliant on tax credits to top my household up to what the Government says is reasonable standard of living (that's another debate!), you think that a bureaucrat with a clipboard gets a say in whether or not a person I have been in a relationship with, and who stays over at my home every now and again, who goes on outings with myself and my children or who accompanies me round Sainsbury's once in a blue moon, is my live-in 'forever partner' rather than someone I am just having fun with? are you serious?

Cherry_Bomb

clearingout wrote: »

so a lone parent on benefits/claiming tax credit, isn't allowed to define the parameters of their relationships?

I am a lone parent. I work for a living but on a very low wage at the moment, and likely an average wage for the rest of my life (in training at the moment). I am educated to Masters level. I made some poor choices career wise whilst married - choices which are only really 'poor' as a result of the marriage breakdown - and am doing my best to rectify that now but at 41, am never going to earn as much, or get as far as I might have done if I'd entered my profession at 21. But I'll do OK, I'm sure - what I'm saying is I'm not complaining, I'm just making the point that I'm not a 21 year old with 3 children by 3 fathers, never married, left school at 16 with no qualifications and an expectation that the world owes me a living....

Because I am now left with the sole care of 3 young children, all born to the same father within marriage (who, whilst we're at it, refuses to financially support his children and as a result of his self employment, is able to get away with it), and am going to be reliant on tax credits to top my household up to what the Government says is reasonable standard of living (that's another debate!), you think that a bureaucrat with a clipboard gets a say in whether or not a person I have been in a relationship with, and who stays over at my home every now and again, who goes on outings with myself and my children or who accompanies me round Sainsbury's once in a blue moon, is my live-in 'forever partner' rather than someone I am just having fun with? are you serious?

Of course it should be up to the individuals to define their own relationship. But the fact is when you're claiming benefits as a single parent and are subsequently investigated, the choice is taken away from you and made by a bureaucrat with a clipboard

Like it or not it's a fact.

FBaby

clearingout wrote: »

I don't know what would be an 'acceptable' length of time to 'get to know' a person before declaring 'commitment'. We are all individuals with individual need, expectation, resources etc. I was pretty sure I'd marry my ex husband within a few weeks of knowing him - and look how that turned out?! We waited a decent amount of time, got to know each other as well as we could have, I think. I don't think that because I'm now a lone parent reliant on tax credits to get by, I should be forced to think in weeks/months/ years...in a new relationship. Isn't it still my right to think in terms of what is right for myself and my children? Or do I have to live a life below whatever official poverty line tax credits top me up to to be 'allowed' a new relationship?

Of course this is absolutely right and I don't think anyone would argue with this. The problem is: how does the DWP gets reasurance that this is why a couple are choosing to live separately because of wanting to be sure about their commitment rather than a couple pretending this is the reason when they are only living separately because they are better off financially?

The reality is that it is often once benefits are lost (because children are getting older) that the couple suddenly decide it is the right time to move in together which leave you to doubt everyone's good intentions. It is exactly what my ex and his partner did. they were 'together' for 4 years, him paying only very minimal lodging fee just to be able to justify he wasn't living with his girlfriend who was claiming everything she could as a single mum (even though her kids were only with her half of the time but she claimed CB and asked for no maintenance from the dad as a deal). This went on for a few years, but amazingly, it is when he lost his job and therefore they could claim benefits together that they decided to move in together.... it is people like them -and the many others- who make people suspicious (of course my ex would never admit to the above, said exactly what is being said here, that he wanted to be sure before moving in with her and her kids...)

mich2201

Just wanted to say thanks for some of the advice ive been given since yesterday. Some of it tremendously helpful, some of it not so much! But hey, everyones entitled to their opinion.

Uganda, many thanks and I will personal message you when I get my decision letter.

seven-day-weekend

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

Of course it should be up to the individuals to define their own relationship. But the fact is when you're claiming benefits as a single parent and are subsequently investigated, the choice is taken away from you and made by a bureaucrat with a clipboard

Like it or not it's a fact.

And actually, if you are claiming Benefits BECAUSE you are a single parent, then uit is only right that this staus should be checked every so oftern.

clearingout

Cherry_Bomb wrote: »

Of course it should be up to the individuals to define their own relationship. But the fact is when you're claiming benefits as a single parent and are subsequently investigated, the choice is taken away from you and made by a bureaucrat with a clipboard

Like it or not it's a fact.

I don't sign up to the state interfering in my relationships as a single parent who claims tax credits or any other benefit, no. Nor do I believe that being a lone parent on benefits or tax credits takes away the free choice that I have in relationships. I sign up as an adult who is capable of managing her own affairs and her own family. I expect to be treated the same as a couple - that I can declare my income and it be assumed I am declaring correctly, that it be assumed I am single when I say I am. Should my name be pulled out of the hat for 'investigation', either because someone has decided they don't like me, doesn't understand my family situation or because I lost the 'lottery' of random investigation, I will of course be happy to answer questions on my situation. Being a lone parent on benefits or being reliant on tax credit, however, does not give the state the right to intervene in my relationships, or tell me what is best for my family any more than it does a couple claiming benefit or tax credit.

I agree, a few spoil it for the majority which is why so many people are such cynics when it comes to the 'single mum' and benefits. Doesn't stop me being fed up with being tarred and feathered with the negative 'single mum' brush and wanting to shout about it!

Dognobs

mich2201 wrote: »

I know exactly who it is. My ex partner and I are involved in a family court case involving my youngest daughter (he took me to court for visitation rights though he has not seen her for the last 4 years) long story, . Anyway, I think he is trying to get me to lose my legal aid so that I cannot fight him. He has threatened this before. What decent father jepordises the roof over his childs head??

Probley a dad who wants to see his kids?

uganda

Mara69 wrote: »

It HAS stopped. The OP said this in her opening post. They have ceased her claim.

So? I wasn't saying otherwise. Try not to trip me up on semantics and concentrate on trying to help the OP, ok?