A NY New Me, But...

dogstarheaven

:T Finally made it in the NY with changes to my Old Life. Left partner of 6yrs on the Eve, gave up smoking on the 2nd day and took up yoga again.. Feeling so much better now...

sort of...

reconnected with old flame-type of friend and is causing me some anguish already. needing to remind myself 'must stop getting too involved too quickly' at times when we're go out drinking and things go awry for us.

and reconnected with other old friends whom i've neglected in the yrs away from them due to my locked-in relationship with Ex.

altho' the relat. with the ex was more in the good than the bad, i felt i was settling for 'Second Best' and i didn't want this to continue for the rest of our lives toget. there were a lot of issues that got in the way of my happiness. i stopped socialising as soon as we got toget. lost a lot of my independence as i became more reliant on the ex to do all the gadgetry/DIY jobs 'round the house/garden, sexually i found him not attractive, and our cultures and upbringing/class clashed, and also intellectually, we didn't have much to talk about as his view of the world/society was limiting.

it's been just over a week and am enjoying the space i have in my own home. each night when i come back from work, it's empty but at least it looks the same as i had left it earlier in the day - NO MESS. to me that was one of the main issues that i had on a regular basis with him. I love fact that being single means you're only responsible for yourself and no-one else's. ok, i have my only surviving cat (lost my first one over a yr ago - v sad still :(:(:() but at least that's only a little responsibility in return for the amount of need that the cat has for me. always sleeping next to me and wants me to stroke on a v. regular basis!

had some shocking news by phone yest. and it made me wanna have a drink or a ciggie. rationalised myself why i couldn't and moved on. it was a lil' hard, but i did it.

bit upset tho' that aforementioned old flame/friend wasn't up for talking last night when i told him, but i did disturb his sleep (norty me!)

well, that's my new start.. am sort of making progress. it's not a v good to hook-up with old flame, but hey, we only live once and all that. i'm trying not too get too involved (set my agenda with him about this. no committment. but we're there for each other sorta thing).

have any of you finished with an ex over the hols and is finding a bit 'strange' to go it alone again? would be lovely/interesting to know if any of you has any to add to my 'story'.:p

ps. i have a lot of issues that i'm trying to work on. i know i'm a depressive, so it'll take time for me to learn about other ppl and appreciate theat ppl are just ppl. live n let live and all that biz. my yoga helps me feel in touch with my senses. will take up the gym soon (am v budget-conscious, but also v. anti leisure centres btw. a snob? yes, i am). sure to get slated on my thread as some ppl may not like me. i know that...

harrys_nan

Hi, Good luck with your new life, just take things slowly and things will come together.
Dont rush into anything and enjoy " your" time, x

dogstarheaven

thanks for that, hun. i think you're right about taking my time.. think i v. much in need of wanting to love and be loved again. i'm not mourning for the loss of my ex (he's devastated to say the least) so the 'thing' i have for my friend is inevitable, but my head tells me that he's not right for me but i still fancy him like crazy. tis hard, temptation of the flesh!

Fruball

Oh goodness... Do you know what popped into my head... Shame you didn't do it last year when he was whinging at you about the house being cold :rotfl::o or later so you could have fed him that turkey casserole you didn't like

Sorry if that was out of line but I remember how much you struggled to keep your bills down at such an awful time and I was quite in awe of your determination.

What a lot of changes all at once! You are sooooooo like me! I think its fantastic that you are being so positive and wish you all the best of luck in the world.

I've been happily single since last July, not by choice but turned out to be a blessed relief! The last thing I want is another relationship and this year is all about ME ME ME!!! I have plans this year and they do NOT include a man - am way too damaged by previous relationships

Re the gym - are you certain you will use it? I have just taken up walking... Fast and long walks to get fit (did one and a half hours today)... I hope to progress to running :eek: but... actually that is not in the least bit realistic but power walking is possible and FREE!!!