DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 8

AmyV_2

DaveK1971 wrote: »

I am worried about taking such drastic action and although I'm sleeping a bit better than a few weeks ago I figured speaking to like minded folk on here can only be a good thing. In one way I feel slightly immoral for going down the DMP route as I am the one responsible for my debts and it somehow feels like cheating but then on the other hand most if not all of my creditors have made an absolute fortune from me over the years that I have been paying the minimum and rolling over payday loans etc and I have kept things ticking along for as long as I can but December would have been the tipping point were I would have had no option but to default.

Looking forward to supporting each other through the bad times.

Wow Dave K, never feel like you are cheating! Those PDLs are robbers! Yeah, you took out the loans, but circumstances out of your control meant they spiralled and the PDLs prey on that.

You are doing the most sensible thing! You are acknowledging you can't do this alone anymore, and seeking proper help. So, well done, feel proud of yourself for getting to this stage, and stick around here for good info and a bit of craziness now and again

PinotGrigio41

Time_to_face_the_music wrote: »

If I sang from a hymn book HH, it would definitely be the same one as you!

Mine and Mr TTFM's favourite game at the moment is "When we have finished this DMP, what are we going to do with the £1780 a month we will then have?"

Current list:

1) Buy a new to us car to replace old faithful. Fingers and everything else crossed that current lasts the next 3 and a bit years.
2) Go to France, drive from Paris to Carcasonne.
3) Go for a meal to our favourite Southern Indian restaurant, this will probably be number 1 on DF day but these are the order they came out.

We haven't got any further yet but all of it will involve spending our money with no credit ever again.

And they lived happily ever after and the evil banks never hurt them again.

The end.

Another one singing off of the same song sheet as you , HH and Bertman. We have come across alot of critiscism and assumptions from people that due to the nature of our business we are rolling around in money. Indeed it was once implied we had money to burn quite literally, but we wont go into that one now or I will be on my soapbox !!

As with many, our debts were mainly due to the situation we were in at the time,rather than extravagent or erratic spending ( ours were business difficulties too Bertman) and as HH says spiralling interest rates hardly helped !Whats done is done, we now need to pull ourself out of the mire !

Seeing that signature go down however small is so satifying ( I am though ,incredibly impatient and wish it would disappear far quicker than it is )

We play the same game as you TTFTM, usually over a bottle of Aldi Pinot and plan our future post DMP ! It beats Scrabble anyday !!

Life now is so much calmer and happier. I no longer wake at night panicking or fear someone knocking on the door demanding money. .

Thats it for now, goodbye ! x

catandy

Hi

I hope you dont mind me crashing the party but I'm in a position that I'm looking at setting up a DMP and have my call the CCCS tomorrow morning to run thru my options. I have got lots of questions to people that are going thru the same thing so excuse me if this is the wrong place or all the questions have been asked before.

1. I am responsible for all the debts and all the bills for my household. there is another adult but they do not generate an income and do not pay for anything - will they have to be included in the calculations ie their benefit or money they got from a bequeathment have to be counted.
2. To now ive been making payments on all my debts all be in absolute minimums, this will stop next month as Ive lost my freelancing work and am trying to find more work but unlikely until the New Year now. Again will I qualify?
3. I've got some payments due out this week on CC's all minimum payments set up again but do I cancel them and use the money to feed us/ put leccie in the meter?
4. Will this effect my business? Im a company director and dont take an income from the business - in reality its only just started trading so its just about paying for itself but will I have to stand down as a director?
5. I pay household bills for my stepdaughter as she is on benefit - will that be counted in my assessment as being reasonable expenses? I really dont want to let her down. I've cut all luxuries I possibly can so I can carry on paying this for her.
6. How much of a life will I have left? I've been looking at all the options of sorting out my debts - DMP, IVA and even bankruptcy to be honest. I've got 2 teenaged sons who have gone without so much whilst this has dragged on and on for the last 4 years or so and they have so little that I need to do the right thing so they still have some 'treats'. they get the equivalent of 20 pw each this covers their lunches at college, bus fares to and back and any spends - will that be classed as 'reasonable'?

sorry as you can probably tell my head is spinning with all of this - I dont know which way to turn and am flitting between being angry that im in this position (company I worked for not being straight with me and stringing me along) to being ashamed that Ive got myself in this mess to crying cos ive just messed everything up so badly. any advice/ opinions/ experiences gratefully received.

and thank you in advance

bertman

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

Another one singing off of the same song sheet as you , HH and Bertman. We have come across alot of critiscism and assumptions from people that due to the nature of our business we are rolling around in money. Indeed it was once implied we had money to burn quite literally, but we wont go into that one now or I will be on my soapbox !!

As with many, our debts were mainly due to the situation we were in at the time,rather than extravagent or erratic spending ( ours were business difficulties too Bertman) and as HH says spiralling interest rates hardly helped !Whats done is done, we now need to pull ourself out of the mire !

Seeing that signature go down however small is so satifying ( I am though ,incredibly impatient and wish it would disappear far quicker than it is )

We play the same game as you TTFTM, usually over a bottle of Aldi Pinot and plan our future post DMP ! It beats Scrabble anyday !!

Life now is so much calmer and happier. I no longer wake at night panicking or fear someone knocking on the door demanding money. .

Thats it for now, goodbye ! x

I think if you asked most small business owners now for a truthful answer, you would find that a vast majority are running on a knife edge. The trouble is you have to keep a strong nerve and imply to customers etc that the business is doing very well. In the last two years before it went I have never worked as hard in my life, two jobs plus the business, I honestly don't know how I did it, my OH was and still is an absolute star, she never once threw the towel in. We fought this together and are still fighting to clear the debts.
We now work hard and are well paid but obviously a large chunk is taken out for the DMP. We are pretty much starting over again, which at 50 years old is tough you want to be able to at least have a cushion at that age...

But now - we pay cash for everything and have done for a couple of years, the DMP means we can sleep at night and talk about other things apart from how to move money around to satisfy the biggest problem (which was becoming a daily occurence). Family is the most important thing now and it has really brought us closer together to realise we almost lost everything. We don't take anything for granted now.

This forum has been a great support over the last few years, without it I don't think we would be where we are now - you really do think you are on your own against the world and nobody else is in the same situation, but debt is more widespread than we all think. Its just how long before it gets the better of you!!

Thanks for the messages back, its good to know there are people who care!!

carlyfluck

husbands pay day and its so nice to have money left over!!! have put some away in our new emergancy fund, something we have never been able to afford before, and just about to go food shopping with a slighty higher budget then the usual £30 a week for 4 of us. i can eat!!!!! yay!

Time_to_face_the_music

DaveK1971 wrote: »

Hi all, joined MSE last night and finding it really helpful.

I've not exactly been great with money at any point in my life but my real problems started when I got divorced forteen years or so ago and ended up living off credit for three years to pay a mortgage for my ex and rent for myself. In those days despite earning a pitance getting credit was easy and I just kind of stumbled along worrying about each month at a time until suddenly realising I owed £46k and was struggling!!

Slowly I started to sort things and over the last eight years or so reduced my debt to about £7k but then two years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life and... took out a payday loan. With hindsight I hate myself for this, am embarrased and ashamed that I was stupid enough to go there but at the time we wanted to move house (rental) and the payday loan was to pay the deposit on the new place until I got my deposit back from the previous house which I could use to repay the payday loan. Seemed reasonable but then our old letting agency refused to pay back our deposit (which they hadn't protected in a scheme) and swiftly went into liquidation leaving me in a cycle of taking payday loan to pay off payday loan and adding extra debt when the car needed repairing etc.

The last two years have been hell and every month I have found myself visiting payday websites just after payday each month to try and find a way of covering bills etc. Finally after failing to find a consolidation loan at a non extortionate rate (78% apr over 10 years was the best I could find) I have somehow summoned the strentgh to ask for help and have just entered into a DMP with Stepchange owing about £12k.

I am worried about taking such drastic action and although I'm sleeping a bit better than a few weeks ago I figured speaking to like minded folk on here can only be a good thing. In one way I feel slightly immoral for going down the DMP route as I am the one responsible for my debts and it somehow feels like cheating but then on the other hand most if not all of my creditors have made an absolute fortune from me over the years that I have been paying the minimum and rolling over payday loans etc and I have kept things ticking along for as long as I can but December would have been the tipping point were I would have had no option but to default.

Looking forward to supporting each other through the bad times.

Hi Dave and welcome :hello:

Don't be embarrassed, don't be ashamed, don't believe you are being amoral or are cheating. Instead be proud that you are doing something about this. It's not an easy decision to start a DMP but it is a real way of dealing with your debts and takes you from a dark place to somewhere with light at the end of the tunnel.

Before we started our DMP, we borrowed from Peter to pay Paul and shuffled money around all month to try and pay everything on time. We ended up each month in more debt and we could truly never see the end of it and imagined ourselves retiring or even dying still in debt.

This forum is all about support. I have had so much help, advice and shared other people's experiences here, if you get a chance just read back through some of the thread and you will pick up tons of stuff, it's a real life saver. If you need to know anything, just ask; if you want a moan or a whinge, we will listen; we are all in the same boat so no judgements or recriminations from us. Stick around and please keep us up to date with how you are getting on

Time_to_face_the_music

catandy wrote: »

Hi

I hope you dont mind me crashing the party but I'm in a position that I'm looking at setting up a DMP and have my call the CCCS tomorrow morning to run thru my options. I have got lots of questions to people that are going thru the same thing so excuse me if this is the wrong place or all the questions have been asked before.

Hi Catandy and welcome :hello:

catandy wrote: »

I am responsible for all the debts and all the bills for my household. there is another adult but they do not generate an income and do not pay for anything - will they have to be included in the calculations ie their benefit or money they got from a bequeathment have to be counted.

You can do the DMP on your own, no need to include anyone else in the household if you dont want to.
1. To now ive been making payments on all my debts all be in absolute minimums, this will stop next month as Ive lost my freelancing work and am trying to find more work but unlikely until the New Year now. Again will I qualify?

Yes many of us stick with minimum payments until the bitter end then realise we cant do it any more. If your budget does not balance and if according to CCCS spending guidelines you have more going out than coming in, you will be eligible for a DMP.

2. I've got some payments due out this week on CC's all minimum payments set up again but do I cancel them and use the money to feed us/ put leccie in the meter?

Cancel them, send them all a token payment and use the money for food and utilities. Start a small emergency fund if you have any spare. If you have debts with your bank, make sure that you have opened a new bank account and transferred your funds there first so your bank can't use your money against their debts.

3. Will this effect my business? Im a company director and dont take an income from the business - in reality its only just started trading so its just about paying for itself but will I have to stand down as a director?

There are at least 2 business owners here, they will give you better advice than me on this but I am pretty sure a DMP does not stop you from being a business director.

4. I pay household bills for my stepdaughter as she is on benefit - will that be counted in my assessment as being reasonable expenses? I really dont want to let her down. I've cut all luxuries I possibly can so I can carry on paying this for her.

This is a tough one. We used to do this for our daughter and granddaughter and we can't under the DMP. You need to ask CCCS but we were not allowed to do it

5. How much of a life will I have left? I've been looking at all the options of sorting out my debts - DMP, IVA and even bankruptcy to be honest. I've got 2 teenaged sons who have gone without so much whilst this has dragged on and on for the last 4 years or so and they have so little that I need to do the right thing so they still have some 'treats'. they get the equivalent of 20 pw each this covers their lunches at college, bus fares to and back and any spends - will that be classed as 'reasonable'?

We actually find that we have more money in the DMP than we did before it but it depends on your incomings and outgoings. Treats have to be budgeted for, we save money on one thing so we can spend a little on something else. There is room for manouevre in the budgets but you need to balance it with the speed you want to pay off the debts. Have you done the CCCS Debt Remedy? If not, do it in preparation for your call tomorrow.

sorry as you can probably tell my head is spinning with all of this - I dont know which way to turn and am flitting between being angry that im in this position (company I worked for not being straight with me and stringing me along) to being ashamed that Ive got myself in this mess to crying cos ive just messed everything up so badly. any advice/ opinions/ experiences gratefully received.

Don't apologise, this is all an emotional roller coaster and tears and elation came to me in equal parts until we got it under control and we could see the debts actually starting to go down each month.


and thank you in advance

Stick around, you will get amazing help, advice, experience and above all, support here. We all know how you feel because we have done it ourselves

Time_to_face_the_music

carlyfluck wrote: »

husbands pay day and its so nice to have money left over!!! have put some away in our new emergancy fund, something we have never been able to afford before, and just about to go food shopping with a slighty higher budget then the usual £30 a week for 4 of us. i can eat!!!!! yay!

Great news Carly, having money left at the end of the month, even if it's only a few pounds is an amazing feeling. I still can't get over the buzz of being in the black at the end of each month! :T

debtdawg

Going to go back through and read what I've missed the past couple of days, but just thought I'd let you know the good news that two of our creditors (MBNA and Nationwide CC) have both accepted our offer and frozen all future interest and charges, result!

Hopelessly_Hopeful

debtdawg wrote: »

Going to go back through and read what I've missed the past couple of days, but just thought I'd let you know the good news that two of our creditors (MBNA and Nationwide CC) have both accepted our offer and frozen all future interest and charges, result!

Well done!

Not wishen to dampen the enthusiasm... more to handle expectations...... they dont usually guarantee interest freezes,... sometimes they add on laters.... but do by all means enjoy it whilst you can as better to have them frozen earlier when the debt is at its highest.

HHx