Advice for a father please

EclipsedMind

Mark has given some very solid advice in his post. Join FNF and post on their forums and you will get a lot of solid advice. If you still don't have PR then get the court to award that. Show them teh DNA test and point out that contact had been sucessful (cafcass probably had report from contact centre to that effect) and it should be an easy win. With PR you will have more options to pursue but without it the going will be tough.

If you are unsure about joining FNF then go to a branch meeting near you and you will get some advice off other members anyway.
http://www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings

I have experience of litigating in person if you want to go that route to save money and have not found it too difficult(feel free to pm questions). As mark point out a mckenzie friend might be a good option if you are less confortable representing yourself as tehy can help with paperwork and give advice and even attend court (but usually cannot speak in court). A "professional" mckenzie friend usually charges a quarter of what a solicitor would.

EM

Callum_77

Hi again,

Its been 3 weeks now and I feel like no one is doing anything!

As I said above, I contacted CSA and Child Benefit. CSA just keep coming out with there is no update on it yet.

Last week they promised to ring me later that day, didnt happen and nor did it happen the other 4 times I rang them. They have even said they usually get something back within a week or so and I just have to wait. (They are waiting to hear back from child benefit).

I went to court last week and they ruled to find her but said it could take at least a month and thats if she is in this country which I know she isn't.

Is there anything I can do regarding the CSA payments that are still been taken out? Also, she has been abroad since September, would I be entitled to a refund for all or even part of the payments Ive made since then?

kevin137

Good luck with your chasing this....!!! And well done for sticking with it...

CSA can only go by the information they have, and unfortunately all the time CB is being claimed you are liable.... However, if it is proved she had no claim for that, you will or should be entitled to all CSA back from the date she was not eligible, and that would be when she moved...

Stick with the court, if they can;t find her, you can only keep applying for residency and as such then be entitled to the CB which moves the CSA claim to your favour...!

Is there anyone you know that can find an address for her in Spain, is she on fb etc...??? It may be you could trace her that way...

All you can do is stick with it right now, and raise complaints and questions regarding the claim with the CSA, but do it all in writing....!!! And send them recorded delivery...!!!

Bluemeanie_2

I cannot offer you any useful advice. Only to offer my sincerest thoughts and good wishes. I have had many heated debates with women who use their children as weapons. Hope you sort it out.

Found_true_love

Hello Callum

Hello EM, at last I find the time to visit this forum!! Hope you are mellow tonight

Spain may be a signatory to the Hague convention, this deals with international abduction cases.

If you have parental responsibility for your child is there a contact or residency order in place?

You say that you have spent £3k on solicitors what are they or have they been doing for this money to get you contact with your daughter or to try and take steps to get your daughter back?

Now call me old fasioned but the CSA money stuff paills into insignificance when faced with the "loss" of your child to another courntry.

I feel that your efforts and focus should be on getting your child back to this country

I have a good contact who deals with international "abduction" cases, he, like me is a McKenzie friend we are both members of FNF, he is a professional and charges for his time (about 1/4 of what a solicitor charges, I charge for expenses and nominal costs of help in line with how helpful you think I have been, forum help is free and freely given.

its horses for courses, solicitors will normally play dumb and take your money as you are the father, first level get free help via forum, get initial help from a non professional McK, then get specialist help from a professional McK

All much much cheaper that using the useless solicitors, I used a local solicitor and they did so badly (and because I caught them out they agree to waive their fee of some £6000, yes Im not kidding that six thousand pounds and they have just recently agreed to give me a "compensation" payment of £200 for some other stuff they played games with me on)

Yes I have a jaundiced view of solicitors but a view that is bourne out of experience (and not just mine!!!)

So Callum, post back with some more details to help build a picture but remember dont post identifying details, as I am sure you will already know

Hope this helps

Russ

[Deleted User]

Callum_77 wrote: »

Hi again,

Its been 3 weeks now and I feel like no one is doing anything!

As I said above, I contacted CSA and Child Benefit. CSA just keep coming out with there is no update on it yet.

Last week they promised to ring me later that day, didnt happen and nor did it happen the other 4 times I rang them. They have even said they usually get something back within a week or so and I just have to wait. (They are waiting to hear back from child benefit).

I went to court last week and they ruled to find her but said it could take at least a month and thats if she is in this country which I know she isn't.

Is there anything I can do regarding the CSA payments that are still been taken out? Also, she has been abroad since September, would I be entitled to a refund for all or even part of the payments Ive made since then?

Callum you need to contact the CSA in writing. Make a written complaint and send it recorded delivery. Start making a paper trail and keep copies of everything. Good luck. I can't understand why some Women are such evil b1tches!

Callum_77

Hi all, Im bumping my thread as I need advice and its easier if you have all the previous information.

Finally it has been proven she is living abroad, even has her own business there! I eventually decided not to pursue it any longer in the interest of my daughter. Shes had a new life over there for nearly 2 years now.

So my problem with the CSA.... trying to get a penny back that I have been paying them. I might be lucky to get the last 2 months payments back. The lady said they are under no obligation to pay me anything back....even though 16 months ago I told them and child benefit she wasnt in the country any longer. Its taken me this long to get csa payments stopped.

Do you have any advice about claiming money back that I have paid? I've overpaid but they have no obligation to pay me back...is that right?

RAS

Start by contacting your MP. The CSA tend to jump quicker.

fedupdad

Sorry to hear your story but what I am going to say probably won't help.

First the good news. If she has left the uk with the child to live in Spain then you are not liable to pay child support through the csa. They will fog you off with there usual tripe that as child support is still being paid then your case can't close. Stop paying the csa now, once you do that you will find that your case will soon close.


Now the not so good news.

Don't bother reporting it to the police. They will do nothing as the cps will say it is not in the public interest to prosecute her. Mainly because she is mum.

Don't waste your money on court fees you will get no where there either. My ex abducted my three kids inspire of the fact that there was a prohibited steps order in place which stated that she was not allowed to leave the uk. The judge commented recently that she had gotten away with it and would not deal with her contempt.

My advise as hard as it will sound is get on with your life and do everything you can not to pay her a penny. Women or men who abduct children should kiss goodbye to any support payments.

Good luck for the future but don't expect a positive response. Men get nothing women get everything and should get off their backsides and get a job

Callum_77

Thanks for the reply and sorry to hear about your story too. I don't think some mothers understand what it does to the child. Its so frustrating, especially how everyone seems to side with them.

Not sure if you saw my recent post above as I created this thread over a year ago. The CSA refused to stop it until I finally had proof from court she was abroad. (Even then they wanted to wait till the next court hearing to see if she turned up!) I have eventually had it stopped...

My issue is, I have paid nearly 2 years of CSA whilst she has been abroad and she wasnt entitled to a penny of it. The frustrating part is 15 months ago I told them and they wouldnt do anything. Now they say they are under no obligation to pay me anything back. I need to know legally where I am.

Going to contact my mp next week if I havent heard anything from the csa.